Sweet Valley University #18: Billie’s Secret

Billie and Steven invite over Jess, Liz and Tom for dinner. It’s all very cute until they start debating over journalism. Seriously, Liz and Tom act like being TV reporters are the ultimate in newsworthy stuff and would never do anything unbalanced. Uh-huh. Steven says that everyone needs to know what they want out of life, like how they want security for their children. Very romantic. He also helps Jessica get her resume together to apply for a job at some store. Pretty sure she just needs to walk in and fill out an application.

Billie gets annoyed with Steven later because she suddenly loves the guitar and he won’t shut up long enough for her to practice. Then we have Tom getting pissed at Liz because she keeps helping Jess instead of spending time with him. She points out that Jess is upset because her boyfriend/professor killed himself for her. Maybe if Jess didn’t fall in love every three days, she wouldn’t have a problem. Then we have Lila getting all sad because Jess is getting a job and she has no direction.

Liz goes to a restaurant and meets a girl about a potential story. Amy was a former model and waitress….wait. If she worked as a model in NYC, why the fuck would she want to work at a restaurant to pay her way through college? Anyway, she shows her an add for Kitty’s Restaurant, which wants models to be waitresses. She says she wasn’t hired because her chest wasn’t big enough. Liz decides to do something. It must be Tuesday.

Billie runs into Liz and they start chatting. Liz finds out that she plays, but Steven doesn’t really know. Since Liz has had 2.5 boyfriends in her entire life, she thinks she knows best. She keeps saying that she doesn’t understand. Billie tells her she will when she’s older. Give me a fucking break. Billie is two years older, barely an adult. Plus, they’ve been living together for two years, which is kind of insane when you consider that they’re only 20. They really need to get out and live a little.

Jessica goes into Taylor’s Department Store, running into Mike McAllery on the way. He makes a comment about her not being a working kind of girl and she gets all offended, even though she feels the same way. She gets the job and meets Val, a cool older girl. She later overhear Steve and Mike making a bet on whether she keeps the job.

Liz gets the job at the restaurant, after padding her bra. It’s really stupid because she acts like she’s never heard of a Hooter’s before. She can’t believe that the guys will pinch a girl’s ass or make rude comments, though her comments are pretty lame. One guy orders a “busty” pizza instead of a crusty one. Ooh, poor Liz.

Billie starts having problems because she hates her major and loves music. She knows her parents wouldn’t approve if she changed majors and that Steven wouldn’t understand because he thinks they should both go to law school. She starts bonding with Chas, a music major and it pisses Steve off.

Jessica goes to a fashion show with Val and runs into Mike, who flirts with her friend and kind of ignores her. She keeps running into him all the time and getting butterflies, but then thinks he’s an ass and wants to kick him. Lila gets a job at the store for about one hour. She’s rude to the customers and blows off work to hang out with Bruce. He talks back to her manager Mr. Farally, who fires her on the spot and has Bruce evicted. She runs to her dad, who gives her money and ignores her problem. Kind of wish my dad was like that sometimes.

Steve finally meets Chas and is immediately threatened. He rails on Billie for not telling him about her new friend and they have a huge fight. Billie confesses she wants to study music, he makes her feel bad and she gives up. Liz starts blowing off Tom and lying about going to work. Is she really allowed to investigate possible stories without telling anyone?

There’s a big sock hop coming up and everyone plans on going, of course. Billie wants to cancel, but then Chas shows up and makes a big deal of the dance. She changes her mind, which pisses Steve off because he thinks she only wants to go to be with Chas, especially after seeing them dance together. Billie gets sick at the dance and tells him their relationship is making her sick. Oh and he totally goes through her drawers, trying to find proof of an affair. Me? I went through my guy’s cell phone and pockets…

Oh god and there’s this whole scene at the dance, where he’s stuck with one of her music friends. He keeps saying everything about the guy is “affected”, like his attitude and his collarless shirt. Yeah Steve because a college pre-law student who acts like he knows everything, isn’t affected at all. AT ALL. Liz is about to tell Tom about her story, when she sees him checking out a busty girl and gets pissed off.

Billie gets news that she’s invited to do some guitar performance/competition thing. The winner gets a free semester abroad in Spain, to learn under some famous player. When she realizes how good she is, she immediately switches her major to music.

Tom sees Liz all dolled up for her job and freaks out, but she pushes him away. She quits her job, but it just so happens that on her last night, he shows up with Danny and some friends. She throws a hissy fit in the restaurant and pulls off her booby pads. Everyone gets all pissed off and he boss fires her. The other girls all pull out fake boobs and the guys drop their mouths. Give me a flipping break. There’s no way every single girl working there would be stuffing. Of course Liz does a huge story, the company sells the restaurants, blah, blah, blah.

Bruce figures out what to give Lila: a doughnut shop. She wants something that will fulfill her life and this is it. She immediately makes plans to turn it into a non-profit. Jess stops by with everyone else and they make a bunch of plans. She runs into a guy on her way out and Bruce gives him some free doughnuts in apology. Mike gives Jess a ride to work, where she learns the store is closing down. Lila’s dad bought the store and some other properties, planning to tear them down to form condos.

Billie realizes that she’s late, after having morning sickness for a week straight. She freaks out and tells him and he turns into robot mode. They’ll both go to summer school, he’ll graduate a semester early and start law school right away. They’ll get married, she can take a semester off for the baby and then jump right back into classes and go to law school. I so want to smack him. Billie plays her heart out and everyone knows that she won, but she’s all emo because she realizes she can’t take the internship and have a baby. Poor girl.