SWEET VALLEY HIGH #54: TWO-BOY WEEKEND

They really should have titled this book, “Jessica is a Huge Slut”.

Unlike other books in the Sweet Valley High series, this one doesn’t have much of a secondary story because it almost entirely centers on Jessica. The basic plot is that Jessica acts like a spoiled brat, lies, gets caught and all is forgiven, but that’s getting too far ahead in the story.

Two-Boy Weekend picks up with Jessica learning that her boyfriend AJ is going out of town for FOUR whole days because his grandparents are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. Poor old Jess mopes because it means she won’t have a date for Ken’s party and AJ goes overboard, trying to make her feel better. Five seconds later she whines to Liz that they’re stuck in a rut and spend too much time together before crying that he’s going away for the week. Liz points out the hypocrisy before saying they’ll probably be better off not being around each other for a few days.

Once AJ leaves, Jess turns to her friends for support, practically forcing them to make her the center of attention and take her to the beach. Then she pouts some more and they leave her ass at the beach (I’ve never loved Cara, Lila and Amy as much as I do right now). She ends up watching a cute surfer and the two of them flirt before she agrees to meet him for dinner.

After a “magical” night, she agrees to spend Saturday with him and then part of Sunday, right up until AJ gets home. Every so often she stops and thinks about AJ and realizes that she’s being a horrible bitch, but then makes herself feel better. She even lets Liz think that her new friend Chris is a girl. She eventually tells Chris the truth and he acts fine with everything so she runs off and welcomes her boyfriend home.

But Chris isn’t done, of course not because who could resist a blonde from Sweet Valley? He starts calling all of the time, even when she’s out with AJ and calls up AJ, pretending to be someone who wants to buy his car. Chris and Jess end up alone in the car together and he drives like a maniac, threatening to smash the car into a shopping mall unless she goes out with him on Saturday.

Uh-oh though, Saturday is when AJ gives a big speech and is named King, which makes her the Queen and Jess won’t give that up. Eventually she confesses to Liz, who realizes that her twin cares more about being the queen and the center of attention than AJ. The night of the dance/speech, Jess lies to Chris about being sick and heads off with AJ. Liz though is dancing with Jeffery when they’re interrupted by Chris who thinks she’s Jess. She decides to play along so Jess gets her 900th moment in the spotlight and goes off with him, but he grabs her and shoves her in the trunk.

Jess gets a feeling that Liz is in trouble and runs outside with Jeffery where they confront Chris and save Liz. She makes it back to the dance just in time to get her crown, but decides she doesn’t deserve it. AJ asks if they’re breaking up and when she doesn’t say anything, he breaks down. Then he decides that she should have the crown anyway because it represents all they shared…Loser.

LESSONS LEARNED:

If you’re a Sweet Valley twin, you can cheat on your boyfriend without any repercussions.

Being a twin means that you always know when and exactly where your other half is in trouble.

Sitting alone on a beach means that you’ll meet a hot guy.