Saturday, December 19, 2009

Sweet Valley University #6: The Love of Her Life

Fair warning: I came dangerously close to throwing this book out the window by the time I got to the last 20 or so pages!

Mike’s in the hospital and Steven is in jail, charged with attempted murder and felon assault. Jess stays with Billie until she realizes that Billie will be up all night just trying to find Steven a lawyer. Liz hears about the incident on the police scanner in Tom’s room when they’re talking about the secret society story and she rushes over to help.

Everyone else in the book seems pretty happy. Danny and Isabella are all in love and Winston and Denise are in love, but he’s irritated because everyone assumes that they’re sleeping together. Todd learns that he has to sit out a season of basketball and move out of the athletic dorm, but he can play again next year and keep practicing with the team. His buddy Mark, Alex/Enid’s boyfriend doesn’t get off as easy because he got money and a new car. The school drops his scholarship, expels him and tells him that they’ll block him from playing for any other school. He breaks things off with Alex and heads to LA where he has an audition for a pro team.

Liz and Tom keep working on the story, but every time they turn around, William and Celine are there. She even comes home one day and finds Celine wearing lingerie and hanging out with Celine about five minutes after they finished having sex. He tries to get her back, but she tells him that she knows the truth. There must be something about Liz though because Todd wants her back too. He dumps Lauren and sits around his room, moping over old pictures of her and thinking about how he never should have ended things with Liz.

The book is really about Jess and how she’s a completely spoiled brat who I want to smack in the face. About, oh say three minutes after Mike is rushed to the hospital, she realizes that she wants to breakup with him. Then she learns that he’ll never walk again and decides that they never should have gotten married because she just wants to be a regular college student. Hey guess what, why didn’t you think about that before you got married?

She runs back to her old dorm room and cries to Isabella. She even talks about the two of them going on a double date when she gets back. It’s really annoying because she doesn’t even think about Steven, until he’s released on bond and even then, she just worries about herself. She packs up all of her stuff and starts moving it back, but then Mike’s mom calls. He’s been coming in and out of consciousness and keeps asking for her. She slams down the phone and tells her that she doesn’t want to see him.

She goes right back into planning her own life. She’s talking about all the phone she’ll have in college, hanging out in the dorm, going to parties, dating and trying to get into the sorority. Jessica has always been really selfish and horrible, but this goes a little too far. She finally decides to visit him in the hospital and she sees his leg move a little.

This is when I started wanting to toss the book. She decides that being married was a choice and that she chose to stay with him no matter what, after spending 170+ pages talking about leaving. She’s not attracted to him anymore because he’s all pale and weak looking, but it’s her “duty” as a wife to stay with him. She tells him that and he thinks they should stay together because they love her.

Elizabeth tells Celine that her story will air the next day so she runs and tells William. That same night the secret society kidnaps Liz (her 700th kidnapping). She tells them that it won’t matter because she already filmed the story and the tape will air. They don’t believe her, until it shows up on television. William decides that he has to kill her and Celine sees something in his face that scares the crap out of her so she runs to call Tom.

Todd stops by Liz’s room and sees her door all busted in, but doesn’t find that odd! He just leaves a note and walks off to talk to Winston. He goes back the next day and it finally clicks in when he sees the note still there. He runs off to find Liz at the same time that Tom does.

Tom and the cops go to the frat house and he leads them to the secret room in the house. The cops bust in and start arresting people and Peter the ass, throws himself at their feet. He was a big wuss who didn’t want to hurt anyone. Tom sees William dragging Liz off and gives chase, with Celine right behind. Of course he manages to save her and William falls in some hole thing, but Tom saves him too. Celine tries to sneak off and the cops grab her.

Liz makes plans to see Tom later, but then runs into Todd. He tells her that he still loves her, doesn’t care about Tom and wants them to get back together. She realizes that they’re in “their” spot from earlier in the year and remembers all the promises he made to her there and then broke so she turns him down.

Jess goes back to see Mike and he tells her that he changed his mind. He says that she deserves the chance to be a regular college student and do what the kids do. He should have told her that he deserved the chance to marry a grownup. He tells her that it’s not fair for her to be stuck with him for every. He also agrees to testify in court that the accident was his fault.

Cut to the court and the judge asking Steven how he pleads. His lawyer tells the judge what Mike says, but Mike says it isn’t true. Jess makes a scene and they throw her out of court. She starts yelling at Mike to tell the truth, because hurting Steve won’t win her back. Mike gives in, takes responsibility and they throw the case out of court. He tells her one last time that he loves her before he leaves.

Tom shows up at the dorm and sees Liz. They talk about the society and everything that happened and he confesses that he was worried about her and didn’t know what he’d do without her. Then he quotes a line from that damn poem and she realizes that he wrote it. They start kissing and then confess that they’re in love.

Oh my fucking god am I glad this book is over. First of all, all this shit happens and somehow their parents don’t know about it. Then Steve is charged with attempted murder and assault, but gets out of jail? Plus where did Billie get bail money in the middle of the night? Then the whole thing with Mike! He went from a drunken, dominating asshole to the perfect guy…almost in the same book. Not to mention the whole thing with Jess and her duty. It pissed me off even more when I realized that by the next book, she’ll be dating someone new…

Friday, December 18, 2009

Sweet Valley University #5: A Married Woman

Jess still refuses to leave Mike, even though Liz spent the night with her just in case he came back, which he never did. She basically blows off the whole night before, saying that they just need to work on their marriage and invest more time if they want to make it work. She also quits her job because her boss won’t let her call in sick again (apparently she’s been doing that a lot so she can spend time with Mike). He shows up after Liz leaves, ask for forgiveness and they make up yet again.

Denise poses as Winston’s girlfriend for his dad and she does such a good job of it that Winston starts to believe that it’s true. Danny and Isabella are now dating and Tom feels like a third wheel every time he’s around them. Alex and Mark are having problems because he’s looking forward to seeing how his life will turn out away from SVU and he has no intention of bringing her with him when he goes to the pros.

Liz comes up with a “brilliant” idea and discovers that Mike is actually the leader of the secret society. Everyone seems to believe her except for Tom and Billie. Billie thinks it’s too big of a stretch, but Tom actually likes Mike. He remembers a night when he was still a top football player and saw a bunch of frat guys (including Peter the ass and William White) beating up on a restaurant worker. Mike broke it up, took the guy inside and never said a word.

Jess asks Liz to come over for dinner at their apartment and tells her to bring a date. Since Tom likes Mike so much, she invites him along. Jess goes all crazy trying to plan a big dinner party and escapes to Isabella’s for a few hours under the pretense of studying and instead gossips the whole time.

She starts cooking on the day and screws everything up. She can’t find half the ingredients she needs, the house hasn’t been cleaned in awhile and she burns dinner. Mike finds her crying on the floor and decides to order in Mexican food, which they fake as homemade. Apparently Tom and Liz aren’t that smart. Mike and Tom hit it off, spending the whole night talking about jazz music. Liz starts to feel bad because Mike is such a good person after all.

Steven follows Mike around town one day, convinced that he’ll find him cheating, but instead runs into Mike. Mike acts nice and invites him to dinner, but Steve freaks out on him. Steve basically does nothing except talk about Mike and what a loser he is. Then he runs into Mike and Jess and they have another confrontation.

Basically they both act like dicks. Steven pulls out the whole, “stay away from my little sister” routine and Mike turns her into his property. He actually says, “she’s not your sister, she’s my wife”. Yeah, because you can only be one or the other. He demands that Jess back him up, but she runs off crying instead. Steve spends the rest of the night talking about how it can’t possibly be true. Of course they make up yet again when Mike comes home drunk from the bar.

There’s a big dance at school, which is odd because they had one the week before and this isn’t Sweet Valley High. Liz and William, Danny and Isabella, Tom and Celine and Winston and Denise all head out to the dance. Jess was supposed to go, but Mike didn’t want to so she decides to stay home with him instead. She cooks him a special dinner and then sits at home, waiting for him. She cleans up the apartment and finds a hidden gun, but basically just ignores it.

Liz lets William convince her that Tom is caught up in the secret society. He kind of is because it turns out that he was a member during his freshman year when he was a BMOC, but then dropped out when he learned that everyone was racist. There’s also a whole thing about how this is an underground society with connections all across the country. Look, SVU isn’t Harvard or even a Big 10 school so I highly doubt it has that much influence.

Anyway, she decides that Tom and Mike are the leaders and she can’t be around him anymore. She leaves the dance with William and goes back to his apartment. The two are making out on the couch when she realizes that he’s going to want sex and asks to use the bathroom. She looks at his bookshelf, spots an odd book and when she pulls it off the shelf, a bookmark with the society’s emblem falls out.

Jess decides to leave Mike because she’s tired of her life. Just as she’s walking out the door, he shows up and picks a fight with her. He actually says some pretty truthful stuff, about her being a spoiled brat who doesn’t understand real love and how she’s just like the snobby sorority girls. He also tells her that she treated him like a toy, something to play with until she got bored, which is pretty much all she ever does.

He starts tossing stuff around the room, they fight some more and she ends up cracking a lamp over his head before running up to Steven and Billie’s apartment. She confesses their marriage to them and Steve freaks out yet again. They’re all talking about the situation when Mike starts banging on the door.

Billie calls 911, but she begs them not to let him inside. She promises not to, but then Steve runs to the door so Mike can fight with “someone your own size”. Jess tries to tell them that Mike has a gun, but he runs in waving it around first. He and Steven start fighting and the gun goes off…

I am so freaking sick of the whole Jess/Mike thing. Thankfully we’ve only got another book or two until it ends. Plus these storylines go on forever! How long does it take for anything to happen with these people?