Thursday, December 20, 2012

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition: Jessica’s No Angel


Janet breaks up with Denny because he told her he had to meet with his science teacher and then she saw him playing basketball. She becomes outspoken against liars, and she demands that the rest of the club sign a pledge to stop people from lying. They want the principal to make people wear a really ugly shirt if they get caught lying. Jessica doesn’t really want to sign it because she constantly tells lies, but she eventually gives into peer pressure.

Since it’s now the fifteenth summer break, the school is getting ready for a huge picnic celebration. A bunch of the Unicorns get dates, and Janet tells Lila and Jessica that since they don’t have dates, they have to spend the whole day with her. They make a bet that whoever gets a date first will get the day off, while the other has to hang around queen Janet.

Jessica is sure that Aaron will ask her, but he starts dragging his feet. She does beg her parents to give them extra money for a special picnic outfit, and they agree as long as she gets a B or higher on her math test. Unfortunately, she bombs the section on the metric unit, which brings her down to a C. The teacher tells her that if she walks his dog Sparky, takes a bunch of measurements and converts them to metric, he will raise her grade. She does it and runs into Denny who doesn’t seem too upset over his breakup.

Lila wants to impress Bruce and get a date for the picnic so she gets a perm. People start calling her names behind her back, but Jessica lies and tells her it looks good. After getting the money from her parents, she buys a new outfit and wears it to meet Aaron for ice cream. She runs into Bruce who asks her to the picnic because Lila looks so weird and she agrees. Then she runs into Aaron who also asks her to the dance and she says yes to him too.

Jessica tells Elizabeth what happened, and her twin gets pissed. They have a fight over lying and Elizabeth says that she never lies and storms off. Jessica makes a wish on a falling star that her twin would understand the importance of lying. The next day, Elizabeth feels the need to constantly tell the truth. She tells her mom that her food is dry, tells her teacher that he picked a boring topic for the upcoming essay contest, and tells the truth to everyone else. She tells Bruce that Jessica had two dates, tells Lila that people call her octopus head, and tells Aaron that Jessica made two dates and that she hates his shirt.

Lila screams and stops talking to her, Bruce breaks their date, and Aaron breaks up with her. She gets frustrated and makes another wish that her twin would cut it out. Suddenly, Elizabeth lies about everything. She thinks that the toast tastes delicious even though its days old, tells her teacher that she loves the essay but that their new puppy ate her rough draft, and acts like Jessica is the best sister in the world. She tells Lila that Jessica wants to be just like her and she tells Aaron that Jessica never had a date with Bruce though he did ask her.

While all this is going on, Jessica screws things up for Janet. She tells Denny that Janet is heartbroken over losing him, and she tells Janet that Denny was crying over her even though it was just allergies. He hangs out with her a little and meets Sparky who it turns out loves crumb cake from his favorite store. She schemes to get them back together, but Elizabeth almost ruins it by telling them the truth. Then she turns around and says that Jessica thinks of Janet like an older sister and was willing to sacrifice herself to get them back together.

Jessica makes another wish and Elizabeth goes back to normal. Lila shows up and takes her to a fancy spa for a makeover, only she has the guy give Jessica a perm and puts her hair back to normal. She does it because Elizabeth told her how much Jessica wanted to have the same look. While going home, she sees Sparky running around in the storm and tries to help him.

He runs into a garage and it’s Denny’s house. Denny tries to get the dog out from under his mom’s car, and the dog refuses to budge. They ride bikes over to the bakery and run into Janet who sees them and rushes off. They try to buy a cake, but she bought the last one. When they go outside, she gives them the cake, which has a note on top to Denny. She thought they were on a date, but he explains everything and they get back together.

They manage to help Sparky and get him home, but she gets back and her parents ground her for a month for sneaking out. The next day, they come home early and tell her that her teacher called them in for a conference and explained everything. Oh, and because of a mixup with his grading key, she really did get a B on her test after all. Then Elizabeth wins the essay contest by writing something about the trouble with lying.

*After all that talk about wearing something special, Jessica winds up wearing jean shorts and a white tee shirt to the picnic. Ooh, fancy.

*According to Elizabeth, the only time that she ever lies is when she needs to get Jessica out of trouble. How quickly she forgets every other book in this series!

*I think it’s funny that the Unicorns are so anti-lying when they constantly tell lies to each other.

*Jessica’s perm washes out because she spends the night running around in the rain, which I knew would happen because I saw Legally Blond LOL.

*Jessica gets grounded early on because she “lied” about getting a B on her test, which totally isn’t true. Doing extra credit work is no different than answering extra credit questions on a test.

*Elizabeth is one of the first people to get a date to the picnic. When Todd asks her, she thinks about how she wouldn’t go with anyone else. Yeah right.

Monday, December 17, 2012

Sweet Valley Twins #42: Jessica’s Secret


Jessica is playing with her hair trying to make herself look more mature when Elizabeth walks in with a big smile on her face. After hinting around for a few minutes, she finally says that she started her period, and because they’re twins, she knows that Jessica started too. Jessica seems a little quiet, and she wonders if her twin is having problems adjusting. They head downstairs to tell their mom, and she’s so excited that she agrees to make anything they want. Over spaghetti and meatballs, garlic bread, and cream puffs, she and Ned gush over how group up they are.

The next day, Jessica tells Elizabeth that they should ask their parents to go to San Diego and visit their cousin Robin. Her family spent a year living in France, and their parents wouldn’t let them see her before she left because they were too young. Jessica keeps dropping hints at dinner and kicking Elizabeth to get her attention until Ned finally announces that they already talked things over and decided to let them go.

Elizabeth has a crisis in school and freaks out because she doesn’t have any supplies. She asks Jessica for help, and she runs off in a panic. After locking herself in the bathroom, she starts crying because she didn’t get her period. Then, she wonders who else has their period and thinks Lila and Ellen both did but kept it a secret from her. That doesn’t stop her from wanting to go shopping for their trip.

Jessica has no money because she spent it all on a new album, but Elizabeth has a little. They spend an entire day shopping and after Liz picks out a new shirt, Jessica picks out an entire outfit. They barely have enough for it all, but Jessica pouts until Elizabeth gives in and blows her money on Jess’s new outfit. The Unicorns think her new shirt looks like something a little kid would wear. When she stops to ask Jessica a question, she tells her twin off in front of everyone about her baby-ish clothing. It actually makes her cry, and she tries to talk to Alice who just tells her that this is a difficult time for both of them. Nice parenting.

Jessica pretty much forgets about the argument, but Elizabeth is still a little upset. Jessica also keeps complaining about all the stuff Elizabeth wants to do like visit the zoo and tell ghost stories because all of that is stuff little kids do. She thinks Robin will be much more mature now and that they can find other things to do. Robin is a little more mature, and she grew up so much that they barely recognize her when they see her.

Robin ends up having a room exactly like Jessica and she dresses in all black. She talks about the Jaguars, the exclusive club that just asked her to join once she passes their initiation. She also shows them a picture of her high school boyfriend Johnny who has his own red convertible. She and Jessica start palling around and kind of ignoring Elizabeth. It doesn’t help when her little sister Stacey takes them all to the zoo for her birthday, which they think is completely beneath them.

Robin’s parents give her permission to have a slumber party as long as she invites Becky. They were once really good friends, but she blew her off for her new club. Jessica also turns into a little Robin. When their cousin says she hates Johnny Buck, she suddenly does too, and when the girl says she smokes, Jessica says she does too. They call Elizabeth a baby, and she locks herself into the bathroom and cries.

The girls show up for the party, but they seem really snobby and bitchy. They didn’t bring any clothes or sleeping bags because they plan to use the night for her initiation. She has to go over to Johnny’s house and get him to drive her to a nearby park by midnight. Becky shows up, but she and Elizabeth refuse to go with them, which leads to everyone calling them babies as they leave.

Jessica thinks it’s weird that her cousin is so nervous until the other girl admits that she doesn’t even know Johnny. They sneak into one house and a dog comes after them, but the owner finds them outside and reveals that they were in the wrong house. Elizabeth and Becky decide to play a game and then tell the adults what happened if the other girls aren’t back. Elizabeth keeps freaking out and Becky tries to warn her because they are standing behind her.

Jessica and Robin come home with her parents, and Elizabeth tries to apologize. Jessica pretty much verbally bitch slaps her about how she’s a huge baby and everyone hates her. She ends up sleeping downstairs with Becky. The next day, which is their last day in town, the adults announce that they are calling the parents of every girl and telling them what happened, and Robin gets grounded for one month but she does agree to call Becky and apologize.

On the bus ride home, Jessica refuses to speak to her twin. Elizabeth has to wake her up so they can change buses, and she gets bored of waiting for the driver so she goes for a drink. Since her stomach is bothering her, she gets a ginger ale. Elizabeth tries to warn her that the driver won’t wait, and they bus takes off without her. She starts whining and then Liz pops up behind her. She got so worried about her twin that she went to track her down.

After a day of the silent treatment, Jessica finally admits what happened. They went to the park alone, and the Jaguars gave Robin another task. She had to go back to her house and cut off all of Becky’s hair while she was asleep. She refused and her parents pulled up right then. Jessica also tells her that she never started her period and Elizabeth feels bad for talking about it all the time. Jessica goes to the bathroom and learns that she started her period, so things are okay again between them.

*Why would you tell your kids that they could go on a four-day trip before asking anyone? They give the twins permission without even talking to their aunt.

*Um yeah, I’m not sending my 13-year-old kids off on a bus trip on their own. Besides that, Jessica constantly shows that she has no maturity whatsoever.

*Getting your period does not make a you a “woman” despite what Ned and Alice say. Given that Jessica gets in trouble every book, they should really know better.

*For someone who is supposedly so smart, Elizabeth sure is dumb in this book. Does she really not understand that twins don’t get their periods at the same time?

*They go shopping for pads and get embarrassed when the cashier does a price check in front of everyone, including Todd who Jessica has a crush on in this book.

*This is actually one of those books when I said, “I want to punch that bitch in the throat” in regards to Jessica. How did I ever read these books as a kid? She is such a selfish little bitch that it kills me. Elizabeth spends all of her money on a new outfit for her and gets repaid by being called a baby. The rest of the book is just gravy after that.

*Did anyone’s parents make such a big deal out of starting your period? I’m pretty sure my dad didn’t even know for like a year, and my mom just took me shopping for what I needed.

*The Jaguars all wear custom silver ID bracelets, which actually sound a lot cooler than the whole purple clothing thing.