Saturday, June 12, 2010

Fear Street: First Date (R.L. Stine)

The book starts out with some guy killing a girl. Okay, so he parks with her, they make out for awhile and then go for a walk. He keeps comparing her to his mother, which seems to piss him off. She finds his wallet and notices that the name he gave her, doesn’t match the one on his license. It’s okay though because they take a walk and he strangles her with a wire cord.

First Date then jumps to the life of Chelsea Richards. She isn’t very interesting though. She lives on Fear Street and her family only moved to Shadyside a month ago, so her dad could take over some cafĂ© in the Old Village. She plays saxophone in the school band and her mom rags on her. Her mom seems to rag on her for a lot of things actually.

Chelsea does have one friend, Nina. Unfortunately Nina only seems to care about her boyfriend Doug and whether or not he’s cheating on her. She tries to talk to Nina when things are rough, but she’s running off with the boyfriend. On the way home, some guys in a car tail her and ask her out. She gets a little sad because apparently, she’s never had a real date.

Luckily this new kid Will moves to town and sits right next to her in homeroom. They’re both too shy to even look at each other so the odds of them getting together are slim to none. Chelsea keeps thinking about him while she’s working, but gets distracted by some new, cute guy. His name is Tim “Call Me Sparks” Sparks and after five minutes, he asks her out. He ends up running away though before she answers.

That same night, a group of thugs come into the restaurant. They terrorize her dad and hit him over the head with a pipe. While he’s passed out and bleeding, they run off, without even taking the money from the register. Her dad goes to the hospital and ends up in intensive care. Chelsea calls Nina to stay with her that night, but she shows up with Doug and they start making out on the couch. Nice friends.

Killer guy from the beginning pops up. The only real point of him being there was for him to bitch about his mom some more. Oh yeah and kill a kitten. Thanks for giving me that image before bed you bastard.

Chelsea finally goes back to work and of course sees some guys come in. They look like they might rob the restaurant, but Sparks shows up and they run off. She waits for him to ask her out, but he just drinks his coffee and leaves. He gets his own chapter, where he freaks out about not asking her out and throws a telephone through a window.

Nina proves once again that she sucks as a friend. Chelsea tries to talk to her and she just moans about Doug flirting with Suki Thomas. She then runs off mid-sentence because she sees him walk by. Luckily Will happens by and asks Chelsea to take a walk with him. He then asks her out and when she reveals that it’s her first date, he says it’s his too and asks her to keep it a secret.

Chelsea goes to work again and sees Sparks again. He asks her out and she turns him down because she has a date with Will. She goes on her date with Will, a little sad because he goes to the next town over instead of staying in Shadyside. They go up to park and kiss a little bit. Then they go for a walk and *gasp* Will pulls a cord out. Of course when she sees it, he tells her that he found it on the ground.

They go home and start making out, but she decides to interrupt the mood and make some hot chocolate. Nina shows up and Chelsea gets all excited so she can introduce them, but Will has disappeared. He calls the next day and says he told her he’d call, but he had to leave unexpectedly.

Then we get a boring scene where Chelsea eats too much. She has a sandwich, chips and some other crap, while Nina has a banana or apple and yogurt, then bitches because she can never finish a whole yogurt on her own. She goes back to work and sees Sparks, who shows up drunk. He chases her around the restaurant, falls on the grill and burns his hand. She runs off and calls the FBI because an agent warned her about a guy matching Sparks’ description. The FBI show up and take him off to the hospital.

Will shows up at her house and they fool around a little. She confesses that she told Nina about him and he suggests she invite her over. Then he does a little happy dance because Chelsea is too stupid to realize that he’s the killer. Then he does some weird stuff and she realizes that he’s actually the guy the FBI wants. She tries to escape outside, but he chases her and chokes her to death.

Nina shows up and gets suspicious when he says Chelsea is upstairs, but she never says anything. Then he says that she went for ice cream and she gets more suspicious. He threatens to kill her, but Chelsea shows up. Then the FBI shows up. Turns out that Chelsea can hold her breath for a long time because of playing the saxophone and faked being dead. I’m just glad this is done.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Sweet Valley High #8: Heart Breaker

Jess and Bill Chase are starring in a production of Splendor in the Grass. Apparently her lusting over him in the last book was a big joke, because now he’s in love with her and she won’t give him the time of day. Liz asks her to be nice to him, but she just laughs it off.

Liz has her own problems anyway, in the form of Patsy Webber. Is she even mentioned again? She’s apparently Todd’s ex-girlfriend and now she’s back, looking all hot because she lived in France. Todd does nothing wrong, but Liz acts like he’s dry humping her in front of the school.

Then we have DeeDee Gordon, who’s not so secretly in love with Bill. She mentions that she wants to learn how to surf, so he offers her lessons. That doesn’t sit well with Jess. Even though she’s all into Tom McKay, she wants Bill at her beck and call.

Case in point: she interrupts their lesson at the beach and makes Bill feel shitty for not standing and watching her from afar. Then she makes him drive and get her lunch, just because she sees Tom coming and doesn’t want him to see Bill mooning over her.

The beach scene is another excuse for Liz to moan. Patsy shows up and when she asks if anyone wants to go swimming, Todd is the only one to pipe up. She runs off and sees Olivia, who says that Patsy and Todd were once in love. I love that Liz can cheat on him 700 times, but he can’t even have an ex without her losing it.

Bill has a long conversation with himself and it turns out that he loves Liz and then Jess, because they look like his old girlfriend Julianne. They were all in love and they both surfed. Then they had a fight at a party and she drove off with someone else. The car crashed and she died. He went surfing, caught pneumonia and almost died.

Todd and Bill have a hysterical talk, where Todd says that he almost made the mistake of thinking Jessica was the one for him. He waxes poetic about all the things he loves about Liz and Bill thinks that it was the same way with Julianne, but still thinks he loves Jess. Has he not heard the fake date rape story yet?

Bill and DeeDee make plans to go surfing after school, which Jess fucks up by practically crying at the idea of him not coming over for an impromptu pool party. He blows off DeeDee and then Jess ignores him because Tom shows up. Instead of hating her, Bill sits in the corner, moping about how Jessica could have her pick of any guy and could do a lot better than him.

Liz sees Todd rubbing suntan lotion on Patsy’s back and flips out. She locks herself in her room and refuses to talk to him. Liz distracts herself with a new article, on some guy her dad knows who hires high school students. Sounds like a cheap bastard to me, but whatever. She finds out that Roger works for him, but he freaks out when she suggests writing a story. He says he has to work to support his mom and is worried that people will treat him badly if they know the truth.

Then it turns out that DeeDee’s dad is some huge movie producer. He came to their rehearsal and saw someone with real potential, but he won’t reveal any names because he doesn’t want anyone to get nervous. Instead, he’ll come back with another friend and see if he feels the same. Jessica naturally assumes that she has it in the bag.

So Liz sees Todd hugging Patsy and figures that they’re over, instead of you know, talking to him. Bill finally gets up the nerve to ask Jessica out, but she blows him off because she’s halfway to Hollywood. She even suggests that he take DeeDee.

Bill goes to the beach and sees DeeDee take a tumble on her board. He rushes out to save her and in the middle of mouth to mouth, realizes that he loves her. Despite the fact that they barely talked for the most part, they’re suddenly in love. The play goes off without a hitch, but Jess is pissed when she discovers Bill was picked for a screentest. Five seconds later, she decides that Bill looks really good and tries to get claws into him.

She buts in between them and tells him they should go to the party. DeeDee runs off, but then decides to go to the party with Roger. Todd talks to Liz, tells her nothing is going on and they make up. Jessica starts coming onto Bill, asking him about surfing lessons. He finally blows her off and makes it clear that the only person he’s spending time with now, is DeeDee. Aw.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Sweet Valley High #7: Dear Sister

This was one of the first Sweet Valley High books I ever owned and I have to admit that I read it a bunch of times as a kid. Enough times, that I could probably write the recap even if I hadn’t finished it the other day.

So this book picks up right after Dangerous Love, with Liz in the hospital. Jess goes to see her and plays the woo is me card, constantly crying. She’s five minutes away from a starring role on General Hospital when the doctor shows up and chastises her. He tells her that she needs to talk to Liz like she would if she was alive and maybe it will wake her up.

Liz wakes up from her coma and almost instantly starts acting weird, or you know, like Jessica. She bitches because Jess invited Todd up, she bitches because Jess didn’t goop her up with makeup and she bitches because she brought an un-sexy nightgown. She plays sick when Todd’s around, but then starts flirting with the doctor as soon as he leaves.

Liz gets home and decides she wants to have a party. She doesn’t want to invite any girls and oddly enough, Jess convinces her that it’s a bad idea. Liz then decides that she doesn’t want to see Todd and it’s up to Jessica to blow him off for her.

When Liz finally goes back to school, she picks out some super short miniskirt that her mom bought her. She points out that Jess always wrangled clothes from their parents and that she won’t let her borrow it. They go to school and everyone mistakes Jessica for Liz, mainly because she’s wearing jeans.

The day of their party, Liz calls and says she has an important errand to do. Jess sets up the whole party and finds Liz in the shower. By the time she gets cleaned up and dressed, Liz is outside flirting with all the guys and showing off. At the end of the party, Liz fakes a headache and leaves Jess to clean up.

The twins then learn that the Wakefields are taking care of twin 12-year olds Joan and Jean while their parents are out of town. Ned and Alice leave the same fucking night the girls get into town (they’re all around bad people, aren’t they?). Jessica’s getting ready for a date with Danny, some lecherous pervert and doesn’t realize that Liz skipped out on her own date. She ends up taking the twins with her and of course it goes horribly.

Jessica starts getting pissed off because everyone wants to bitch to her about Liz trying to steal their guy, even Enid. It gets even worse when Liz flirts with Ken Matthews in front of his girlfriend and then makes up a story for the paper about Susan seeing someone else. To make matters worse, she takes a copy of Winston’s big term paper, changes a few things and turns it in under her own name.

At the next game, Todd completely fucks things up. He keeps missing shots and even gets in a minor fight. Liz gets kicked off the paper for making up a story and then gets yelled at by her parents for cheating. They also yell at Jessica, for not telling them Liz was having problems at school. Once again, nice parenting.

Todd comes over, just to mope and wine about Liz to Jessica. Liz comes roaring up, riding on Max Dellon’s bike and Todd freaks out. He grabs her and yanks her off the bike. Ned and Alice wake up early on Saturday morning and realize they can’t take Joan and Jean to some audition. They leave a note for Jessica to do it for them. Seriously, can they be any worse?

Jessica takes them to the audition, hits another car and gets a speeding ticket on the way home, all because she’s late for a date with Danny. She gets to the beach, just in time to find him cozying up to another girl. Even though Liz is grounded, they convince their parents to let her go to some pickup party at Lila’s house. Seriously, there’s a line about how girls who are going steady, find themselves single after one of the parties.

Jess and Liz go in different matador costumes and of course, Liz starts macking on every guy she sees. Liz winds up with Bruce, who thinks she’s Jess at first. She even sneaks some liquor with him in a corner. They run out to his car and he feeds her some wine, but Todd shows up. He drags Liz out and makes her go home.

Bill Chase pops up, mainly to set himself up for the next book. He asks Todd’s permission to ask Liz out and surprisingly, everyone agrees. Unfortunately she also makes plans with Bruce and leaves Jessica to handle Bill. Jess decides just to dress up like her twin.

Apparently Jess hates Bill because she once had a crush on him, but he blew her off when she asked him out. Bill tells her he loves her and she keeps saying he loves her sister. He finally gives her a whole list of reasons why he loves her and she reveals that she’s Jessica.

Bruce and Liz go to his beach house, where they make out for awhile. He touches her breast, which means he got to second base with both twins. He leaves her in the bedroom so he can get some more alcohol, because why would you want to have sex sober? Plus it’s easier to slip roofies in her drink if she’s not around.

Liz trips, hits her head and suddenly comes back, conveniently not remembering anything since her coma. She fights with Bruce, who basically tries to force her into having sex. Before running off, she tells him that she’ll tell everyone what he did to her if he says anything. She runs outside, runs into Todd and he knows as soon as he looks in her eyes that it’s his Liz. They wander off into the sunset and I wonder why I loved this book so much…