Young Adult Revisited

According to the official book list, this is number 60 in the SVU series. I found it super confusing though because it mentions stuff that happened in the earlier books but not what happened later, as in Liz and Jess fighting over Sam and then her taking off to England. So, the book picks up with Liz moping over this guy Ben. He's supposedly a journalism major who was super into her until they actually went out on a date. She keeps waiting by the phone for him to call and feeling super pathetic about herself. That makes it all the worse when the twins' cousin Diane calls to talk to them about her upcoming wedding. Not only are they bridesmaids, but they're all staying at the same hotel together for the weekend. Jessica considers bringing some rando with her for the weekend, which makes Liz feel even worse. Cut to Liz whining over whether she should invite Ben or wait for him to call her. Guess which one she chooses? When he still doesn't call, she resign...

Let’s get some of the boring stuff out of the way before I go off on another rant about Jessica. First Tom does a story about how women have all the sexual power and goes on and on about how women can do whatever they want, but guys can’t. He basically lets out all his frustration on Liz and says that women can say no, get upset when a guy wants different things and expect the guy to hold on forever. He turns into a pariah with all the girls on campus hating him and he gets in trouble at the station. Danny keeps moping over Isabella because she’s the big love of his life. He decides to fly to Switzerland and win her back, but stops because it’s too expensive. Let that sink in for a minute: he spends the whole book moaning over her, but then won’t get off his ass and fly to see her because he doesn’t want to pay so much for a ticket. He and Tom go out drinking, he gets drunk and Tom has to save him when he accosts some girl who vaguely looks like Isabella. Todd can’t stop thinking...

This is the book where Jessica goes insane. It’s also the book where I started snapping (out loud) at the characters and had to put it down before I threw it against the wall. First of all, there really aren’t any stories beyond Jessica. Danny is still in love with Isabella, who still has amnesia. Her parents move into a hotel with her and agree to stay in town and let him try a few things to bring back her memory. He brings her pineapple pizza, which she used to love and now hates, then takes her on walks and basically just tries to be a good boyfriend. In the end, her parents decide that the best place for her is a sanitarium in Switzerland. Oh yeah, I’m sure that’s a lot better. Dana and Todd start spending a lot of time together, but neither one of them wants to make the first move. Todd is worried that he’s being unfaithful to Gin-Yung and Dana doesn’t think a nice guy like Todd would like her. It doesn’t help when Tom confronts her on campus and calls her a whore. Apparentl...

Everyone is in love and everyone is having problems. Danny keeps sitting by Isabella’s hospital bed, hoping that she’ll wake up and recover from everything that happened. The doctor tells him to encourage her other senses so he brings in her favorite clothes, perfume and tape. After draping the shirt over her, making her smell the perfume and putting the tape on, she starts moving. Isabella wakes up, but he’s heartbroken to learn that she has amnesia and doesn’t remember anyone. Winston starts taking dating advice from Bruce because he’s desperate to get Denise back. Yes, Bruce Patman who he should know isn’t the best person to ask for help from. He buys her a cute charm shaped like an elephant, but it’s made out of ivory and sets her off. Now I thought it was illegal to sell ivory, but what do I know? He then brings her another gift, which turns out to be a wrapped up cheeseburger. He explains that all the layers represent their love, but she thinks he should stop trying to brib...

The truth about Ryan is that he’s kind of a dick and I don’t get why everyone wants him. Is that him on the cover? If so, he kind of reminds me of the stereotypical douche bag lifeguard. The one that really belongs in some Baby-Sitter’s Club book. So when we last left Liz, she was stuck on the side of the road and crying her eyes out because she was missing a date with Ryan. She’s now stuck in a garage, waiting for the Jeep to get fixed. The mechanic tells her that the Jeep overheated and broke a fan belt, probably because she was driving too fast in the heat. Liz gets pissed because he makes a sexist comment about how she was probably in the beauty parlor, until she realizes that he was right. Ryan meanwhile is nursing a hangover and avoiding the ringing phone because he knows that it’s Liz. He keeps drinking whiskey and blaming her for his drinking. Jessica shows up, trying to escape Ben and Priya and has a little flirting with Ryan. Liz shows up and Jess runs off, but then Liz...

For some reason, some of my SVU recaps didn't post originally. That probably explains why I was jumping so many books lol. I'm going to just post them now and once I get caught up, I'll have the last 7-10 books of the series reviewed all in a row :-)

This is like the book where everyone goes crazy. Danny suddenly starts thinking that Isabella is cheating on him because he sees her goofing around with a frat guy. Then he starts following her around all the time and making rude comments because he thinks that she’s going to leave him. Isabella realizes that he’s acting weird and it turns her off. She asks him to take her to some sorority ball thing and he won’t go because (a) he doesn’t feel comfortable around those people (even though he never had a problem before) and (b) he thinks it’s stupid and that Isabella should hate the sorority anyway. The only reason he agrees to go is because she threatens to take someone else! Jessica gets bored with Nick because he took a leave of absence from the police force, while he works on getting ready for college. He wants to study and shows up to checkout one of her classes, which leads to Jessica getting turned off. She thinks that he’s going to turn into another regular college guy, so her wa...

This book is great because (a) Jessica is barely mentioned and (b) Liz isn’t in it at all! Apparently she’s in San Diego working on a story for the paper and she took Nina with her. The book is pretty much all about Lila, who’s a little sad and depressed because Bruce is studying in Japan for the semester. She ends up in art history class, which she took with Jess, but Jess skipped out so she could work on her tan. Lila sees Damon Price, the new TA and falls head over heels in love. He singles her out in class, making her look like a moron for not doing the reading, but that somehow equals love in her eyes. Lila starts obsessing over him in a very unhealthy way. She sits around all the time, moping and thinking about him. When she thinks about Bruce, she feels guilty for about 2 seconds and then goes back to drooling. She eventually calls and leaves him a message, asking him for private help, but then feels worse when he doesn’t call back. Isabella pops up in the book for a few scenes....

Apparently the events of the last book have completely wiped Jessica out and now she can’t handle doing anything. Liz asks her to take over the main role in her play, which just so happens to be based on her and Tom and conveniently, Jess helped her run lines and knows all the words. Jess won’t do it though because she says she needs time to sleep, rest and relax. Of course that doesn’t stop her from going out every single night with Vince. It’s actually kind of funny because Vince takes her out for these long nights and they go out constantly, but he doesn’t kiss her until way into the book. Liz tries to convince her twin to slow down, but Jess won’t because she says that she’s fine. She’s also “in love” so she can’t be bothered with stuff. Tom is in desperate need of a job and the only one he can find is a reviewer for a theater magazine. Vince and Liz walk him through all the pretentious words that no one really understands and gets him ready for his interview. He basically repeats ...

This is another one of those books that I ended up skimming because I didn’t read the one before it so I don’t know how Liz and Tom ended up in New York or how Jess ended up at some random boot camp/bodyguard training camp. Liz is working on producing her play off-Broadway and is dealing with a bitchy actress who keeps changing lines and doing stuff like walking on crutches and riding a unicycle on stage. Luckily she’s bonded with the hot young actor Vince, who’s working on a play next door, where all the actors go naked. Tom gets jealous and tries to find a job because he thinks Liz thinks he’s a loser. Apparently Liz wrote a play and it somehow got picked for an actual production in New York, along with two other students. Tom picked up and moved across the country for her, but now she’s getting annoyed because he’s always around. Tom goes on a bunch of interviews and only gets offered one, but turns it down because he doesn’t want to work at a dog magazine. Look, I’m a writer, I wri...

This is one of the 400 books in the series where absolutely nothing happens. It seriously takes 200+ pages to tell a few days. Jess comes home after hearing rumors that Liz is leaving Sweet Valley, only to find her twin cooking a gourmet dinner. Trust me, she ain’t making shit on a hot plate. I speak from experience. Jessica freaks out when she learns Liz is moving to Denver because she can’t understand why she wouldn’t talk to her about it. Didn’t she do the exact same thing when she wanted to go to Switzerland? Jessica storms off, but no one wants to hear her whines. They point out all the “shitty” stuff her twin does and Jess gets excited enough that she decides to throw her a party. Tom mopes about Liz leaving, while Dana wants to throw a party of her own. She runs into Scott, who tells her that she needs to make sure she keeps Tom happy. Then Liz wanders around campus, running into dozens of people who think she’s making a great decision. Tom then shoves it in her face, telling he...

Elizabeth and Scott were contacted by some lame news-magazine called NEWS2US that wants to feature them in an upcoming story. The article is supposedly about what happened at the country club, but you couldn’t tell it by the interview. Liz gets kind of flustered and Scott answers most of their questions. I love that she gets flustered because the photographer is asking her to move, while the reporter asks her questions. When the article comes out, Liz is furious! The article makes her look like a joke and Scott a hero. It leaves out all mention of Tom, Jessica, Nick and everyone else who helped on the undercover operation. They refer to Scott as the real reporter and Liz as his girlfriend, following in his footsteps. Liz confronts Scott and goes off on him, but he has an excuse. He tells her that the reporter was jealous of her. The reporter hit on him and he turned her down, so she made him the hero of the story. He says Liz is more talented and beautiful than the reporter and she tot...

Let’s just call this one Single White Female: SVU. I think the ghostwriter watched that movie and still had it fresh in their mind because I swear entire scenes and quotes from the book, came right from the movie. Isabelle and Danny are celebrating her birthday, when he gets her alone and pulls out a ring box. Seeing a diamond ring inside, she immediately tells him that she’ll marry him. Oopsie, he’s not proposing. He just wants her to have his family heirloom ring. This is really lame Danny, really lame. He literally gets all romantic with her, gives her a diamond ring and then doesn’t want to marry her. Isabelle then bonds with Jessica, talking about how she doesn’t have a whole lot of money. Her parents paid for a two-bedroom apartment off-campus and now won’t/can’t help her with any other bills. They go to some beauty school for free haircuts. Jess wimps out, but Izzy goes through it, only to end up with a short hairstyle that she doesn’t exactly love. To cap it all off, she wrecks...

It’s Sweet Valley, which means that rules and legalities mean nothing. That’s the only way I can explain why Nick is allowed to take Jessica on an undercover operation. Seriously, can you imagine what would happen if she was accidentally shot or something on this job? Anyway, she runs over to Isabel’s and asks for help. She says that Nick always looks sleazy when he goes undercover and she wants to look sleazy too. She borrows a pair of pleather pants and lets Izzy use fake black hair dye on her hair. She heads off to their meeting spot for a truly lame scene. Nick thinks Jessica is some chick he busted and Jessica thinks Nick is some loser she knew in high school because he’s dressed like a geek. Hardy-har-har. Nick tells Jessica that they’re going undercover at Verona Springs Country Club, where Lila is a member. She confesses that she told Lila she was going with him on an assignment and he freaks out, but of course forgives her. She goes shopping with Izzy again and buys a bunch of...

I really hate that these little mini-series come out of nowhere, don’t follow the other books in the series and mention characters that don’t exist outside the lifeguard world. So Liz, Jessica and Nina are all going back to Sweet Valley Shore to lifeguard. Liz keeps thinking about Ryan and wondering if he’s coming back. Nina wants nothing to do with men at all because Bryan cheated on her. Jess is all wrapped up in thoughts of Ben, despite the fact that they haven’t talked in months. She’s sure he’ll still love her though. Jessica sees Ben and they do a little flirting, but he acts kind of distant and she totally doesn’t pick up on it. He tells her that he has to help a friend get ready for the summer. I love how in the last series, everyone had to come early and try out for the team, even those who did it before. In this book, everyone who worked last summer has a spot already. Then we’re treated to a Liz and Ryan makeout scene. Winston pops up and goes to see Wendy. She and Pedro are...

Liz and Todd are in the hospital, watching to see what happens with Gin-Yung. Liz decides to leave and they have a moment, where you’d think one of them is dying. Liz feels guilty because Gin is dying, but at the same time, she wonders what that’s going to mean for them. Gin’s sister Kim goes off on Todd, which I think is completely uncalled for. Basically Kim tells him that he was a horrible boyfriend, even though they decided to break up BEFORE she went to London. She tells him that it would mean a lot if he stuck around and basically guilts him into staying there, but she’s bitchy about it too. She tells him to show up and pretend like he’s still in love with Gin, to make her last days better. Meanwhile Tom is pitching a fit because he discovered the photos his dad George, took of Liz. He goes off on him and George apologizes, calling it unfortunate. He says that he fell in love with her for being kind to him and helping him find Tom, but that he fell for her before he ever met Tom....