Sweet Valley University #8: Home for Christmas

Steven is still passes out on the floor and Mike is starting to wonder why he isn’t coming back. He somehow smells the gas and realizes what happened so he tries to walk into the kitchen. Of course he can’t walk, so he figures out a way to crawl into the kitchen. He keeps thinking about what Jess would say if they both died in the apartment. He throws a cast iron doorstop out the kitchen window, which alerts the neighbors and one calls 911.

Liz is turning into Jessica. She blows off her schoolwork, spends all her time with Tom and can’t think about anything but him. She even makes a comment about how her obsessive love for him is scary and that she can’t believe this is what real love feels like. Um, it isn’t. I really love my live-in boyfriend, but if I was around him all the time, I’d lose my freaking mind. They literally start going crazy when they don’t see each other for 12 hours.

Anyway Liz decides that the only way she can do any work is if they spend the entire exam week away from each other. She decides that she’ll make it up to him by taking him home for Christmas. Oh yeah and Sweet Valley High is having a reunion for the class that just graduated! Apparently it’s the best class ever! And she wants Tom as her date.

Alex wakes up one morning with a hangover and can’t remember what happened the night before. In the bathroom she discovers hickies on her neck. Then she realizes that she got drunk with Todd the night before and all she remembers is kissing him before she blacked out. She keeps trying to call him, but he won’t answer the phone.

That’s because Todd is having a crisis. He doesn’t know what to do now that he can’t play basketball. He wakes up with scratches on his back and remembers the whole night, but swears they didn’t have sex. It’s the final straw for him though and he decides to leave SVU. Liz runs out in the road when she sees him driving by, but he keeps going. Alex eventually realizes that he went home, calls him and he asks her to be his date for the reunion. She decides that showing up with the most popular boy from their class is just the thing she needs.

Lila is fitting in on campus better than anyone else. Alison lets her know that she’s not opposed to her pledging the Thetas, but she won’t let Jess become a member. She starts hanging out there all the time and the one time Jess joins her, Alison throws a hissy fit and has her tossed out. She runs into James Montgomery and makes plans to see him.

They go out on a date to the same fancy restaurant she went to with Mike, but she thinks about how she feels so much better with James and how they fit together better and fit in. I told you! He asks her to the New Year’s party at school and she agrees, as long as he goes as her date to the reunion. How long did it take Jess to get over her failed marriage? Apparently six days.

Mike tells Steven that the accident was a good thing. It made him look at his life and reevaluate things. He also learned that he wasn’t happy and if he had kept going the way he was, he’d probably be dead within a few months. He starts going to rehab for his legs and vows that he’ll walk again.

Everyone goes back to Sweet Valley for Christmas and the reunion. Tom is so worried about making a good impression on Ned and Alice that he keeps fucking up: breaks plates, tracks chocolate all over the floor, but they seem to really like him. Everyone else is just worried about keeping the past few months a big secret and not letting their parents know about Mike.

Ironically enough, Mike is set to visit. He buys Jess a real engagement ring, calls the house and convinces Alice to keep his visit a surprise. She gets a message from him, wishing her a Merry Christmas and feels uncomfortable when her parents think it’s sweet. She feels even worse when she sees Liz sneaking off to see Tom and hears Steve sneaking in with Billie late at night.

Mike shows up on Christmas Day and presents Jess with the engagement ring. He tells her that she deserves it all: the white dress and big wedding. He also wants her parents to know about the wedding and be part of their lives. She’s torn (for about 3 seconds), but then tells him that she can’t be with him anymore because they’re different people and need time apart. That doesn’t stop her from telling Liz that she thinks they are soul mates and meant to be together, just not now.

Liz and Tom go to the reunion/dance where he sees a different side of Liz. Dozens of people keep coming up and talking to her, including the very dead Olivia Davidson. Jess goes with James, who she keeps parading around like he’s on a leash and she’s at a dog show. Lila ends up ditching the reunion completely and drinking champagne with Bruce. She realizes that he knows more about her feelings than anyone else and is taking her mind off them better too.

Todd and Alex show up, but he can’t stop watching Liz. It’s a little stalker-ish too, like he’s dancing with Alex and getting pissed off because Liz is five feet away with Tom. He even thinks she’s taunting him by kissing Tom on the dance floor so he gives Alex a passionate kiss. Later he and Liz dance and Alex gets pissed because she thinks Liz is making the moves on Todd and wants everything. I kind of like Alex.

Tom shows up and starts fighting with Todd. They start throwing punches and he knocks Todd out. Give me a freaking break! We’ve had to deal with 150+ books about how great Todd is and now he gets his ass handed to him by a reporter?

Todd’s laying on the ground and Liz gets upset, not because her ex-boyfriend is unconscious, but because her current boyfriend is running away. She chases after him, tells him that he’s the only man for her and they kiss. There’s also a funny moment where Jess gives Lila $5 because Lila bet there’d be a public fight for Liz.

Other notes:

Liz asks Jess about sex and makes it clear that she’s thinking about sleeping with Tom. She notices a “maturity” in Jess’s voice that only comes from having sex. Yes, because all those 13-14 year olds having sex parties in their parents’ basement are so mature.

Jess confesses to the Wakefield’s about her marriage and annulment. Ned and Alice freak out, about how they didn’t raise their kids right (they’re just realizing this?) and they’re so disappointed in her. The next day they apologize and tell her that she’s no longer their little girl; she knows the responsibilities of marriage and even though it didn’t work, they’re proud of how she handled it like a “mature adult”.

Are you fucking kidding me Ned? Jess lied to everyone for several months, ran to her brother when things got hard and then left her husband when he got hurt. Plus she moved out of their apartment without even telling him. Not to mention the fact that she started dating someone else approximately 12 hours after he was hospitalized. Someone please tell me, is that a mature adult?