Young Adult Revisited

It's Christmastime in Sweet Valley, which can only mean one thing: it's time to ripoff a Tom Hanks' movie! As I mentioned, it's Christmastime in Sweet Valley. The twins just finished up their last exams and can't wait to have some fun. For Elizabeth, this means talking to Amy about all the books they want to read. Amy moans about how books for their age group are oh-so-boring and how she wants to be older. Liz decides that she'll get her a new and exciting book as a gift. Jessica is at a Unicorn Club meeting when Janet Howell flips out. She thinks the girls slacked off recently and that they don't look as good as they should. Her and her brother Joe decided to hold a joint Christmas party, and she doesn't want the members showing up looking like middle school kids at a party with high school students. Janet praises Lila and Mandy before calling out Jessica for looking like a ragamuffin. When she gets home, she digs through her close...

Watch out Nora, Margo, and Jessica. There is a new nut job in town who just might be worse then you...okay, just as bad as you. Sara, some random character I care nothing about, hurt her leg and is out for a few weeks, so Jessica convinces Lila to take her spot on the squad. Apparently, Jessica and Heather's fighting got so bad that their squad is now down to eight girls. While practicing, Jessica sees a hot guy with a camera. Her and Heather both go overboard to give him something to look at. It turns out that his name is Brad and that he's in town on assignment for Scoop magazine. The lead reporter, Diane, was one of the Girls of '76. Even though we had three whole books that made a big deal out of the current squad, her squad went to nationals back in the 70s. She now wants to write an article on where they all are now. She hires Elizabeth to help her research what happened to the girls, and Brad goes around flirting with Jessica and hitting on Liz. He ac...

Cindy has a massive fear of the closet, so it doesn't fill her with confidence when she checks one night and sees a glowing green light coming from within. She talks it out with her friends, and they basically take a wait and see approach. Adam does, however, tell her to call him if she gets scared later that same night. Naturally, the light comes back and starts taking over her room. Cindy manages to make one phone call before a giant green monster pops out and drags her away. Adam gets there and finds her missing, so he calls the gang and they all meet in her bedroom. Watch decides that since she had such a big fear of the closet that she made the monster inside come to life. Sally remembers that this kid George has a massive fear too. In a completely dick move, they go over to his house, and Sally keeps riding him until he's terrified. The monster then comes out of his closet, they grab it, and Adam, Sally, and Watch get pulled through the closet. Cindy wakes...

Prologue: Melanie Anderson could be a shampoo model, or so everyone tells her. She thinks it's because she never uses any chemicals and spends a lot of time taking care of her hair. As she stares at her reflection in pleasure, she sees two faces appear. Repeatedly saying that they can't be there because she already gave them what they wanted, she turns to run. A silver cord comes out from the mirror and decapitates her. Yup, these books are a little darker than the Fear Street books from my youth! We then cut to Marla Newman getting ready for a debate in history class. Sitting down in the cafeteria next to her debate opponent Kenny, she Jessica Wakefield-like mentions that she dresses better than him. Another girl, Clarissa, shows up and makes some snide comments before "accidentally" spilling iced tea all over her new shirt. They shout at each other, Marla silently hopes she falls on her face, and she trips and does fall on her face. Clarissa claims ...

Stacey's mom seems a little rundown lately, but Stacey thinks that Maureen is just busy looking for a new job. She tells her daughter that while Ed pays child support and alimony, he can't keep supporting two homes. Ed then calls with some super big news: he just got a huge promotion at work and he wants Stacey to come to NYC as his date, even though no other kids will be there, which comes across as a little creepy. Stacey immediately says yes and starts planning her trip. The older girls all go downtown to pick out the perfect outfit for her. Jessi had a dance class and poor Mal got stuck going to see her grandparents. They also stop by the Rosebud Cafe, which is the first time I think it got brought up in the series. Stacey comes home to find that her mom is still feeling sick. While in the middle of a math test, the principal calls and asks her to come right to his office. Mrs. Pike comes to pick her up and tells her that her mom passed out while downtown af...

This is one of those annoying books that introduces a new character every chapter, so I'm not sure how well my recap will come out. So Sweet Valley Middle School is heading to the Enchanted Forest amusement park for the day. Elizabeth just can't stop worrying because Jessica won't listen to her. She tells her mom that Caroline asked her to sit with her on the bus, she said she was already sitting with Jessica, Jessica promised, but she doesn't know if her twin remembers. When they get on the bus, Jessica sits with Lila and says they made plans that morning. Elizabeth has to sit with Caroline, and she's so annoyed that she vows never to forgive her twin. They get to the park, and Lila instantly takes charge. She wants to go to some mirror maze thing instead of the roller coaster Jess wants to ride. Jess loses her and finds her with some cute guy she knows. They decide to run off together, and she ends up with Ellen and some other kids. Liz pairs ...

Yay, someone is finally giving Claudia exactly what she needs! Claudia is at home, chilling and thinking about the 900 th Halloween she will experience in middle school when Stacey calls. They chat for awhile until Claudia says she's having problems using a protractor. Stacey offers to help, but Claudia changes the subject. See, Claudia doesn't want everyone to know that she's once again sucking at school. No matter how hard she studies or what she does, she just keeps failing. One of her teachers pulls her aside to tell her that she'll face some serious consequences if she fails again, which is why the principal calls a meeting when she does fail. Before she can fail, Janine and her parents offer to help. Janine pairs her up with one of the girls from her class as a tutor. We know Rosa is cool because it's the 90s and she wears a newsboy hat. She pretty much calls Claudia out on how she has horrible study habits and really needs to work harder. ...