Sunday, September 5, 2010

Sweet Valley University #24: His Secret Past

This is the first book for Nick Fox, but seeing as how it comes directly after Jessica “falling” for Ben, it kind of annoys me.

Anyway, Jessica goes to the student union, where she bitches about all the people there who she thinks should be sent away and killed…or something like that. Mainly she just complains because her outfit is so much cooler than theirs. Considering she’s wearing a cream colored suede skirt and short-sleeved jacket, I’m not impressed.

She hangs up a notice to sell their old television, even though it’s full of lies. A hot guy sees the notice and asks her about it. She confesses that it’s not very good, but he still wants to see it. His name is Nick Fox and he’s a transfer student. They walk back to her dorm room, he winces at her crappy television, but agrees to buy it anyway. They make plans to go out that night because she only knows his name so naturally he’s a great guy.

Liz is having problems of her own because she’s apparently been working at some outreach program and wants to get college credit for it. I love how this has never been mentioned before and is never mentioned again, but it’s such a big deal. She even thinks about punching the desk when the bursar refuses to give her credits. Apparently the group has helped twenty whole people since it started. However do they find the time?

Suddenly some random guy pops up, begging the bursar for help in finding his son. He says that he only knows the boy’s mother’s maiden name, but wants her help in finding him. Both he and Liz are stunned when the bursar refuses to help. Seriously? How do they know he’s not some old lover or stalker? Liz agrees to help no matter what, only pausing for a second to think that Tom might want some attention.

The other storyline involves Alex, who suddenly feels crappy about her life. She thinks she’s failing a few of her classes and Noah never seems to have any time for her. We also have Tom, who is all mopey because he’s about to turn 21 and has no one to celebrate with since his parents and siblings are dead.

Nick and Jessica are standing outside her room when someone taps him on the shoulder. He freaks out and grabs them, only to find that it’s Celine. Apparently she’s back at school and now bestiest with Alison Quinn. Does SVU not have some sort of morals clause? Alison invites Nick to a party at the sorority house, telling Jessica that she has some big news.

Liz tries to talk to Tom about Mr. Conroy (George), but he barely pays attention. She does run into Todd and they have a long talk, before parting as friends. Alex tries to talk to Noah, but when she confesses that she’s craving alcohol, he flips out. He goes off on her about giving up everything she worked for and they seemingly breakup. Considering he wants to be a psychologist, he’s kind of an ass about the whole thing.

Jessica talks to Izzy and Lila, wanting to brag about Nick, but neither really care. She gets all huffy, which is kind of funny. I can totally see them not giving a shit after all the guys she’s already dated this year. In the midst of all this, Liz decides to throw Tom a surprise party, not getting that he doesn’t give a shit and is more concerned about the fact that she keeps ignoring him.

Nick and Jessica finally go on their first date and of course he falls in love with her. They go to a carnival and he can’t stop marveling about how she eats everything she wants and wants to ride all the exciting rides. On the way home, she spots a gun in his glove box, but then pretends she doesn’t see it because it just makes him more exciting.

George finally tells Liz the story of his life, which doesn’t make him out to be such a great guy. He was a big cheater and alcoholic, who cheated on his pregnant wife. He was even with another woman when she gave birth to his son. She divorced him and left with his son. He promised her that he wouldn’t contact him until he turned 21.

Liz suggests he go to the bank, which of course won’t give him any help. Are they really this dumb? How the fuck does Liz keep getting viewed as so smart? Anyway, George gives her a hug, which she thinks goes on a little too long and makes her feel uncomfortable, but she promises to keep helping him anyway.

Jessica sneaks up on Nick on the quad because she can’t resist seeing him all shirtless. She hears him talking about picking up a delivery and decides that he must be some kind of spy. She grabs him and he tosses her over his shoulder. Later he tells her that he came from a rough LA neighborhood and has to always be on his toes. He even says he has a permit for the gun and got it after he was robbed.

Let’s just sum up the other crap fast. Tom gets pissed off because Liz keeps ignoring him and avoiding him. He goes out with Danny and gets super drunk for his birthday. Then Liz and Nina talk, which ends with Nina deciding to cut off her braids because they make her look too young. Later she shows up with short hair and everyone gushes about how she looks so mature.

Jessica talks to Lila about how exciting Nick is, but she doesn’t really give a shit. She tells her that he’s acting kind of suspicious, which pisses Jess off because she barely knows him, but he’s perfect.

We finally get to the sorority party and it turns out the big announcement is that Celine’s grandma is paying to redecorate the living room/sitting room. Alison thinks this is the perfect time to put Celine up for nomination. Um, don’t they only do this like twice a year? Can they just nominate someone for no reason? Jessica goes off about how Celine is a murderer (kind of) and they agree to table the talk until later.

Jessica warns Nick about Celine, but he takes her side, saying she reminds him of an old friend he had. She tells him he can’t be friends with both, he tells her he won’t pick sides and she storms off. Surprisingly enough, Noah then defends Celine too, which makes me wonder if they’re poisoning the men at this school.

Celine calls Nick the next day and asks if he wants to meet her “adult” friends. He calls Jess and apologizes, even though he reminds himself that he shouldn’t even be talking to her. He’s an undercover cop looking for drug dealers and she can’t help him. They go on another date, where she decides he’s perfect because he brought her turkey and goat cheese sandwiches. She invites him to Tom’s party.

We finally get to the fucking party and everyone’s waiting around. Liz goes to see Tom, who tries to blow her off. She makes him feel guilty, saying she had all his favorite foods flown in from around the world. If my girlfriend ignored me for over a week straight and didn’t even call, I’d answer the door naked and wrapped around another girl.

She sees his sociology project on the table and starts reading it because it’s his family tree. What the fuck does that have to do with sociology? She sees a name, runs downstairs and calls George, inviting him to the party. Gee, I wonder where this is going?

Tom is suitably surprised and everyone has fun at the party. Alex runs into a few guys she knew during her “party days”, which was…oh, six days ago. Nick saves her and then confesses that he’s actually an undercover cop. Kick him off the force already!

Jessica and Nick run into Celine, who starts flirting with him. She gets pissed off when he doesn’t blow her off. He has Jess hold his coat while he gets drinks and she answers his cell phone. She hears someone tell her to pick up the package behind the science lab and decides to get involved in his “spy” work.

The book *finally* ends with Liz dragging Tom over to George and giving him his present. Instead of telling him a single fucking thing or having any respect for him, she just says “Tom this is your dad”. She must have nipples that leak beer…oh wait, no guy has ever seen her nips, never mind.


  1. I don't know how you get through these books :p Seriously, this one sounds AWFUL!

  2. The later books are even worse! One book follows one day in the lives of the twins, which is far worse than it sounds...