Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Sweet Valley High Magna Edition: Elizabeth’s Secret Diary Volume II

I kind of hate these books because while it’s over 300 pages long, we really only get a few pages of new shit and the rest is packaged from old books. This one takes place from the time Todd moves back to Sweet Valley to the one where she sets up Dana and Aaron.

At the beginning of the book Todd is taking Liz out for their anniversary, but he seems really preoccupied with something. In a very un-Liz moment, she thinks about how much she likes the fancy restaurant and how it’s a “perk” to dating a rich Todd. You know, as opposed to the poor Todd she wasted all those other books on.

Eventually Todd confesses that his friend Michelle is coming into town from Vermont. He and Liz almost broke up after she found a letter the girl wrote, calling Todd cute buns and signing it with a bunch of kisses. Is this something that actually happened in the books? I have no idea, but I can’t remember it. Todd is kind of an ass too because they have plans for their anniversary and he wants to bring Michelle.

Liz freaks out and goes home, where she gets all emo about it and write some lame poetry about Michelle being easy. She invites Enid over the next day to make chocolate chip cookies (natch). She hears a knock at the door and it’s Todd with Michelle. I kind of love Liz in this part because she makes snide comments about her being fast and loose. They have another fight and Todd runs off.

Enid makes her feel bad about what happened, so she decides to take Todd some cookies. She finds him and Michelle kissing and runs away, but he sees her and tries to stop her. Jess wants the full story and I love this too, because she sits down and listens to his messages on the machine. Liz runs upstairs and digs out her old diaries, to remember her other major love…until the next Secret Diary.

I’m not going to summarize the whole book because that’s just insane. It basically follows the books in the series that deal with Todd coming back, her and Jeffery breaking up and then her cheating on Todd. She and Todd are having some problems and she sees Jeffery in the Dairi Burger. They share a moment and she remembers when she loved him.

She and Jeffery end up kissing a few times and she talks to him about stuff. Like in The New Elizabeth, she runs into him on the beach and she tells him about her surfing lessons. He thinks it’s admirable that she wants to try something new, agrees to cheer her on at the event (though he isn’t mentioned in that book) and they kiss.

After all the illicit smoochies, Jeffery climbs the trellis outside her room and they make out a little on her bed. He wants her to tell Todd what’s going on, but she won’t. Then Todd also climbs the trellis and nearly catches them. He dances with her in her room, they kiss and she makes him leave because Jeffery is hiding in the closet.

When her parents start having problems and then separate, she thinks Todd isn’t listening to her and starts kissing Jeffery again. He again demands that she tell Todd the truth, but she won’t. Todd and Jeffery even get into a fight at the Oracle office, when Jeffery hears Todd acting rude to her. Eventually she realizes that she’s in love with Todd and can’t be with Jeffery, but promises to keep him in her heart.

After going through her journal, Liz realizes that she does love Todd and he’s the one she wants. I really fucking hate this because she says that she can forgive him for one kiss because of all the kisses she shared with Jeffery that he doesn’t know about. She actually says this! It’s something like, how can I be upset with him for kissing someone else, when I kissed Jeffery all those times and never told him? You are such a fucking slut.

Liz and Todd go to the Dairi Burger to celebrate getting back together and she remembers seeing Jeffery there the first time. She’s sitting in the same exact seat and looks up, to find him sitting in the same seat too. Only this time he’s with some redhead and smiling in a way he never did with her. She kind of nods her smug head, thinking that everything worked out like it should. Yeah, you cheated on your boyfriend and fucked over another guy, sounds like another day in Sweet Valley.


  1. But the important thing is that no one hates Elizabeth! never mind she's acting the tramp, being hypocritical and two-face (since hasn't she righteously attacked EVERYONE for 'cheating' at some point or another?)

    I remember when I read these 'diaries' by the twins I thought "Huh. So really the only difference is that Liz pretends to be more superior to Jess?" And while Liz came out not too grandly in a lot of her own diaries, Jess came off more sympathetically.

    o'course I was a gullible kid so I may be thinking through rose-colored glasses.

  2. I love how she gets all super smug at the end of the book! You know she was really disappointed that Jeffery wasn't pining over her lol