Hey, I've got a secret too! It's called I hate Conner, I totally hate Conner! Liz is still completely obsessed with him, even though he kind of broke Maria's heart. She decides to tell Tia that she has a crush on someone without saying who he is, but Tia secretly knows. She tells Liz that she should just kiss him because you can tell everything you need to know from a single kiss and then gleefully writes in her journal about how the two are absolutely perfect for each other. That sends Liz into a tailspin about how she can kiss him and when she can kiss him.
Melissa is still acting like Jessica is a huge whore, while Will starts pulling away from her. Tia finally confronts her over lying to Jessica about the pep rally, which almost got her in trouble with the coach. Since Tia told the coach Jess was sick, she gets off the hook. Tia does warn Melissa that if she doesn't act right, she'll tell the coach what really happened. Melissa agrees but keeps thinking how Tia will get in shape once the coach makes her captain.
Will, who is a complete and total weenie, spends the whole book trying to avoid her. She's constantly either bitching about Jessica, crying over Tia, or whining about something else. Will even stands her up to play basketball with the guys. The coach finally does name the captain but picks Tia. Will planned on breaking up with her but instead finds her crying. She and her friends decided that Tia and Jessica went to the coach together and told on her. He doesn't believe that either would do that and kind of rolls his eyes when she starts in on Jessica again, but then decides to stick with her when she starts in on how Jessica ruined her life.
Conner announces that his music teacher's band just got a gig opening for a major rock band that weekend and he's getting tickets and backstage passes. Elizabeth and Maria just so happen to be there and get invited too. Liz decides that she can kiss him before the concert, while Maria starts suddenly talking about how she's completely over him. Since Liz was supposed to work, she gets Jessica to do a twin switch and take over her shift. Liz agrees to work for Jessica the next morning.
Her plans don't work too well because the whole group goes together. Even though she suggests the two of them drive separately, she winds up stuck on a bench seat in the van between him and Maria with Tia and Angel making out behind them. Evan spends most of the night trying to chat up Liz and ignore Maria who won't stop flirting with him. It makes Andy laugh because it's clear Maria wants to use Evan to make Conner jealous, that Conner is jealous of Evan for paying attention to Liz, and that Evan has a thing for Liz.
Jessica fills in for her at the House of Java and has one of the best nights of her life. No one makes fun of her or calls her a whore because they assume she's Liz. Liz told Jeremy, her coworker, about the switch but forget to tell Jess, and because she can't remember his name, she keeps calling him Justin. They accidentally smash some milk, get yelled at by the boss, and sent home early. Jeremy comes thisclose to kissing her outside before changing his mind.
See, Jeremy has no money. His dad lost his job, and all the money he makes goes to helping keep them from losing their house. That doesn't stop his dad from lecturing him about how he should date and have more fun. Jeremy also has to lie to all his friends about why he doesn't have money to go out to dinner or hang out with them. He also gets ticked off at the way they treat girls, going so far as to say that they only have an interest in a girl if she can do something for him.
Liz calls Jessica in the middle of the night and asks her if she'll work her early shift at HOJ so she can get more sleep. Jessica gets to see Jeremy again. They do some more flirting and are actually pretty cute together. She thinks he might kiss her again before he makes up an excuse to take off. After heading back to the Fowler house, she gets a ride to the game with her mom and runs into Jeremy again since he plays for the opposing team. He gets flirty again, but she sees some SVH kids coming, knows that they'll call her a whore, and runs away from him. Though he tries to look for her later, he can't find her and hopes he sees her again soon.
Elizabeth wakes up the next morning and can't stop thinking about Conner, who she once again runs into in the bathroom. Andy calls and says that he's having people over for a swim. He told Conner to tell her but points out that Conner never writes anything down. She thinks she's supposed to do something but forgets when she sees that he did leave her a note, which is a clear sign that he's totally in love with her. Poor Jessica stops by work and learns that Liz never showed up. Her boss sees her in her cheerleader uniform and fires her on the spot.
The party is – not surprisingly – lame. Elizabeth keeps staring at Conner while he flirts with some other girls. Evan keeps drooling over Liz. Maria keeps trying to flirt with him while spending the whole time staring at Conner. And Andy laughs at the whole thing. Andy and Evan start teasing Liz and toss her in the swimming pool. Her mascara runs all over her face, everyone laughs at her, and she runs away almost in tears.
Andy brings Liz a shirt to wear, and she decides to just head home. As soon as she hops in the Jeep, Conner stops on his way out of the party. Liz drops her keys, he reaches for them, and they share a supremely way lame moment. Conner kisses her, then makes up an excuse, and takes off. Liz decides that since he kissed her and not the other way around, he must be totally in love with her. Conner wonders why in the hell he did it. The end.
*I love that Melissa acts like Jessica just swooped in and stole her man and everyone goes along with it. I can't believe that not a single one of her friends would point out that Will is pretty much a dog.
*Jessica comes back from work and sees Lila in her cheerleader uniform. Lila makes up an excuse to take off, Mr. Fowler tells her to wait for Jessica to get ready, and Jessica pretty much wants to die at the idea of being stuck in a car with Lila and the other girls. It made me feel bad for her.
*Liz feels uncomfortable at the concert because she wears black pants and a blue tank top that shows off her skin. She even thinks about wearing a cardigan over it and thinks about how it's so not like her. Then why the hell did she buy it? It's described as showing off “several” inches of skin, so it's not like she bought it and thought it was a regular tank top.
*Jeremy's dad super duper pissed me off. He wakes up from a nap on the couch, gives him a lecture about how he needs to act like a teenager and not work so much, and then goes back to lay down on the couch. Um, who the hell do you think is taking care of all the bills while you lay around the house and do nothing? Jeremy literally has to pay for someone to fix their water heater and then contemplates buying his dad a copy of the paper because it's been so long since he applied for a job.
*Jeremy is surprised that Jessica is a cheerleader because she's not bubbly or giggly funny but more sarcastic funny. I never really thought to her as either...
*One of Melissa's friends makes a crack about how she saw Jessica with a guy and how that's not surprising. Given how all the cheerleaders act on that squad, I can't believe Jess is the only one labeled a slut!
*I feel bad for Jessica at the end. She writes in her journal about how she has no friends, no job, everyone hates her, and how she can't even trust her sister anymore.
*Liz wears a bikini to the party under a tee shirt. Maria draws attention to it because Liz never, ever wears bikinis, which is something Liz says too. Um, I'm pretty sure she wears a bikini multiple times in the SVH series.
*There's also a lot of talk about how she wore a ton of makeup to the party and how her mascara made her look like a drowned rat. Yeah, once again, she frequently wore mascara before.