Saturday, March 3, 2012

Jessica Wakefield is a Mother??

I don't know if any of you are staying up to date with the world of Sweet Valley, but I came across something today that made me stop in my tracks. Pascal is going ahead with her plan to release six short serial books set after the horrible events in Sweet Valley Confidential. The first in the series The Sweet Life #1 comes out in May.

According to the short synopsis available online, the books pick up three years after Sweet Valley Confidential ended. Liz is now an ace reporter (natch), Jessica is a huge success in the PR world (of course), and naturally the twins are now best friends again. The synopsis says something to the effect that Jessica does not find motherhood as easy as she thought.

Are you kidding me with this crap? Is Pascal writing stuff because she wants to see our heads expose? Look, we all expected something completely different from Sweet Valley Confidential. I know that a lot of us thought if she actually did the serials, she would try to make up for that. Now I'm thinking that she decided to write a new book and figured, "what the heck? I'll just make the two main characters twins and pretend that this is about Jessica and Elizabeth."

Everything we loved about the original books was lacking from Sweet Valley Confidential, including the facts of the books. I'm not going to go off on another tangent about everything she got wrong again. But, we grew up with those characters. Seeing them become adults in The Sweet Life #1 is kind of icky. Do we really need to hear Jessica whine about how she has stretchmarks, Todd doesn't want to have sex with her anymore, and she's tired of lactating?

Plus, does anyone really see Jessica as a mother? This is the girl that hated kids, never took responsibility for anything, and lied repeatedly. Then again, she did marry the guy she framed for date rape as a teenager! I guess he knew what he was getting into with her. I wish that Pascal let one of her long-term ghostwriters work on Sweet Valley Confidential, or better yet, released a completely snarky version of the twins as adults.

I can't be the only person that wanted to see Jessica moping around, trying to make it as a star in Hollywood or Liz struggling as a screenwriter. I wanted some crazy story where werewolves burst onto the movie set, took Jess hostage, and Liz had to impersonate her. Then a vampire attacked the werewolf and the werewolf turned out to be Sam Woodruff in disguise. Then Lila and Bruce swept into town on their private jet and threw a reunion pool party at SVH where Roger announced that he was marrying Olivia, who came back from the dead.

*Sigh*

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Friends Forever #12: Claudia and the Disaster Date


Claudia and Alan Gray finally go out on a date. She actually has fun with him, but keeps looking around because she thinks someone might see them together. He brings her napkins for her popcorn so she won’t mess up her jeans, and acts really thoughtful. She won’t let him walk her home though because she’s worried the other members of the BSC might see them.

They ask her a bunch of questions about where she was and she keeps changing the subject. After the meeting, she admits to Stacey that she went out with Alan. It doesn’t help that Kristy keeps bringing up new stories about stupid stuff he did in the past.

Claudia took a job working at the library with Erica. She asks her mom about possibly updating the mural in the children’s room and her mom blows her off. She then mentions it to the head of the children’s department, who thinks that it is a great idea and lets her do it. The event turns into a disaster. The librarian lets the kids get involved, and they go crazy throwing paint everywhere. Her mom interrupts the event and helps them clean up. Then she tells Claudia that she was hired for one job and the mural is on hold.

Alan and Kristy both come into the library at the same time. They get into a fight over Claudia and Alan leaves. Kristy throws a fit at the meeting, and Claudia admits that they are dating. Kristy gets even more pissed off, until Dawn points out that she dated him too. Since everyone keeps talking about his bad points, Claudia starts second guessing herself.

When they go out again, she feels uncomfortable. She can’t figure out what to say to him and just feels awkward. Alan picks up on it, but pretends like he doesn’t notice. Claudia decides that the best way to make everyone get along is with a group date. Alan brings Pete, Cary and a few other guys. Cary puts everyone into twosomes to hit the miniature golf course and pairs Alan with Kristy. Kristy keeps trying to get him to do something stupid, but he acts normal. That pisses her off even more because she doesn’t want to be wrong.

Alan comes back to the library and she takes him downstairs to the old part of the library. Alan starts to make a joke, but changes his mind at the last second. Claudia encourages him to act like he did before, but he’s worried that she won’t like him anymore. She tells him that he just needs to find a balance between the old Alan and the new Alan.

At the end of the book, Claudia and Alan invite all of their friends over to a picnic at her house. Everyone brings something to share and they have fun together. Alan lets some of his dorky/funny side out and they all seem to like him. Alan tells her that while he likes dating the BSC, he really wants just Claudia to be his girlfriend. She calls him her boyfriend and they walk off holding hands.

*Dawn is back and it’s summer time because they mention that most of their clients are on vacation. Yet the next book takes place on Graduation Day and Claudia has yet to go on a date with Alan.

*A lot of people say that Mrs. Kishi is a bitch in this book, but I see her point. Claudia is supposed to do stuff in the children’s room like filing and arranging books. She goes behind her mom’s back to get permission to update the mural, and then makes a huge mess. The library probably had money in the budget to get help for the children’s room, but not to update the mural. The mural is probably the last thing on her mind with all the kids coming in for books in the summer.

*Claudia passes out chips, mixed nuts and cheese filled pretzels. Dawn grudgingly eats the pretzels, but claims they are still junk food. Stacey eats the pretzels too, but given how strict her diet is supposed to be, that doesn’t seem like a healthy choice.

*Claudia wears blue socks folded down over tennis shoes and a tie dyed shirt. Sometimes I wonder if she is color blind?

*Does anyone else think it’s weird that Kristy went to dances and parties with Alan in the early books, but hated him with a passion in the later books?

*Kristy is such a brat in this book! She keeps arguing that Alan is a horrible person and won’t listen to anyone when they try to change her mind.