Point Horror: Hit and Run (R.L. Stine)

Cassie is your typical 16 year old girl who has three best friends, all of them guys. Scott is her secret crush, but she’s too afraid to say anything or anything about it. There’s Wink who’s pretty much an asshole and Eddie who everyone picks on. Winks gets a human eyeball from Eddie’s cousin Jerry, who works in a morgue and apparently also thinks it’s funny to pick on him. Eddie gets all freaked out and runs off.

A few days later the gang decides to take Scott’s dad’s car for a long drive. None of them have a license, but they figure it’s good practice. Wink screams about seeing something in the road when it’s Eddie’s turn behind the wheel, but there’s nothing actually there and they all get a big laugh out of it.

After a few more days, they all go back out for another drive. This time they hit someone. The whole gang runs out to see what happened and find the man laying in the road. Eddie digs out his wallet and learn that his name was Brett Tinker. After a long fight, they decide to leave the body there and get the hell out because hey, that’s what teenagers do I guess.

Cassie starts worrying about what they did and keeps reading the newspaper, but the accident is never reported. She talks to Scott and he blows the whole thing off, though he does kiss her, which helps take her mind off things. She runs into Eddie in school and he’s so upset over what happened that he skips class.

Then Cassie gets a threatening phone call and Eddie and Wink get the same one. She and Eddie hang out and she forces him to ask his cousin about the guy, but he blows her off. They keep getting phone calls and notes left at their house, all claiming to know what they did. Then Wink is on his way to her house and is struck by a driver who runs off. Gasp, a hit and run!

Cassie and Eddie visit his cousin at the morgue and he laughs about the whole dead body thing. Then he learns about Wink and tries to talk to Eddie, but Eddie suddenly feels sick and forces Cassie to leave. She thinks it’s a little odd, but goes with the flow.

Cassie visits the hospital and speaks to Wink’s mom, but the doctors don’t think he’s going to make it. She tries to make plans with Scott and he’s too sick to leave his house. She keeps getting freaked out and eventually turns to Eddie because he’s the only one who will talk to her. After she gets her license, he suggests they go for a drive. At first she turns him down, but then he begs because his mom said he could have the car if Cassie took him out.

They head off and Eddie decides that he wants to go down the same road where they hit the guy. She doesn’t want to, but he goes that way anyway. They hear a noise, which turns out to be a flat tire and Eddie freaks out when she tries to get in the trunk and find the spare tire. Turns out that their driver’s ed classes taught them how to change a tire. Um, they never did that in my classes…

Cassie eventually gets in the trunk and discovers the decomposing body. The two start fighting and he attacks her so she takes off running. A car comes out of nowhere and she fantasizes that it hit and killed her at the same spot where they killed the guy. Really though the car comes to a stop and Jerry and Scott run out.

It turns out that Eddie and Jerry set the whole thing up to get back at the people who were so mean to Eddie. Jerry hung out with the body until he saw their car and then threw the body out in front. The guy was a homeless dude who was never claimed so apparently they could just play around with his body. Jerry apologizes, they promise to get Eddie help and then realize that the body is gone!

A few weeks later they’re all hanging out at Wink’s house because he’s out of the hospital. They hang out and kind of feel bad about everything that happened, though they’re more concerned about goofing around. They walk Scott outside and *gasp* the dead body is sitting in his car! Just as everyone starts freaking out, Jerry comes walking out with a big grin on his face and confesses that he snagged the corpse. They all laugh before leaving the corpse against the front door and calling for Wink’s mom. The End.

What the hell? Seriously, what the hell? Teenagers must really be evil if this book is any indication. Cassie realizes that Wink is a horrible person, but then goes with the flow because she’s worried about upsetting him. Sweetie, you have two other friends.

Plus, how the hell does Jerry have a job? I’m pretty sure that you can’t loan out body parts and you sure as hell can’t let someone borrow a corpse. Not to mention that after 3-4 weeks, that corpse would be pretty nasty. Then, they don’t really mention Eddie. He didn’t kill anyone, so what happened to him?

On another note, this is like the 400th book I’ve read about a hit and run marketed to teens. Hit and Run, Chain Letter, I Know What You Did Last Summer, April Fool’s…am I missing any?