Saturday, March 3, 2012

Jessica Wakefield is a Mother??

I don't know if any of you are staying up to date with the world of Sweet Valley, but I came across something today that made me stop in my tracks. Pascal is going ahead with her plan to release six short serial books set after the horrible events in Sweet Valley Confidential. The first in the series The Sweet Life #1 comes out in May.

According to the short synopsis available online, the books pick up three years after Sweet Valley Confidential ended. Liz is now an ace reporter (natch), Jessica is a huge success in the PR world (of course), and naturally the twins are now best friends again. The synopsis says something to the effect that Jessica does not find motherhood as easy as she thought.

Are you kidding me with this crap? Is Pascal writing stuff because she wants to see our heads expose? Look, we all expected something completely different from Sweet Valley Confidential. I know that a lot of us thought if she actually did the serials, she would try to make up for that. Now I'm thinking that she decided to write a new book and figured, "what the heck? I'll just make the two main characters twins and pretend that this is about Jessica and Elizabeth."

Everything we loved about the original books was lacking from Sweet Valley Confidential, including the facts of the books. I'm not going to go off on another tangent about everything she got wrong again. But, we grew up with those characters. Seeing them become adults in The Sweet Life #1 is kind of icky. Do we really need to hear Jessica whine about how she has stretchmarks, Todd doesn't want to have sex with her anymore, and she's tired of lactating?

Plus, does anyone really see Jessica as a mother? This is the girl that hated kids, never took responsibility for anything, and lied repeatedly. Then again, she did marry the guy she framed for date rape as a teenager! I guess he knew what he was getting into with her. I wish that Pascal let one of her long-term ghostwriters work on Sweet Valley Confidential, or better yet, released a completely snarky version of the twins as adults.

I can't be the only person that wanted to see Jessica moping around, trying to make it as a star in Hollywood or Liz struggling as a screenwriter. I wanted some crazy story where werewolves burst onto the movie set, took Jess hostage, and Liz had to impersonate her. Then a vampire attacked the werewolf and the werewolf turned out to be Sam Woodruff in disguise. Then Lila and Bruce swept into town on their private jet and threw a reunion pool party at SVH where Roger announced that he was marrying Olivia, who came back from the dead.

*Sigh*

2 comments:

  1. That sounds like a fab book.
    I'm going to buy the eserial, only because each are the price of a cup of coffee and I'm not tramatised as alot of the other fans of SV, by what FP did in SVC.
    I think it's intersting the synopis does not mention Todd.I know wishful thinking on my part, but I hope FP killed off Todd,it was Bruces fault and that's the big drama between Bruce & Elizabeth.
    Also I want them married, because they have known each other for ever, and it would be pathic if after 3 years together they are not married, he's 32 and She's 30.

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  2. I'm not logged into my account (Jenn here LOL), but apparently Todd is in the book. Jessica is still married and can't figure out how to be a working woman, wife and mother all at the same time. Apparently there's a Bruce/Liz story where some scandal might break them up. Maybe one of the other reporters breaks the news that he once tried to rape her...

    Oh and Lila is a reality TV star. Given her description in SVC, I assume she's one some Real Housewives type show. Hopefully FP returns her to the original Lila and not the bland version in SVC.

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