Sweet Valley University #46: I’ll Never Love Again

Let’s get some of the boring stuff out of the way before I go off on another rant about Jessica. First Tom does a story about how women have all the sexual power and goes on and on about how women can do whatever they want, but guys can’t. He basically lets out all his frustration on Liz and says that women can say no, get upset when a guy wants different things and expect the guy to hold on forever. He turns into a pariah with all the girls on campus hating him and he gets in trouble at the station.

Danny keeps moping over Isabella because she’s the big love of his life. He decides to fly to Switzerland and win her back, but stops because it’s too expensive. Let that sink in for a minute: he spends the whole book moaning over her, but then won’t get off his ass and fly to see her because he doesn’t want to pay so much for a ticket. He and Tom go out drinking, he gets drunk and Tom has to save him when he accosts some girl who vaguely looks like Isabella.

Todd can’t stop thinking about Dana, but then doesn’t call her after their date. He decides that if she likes him, she’ll call and then keeps saying stupid shit when he does see her. They finally go out again and end up kissing and Dana confesses that she’s in love with him. Apparently it’s okay though because he loves her too! Yay and after only two dates!

Liz has a confrontation with Tom after his story airs and he calls her a frigid old maid, which sends her into a tailspin. She runs off and something happens to the Jeep so it gets towed to a mechanic. She starts checking out the guy working on the car and *gasp* it’s Mike McAllery. Yay, I was starting to miss him! He asks about Jess, she tells him the truth and they decide to work together and help her.

First though she arranges a barbeque at the Theta house, to celebrate Jessica *gasp* actually doing a paper for school. Basically Liz rides Jess for a week about some huge paper and cracks the whip over her about it. Then she reads the paper and realizes that Jess plagiarized part of the paper, but gets distracted and forgets about it. They have the dinner, but Jess shows up all confused and dressed funny, so no one knows what to do. Lila suggests they go to a spa together, but Jess doesn’t want to. Alison shows up, acts like a bitch and Jess just goes home.

Mike and Liz arrange for Jess to have a picnic with them. Jess thinks Mike is Nick because she sees him from the back and then gets pissed off when she sees him. She mopes all through dinner and when he tries to get her to go for a walk, she throws a fit and storms off. Liz and Mike start bonding and end up kissing. Ooh, I kind of like this!

So Jessica walks into a drugstore and buys a bottle of sleeping pills. The dark figure follows her home and watches her get ready to take the pills and throws a brick through the window. Good aim too, since the room is on the second floor. Jessica remembers making a promise to Nick that she’d live on as a reminder of their love. Liz finds the pills, but Jessica won’t even talk to her.

Jessica then gets a phone call from Alison, telling her that the Thetas voted and she’s kicked out. Then her professor calls and she has to go to a disciplinary hearing because she plagiarized her paper. Her clock gets unplugged, which may be Liz’s fault because she tripped over it, but then it takes her an HOUR to realize it. She’s late to her hearing and gets the letter a few hours later that she’s been expelled from school.

Liz sees Mike yet again and they end up kissing, but she pushes him away because of her sister. Liz then finds the letter and confronts Jessica, but she doesn’t care because her life is totally, totally over and she has nothing to live for. They have a huge fight and go storming outside together. Jessica says she doesn’t care about anything, doesn’t want Liz’s help anymore and doesn’t even want her as a sister.

The figure watches in the shadows and decides to go after Jessica, but Liz sees him and he runs off. Jess realizes that he looks familiar, but blows it off. Liz thinks that she should stick around and watch after her sister, but then runs off to see Mike. She decides that anything goes now and she can do whatever with her twin’s ex…

Ok, where do I start? First of all, Jessica refuses to even talk to Mike, who she was fucking married to. This isn’t a huge span of time people, it’s been like six months since they were married! She was probably even with him longer than Nick! I’m also really annoyed at Liz. At one point she decides to call their parents, but then forgets about it.

Hold the phone: no one told Ned and Alice that Jessica is suicidal and crazy? Plus I’m sure that the school knows about Nick, so why aren’t they doing anything? If nothing else, they should make sure she’s in therapy. Then there’s the “figure” following her, which we know is Nick. Why the fuck didn’t he call someone when he saw Jess contemplating suicide? Oh yeah, he totally loves her.