Saturday, December 5, 2009

Sweet Valley University #2: Love, Lies and Jessica Wakefield

Jessica Wakefield is in a funk. At the end of the last book, her dream date Mike kissed her and promised to call, but it’s now been a week without a word, which makes me really like him. She moans over him constantly, annoying her roommate Isabella. Izzy points out all the bad stuff Mike did in the past, but Jess is so in love (after one kiss remember) that she won’t even leave the room because she’s worried he might call.

Tom Watts finds proof that the athletic department is offering illegal help to players (like giving them $5,000 for free schooling and grants to pay for new cars), but because he’s a former football player, he can’t investigate the claims on his own so he asks Liz for help. She turns to Alex, who’s still going by Alex, but is called Enid 747 times in this book. Alex is all over her new jock boyfriend Mark and doesn’t think it’s odd that she’s hanging out with Todd and his new galpal Lauren.

Liz is still having problems with her roomie Celine, who’s going around and spreading lies and rumors. Apparently no one in their dorm has met Liz because they’re willing to believe that she parties all the time, blares rock music and sleeps around. She does start spending time with Nina Harper, a girl in her dorm who is also on a diet.

Jess is out with Denise (who Winston is secretly in love with) and Izzy when she hears Mike pull up behind her. Even though she hasn’t heard a word from him in a week and they only shared one kiss, she jumps in his car and they start making out before flying off to his apartment to make out even more. This book should really be called Morons +Stupid Girls = Jessica Wakefield.

Meanwhile Winston is going all crazy because the guys in his frat (including Bruce Patman, yay!) only hang out with him because they want him to introduce them to girls in his dorm. They literally come over at all hours, walk into his dorm without knocking and get rude if he says no. One guy even refuses to buy him lunch unless he introduces him to Denise.

Celine starts pushing herself all over William White, a creepy guy who’s also rich and handsome and is interested in Liz. She promises to report back to him stories about her roommate and give him the inside scoop. Of course she lies to him about stupid crap like dozens of guys asking Liz out for Homecoming and he falls for it all, even asking her to be his date for the dance. He does give Liz a rose that Celine gave him, which she finds and destroys.

After seeing Todd, Liz realizes that she still has feelings for him and should have slept with him. She lets Nina convince her to talk to him, but finds a half-dressed Lauren in his dorm room. Tom sees her crying as she runs from the dorm and realizes that (a) she’s crying over her ex and (b) he’s jealous so he must have feelings for her.

Jess starts spending a ton of time with Mike, which disturbs the Thetas. Alison, the vice-president sets Jess down and has a talk with her about Liz. The only way Jess can become a member is if Liz does and vice-versa because of the whole Alice/legacy thing. Eventually it’s decided that Liz has to go on a date with Peter, who she humiliated in the last book and apologize for her actions in public. Of course Liz refuses because Peter is a racist bastard who should burn in hell.

Izzy starts giving Jess “watch yourself” talks, which pisses her off. She gets more pissed off when Steven gives her a whole lecture after seeing her leave his building at 9 am because he lives in the same building as Mike. Plus she finds a condom ad tapped to the refrigerator and Izzy gives her a pack just in case.

She runs to his apartment and he greets her with a home cooked dinner. As they start making out, they decide to skip dinner and *boom* Jess loses it. I still think she lost it to Bruce back in Sweet Valley High, but whatevs. She gets all excited and tries to see if she looks any different. Eventually Mike asks her to move in because they’ll have more time together and she decides to think about it.

Jess decides to move in with him because heck, they’ve known each other three weeks now. She goes back to his apartment the next day and sees a hot girl leaving. She runs home, cries to Izzy and then realizes that there could be a logical explanation for what he was doing with the girl. Sure, it was Tuesday.

So Jess stalks her big “love” and sees him with a couple of other girls, including one driving a vintage car. She follows him to a bar, where she confronts him after his hugging another girl. The girl sits in his lap and laughs at her and she runs out crying.

Liz finds evidence of the illegal athletic activities (of course she does) by just talking to the director, of course she does. She goes to Todd because he’s implicated and he kind of blows her off because he thinks she’s just crazy about him. She comes home and finds a love poem left for her. She thinks it’s from William White, but it’s actually from Tom.

She does see Tom a couple of times in this book and he always seems to be blowing her off. Like she’s crying and runs to him, but he’s busy with work. Once she ends up running right into William’s arms and then she decides to ask Tom to the dance, but he acts so mean that she runs off and makes him feel bad.

Jess decides to impersonate Liz on a date with Peter and pulls the whole thing off great. Tom sees them together and gets upset because “Liz” is with a loser frat guy. Steven is equally pissed because he can’t figure out what’s up with his sisters and Jess is happy that she still has a shot at her sorority. Izzy sees the way Tom looks at “Liz” and realizes that he’ll never look at her the same way.

William shows up for his date with Celine and is pissed when he finds that not only is Liz staying home, but she never even got asked to the dance. He makes it clear that he would have taken her and that he isn’t happy with Celine. Steve drops by with Billie and tells Liz what happened with Peter and how he’s upset with her before they all realize it was Jess so Liz runs off to make a scene.

Jess comes home to find Mike sitting in her apartment and playing Love Me Tender, the same Elvis song that played when they made love for the first time. Wow, three whole minutes? Wait until she gets a little more experience! He explains that all those women are friends and he was working with the one girl to buy her vintage car and fix it up for Jess. He tells her he loves her, asks her to move in and she agrees in a heatbeat.

Winston comes up with a plan that uses the girls on his floor. They all act sweet and innocent to lure the guys from the frat and setup dates for Homecoming. Before the actual dance, they all get other dates and stand up the frat. Now I see why Winston didn’t pledge. He ends up watching a horror movie marathon with Denise instead of going to the dance. Aw, that’s my kind of date!

I really, really want to slap Jessica around and not just because I know how the storyline with Mike ends. She’s such a bad example to girls! Mike treats her like shit and she falls head over heels in love within a few days. Then she moves in with him just because it kind of seems like she wants to keep an eye on him. Oh well, at least we get a reference to Sam! She uses him as the example of her greatest love ever and how they didn’t need sex to make it work or show their love. Too bad she didn’t mention how it ended when her sister killed him lol.


  1. Jess is the worst.

    Also I love that Sweet Valley U is SVU...makes me think of special victims unit. Haha.

  2. I think she's even worse in these books than the original series!