Sweet Valley High Super Edition: Spring Break

Supposedly a bunch of Sweet Valley High kids are off to spend Spring Break in France. The only ones actually mentioned are the twins and Lila. Lila is off to spend a week with a family in the Riviera, while the twins are staying with this woman Avery and her son Rene. Her daughter Feney is going to spend a week with the Wakefield family. Poor girl. Liz is a little sad because Todd has just moved to Vermont and she thinks Rene looks cute in his photo.

Avery is super nice to the girls, but Rene *gasp* hates them. Hates them? Say it ain’t so! He actually hates all Americans and the girls learn that his father was American. He left when Rene was fairly young and so now he hates everyone from America.

On their first full day in Cannes, Jess meets a guy named Marc. He isn’t very cute, but he’s rich and drives a Porsche, so she’s all over him. Liz finds a random dog and takes it home. Turns out his owner is a wealthy countess and arranges to have her meet her grandson Jean-Claude. Jean-Claude is cute and rich, but Liz isn’t all that interested in him.

Jessica keeps spending time with Marc, but she can’t help wishing that he was just a little cuter, you know, more her type. Liz gets to spend one day with Rene and he basically treats her like shit. He takes her out to meet some of his friends and then starts speaking in French and using all these slang words she doesn’t understand. Then he asks the waitress to bring more ketchup because Americans drown their food in it. Eventually his friends tell him to lighten up.

Avery calls for Rene and Liz answers the phone because he’s gone. She needs someone to pick up medication from the pharmacy because she’s stuck with a patient (she’s a nurse). Liz volunteers to pick it up, even though she has a “date” scheduled with Jean-Claude. She leaves a note for him on the door, but gets stuck in traffic and shows up way too late.

Jess reads the note and when she discovers how cute Jean-Claude is, she just can’t stay away. She pretends to be Liz and they go out on a date. Liz gets home and thinks he stood her up. Jessica keeps pretending to be her twin and Liz keeps getting confused about why he won’t answer or return her calls. Poor Jean-Claude is confused too because Liz kind of spoke French, but Jess is completely inept at the language.

Jess told March she was sick to avoid hanging out with him and he pops in, wanting to check on her. Liz feels bad for him and they go out together. Rene shows up and knowing that Jess is out with Jean-Claude, starts in about them switching places to screw with each others’ boyfriends.

Liz doesn’t get it at all and goes out, but when she gets home Jess is still gone. When a storm comes, she really starts worrying. Rene feels bad that she’s so upset and reveals that Jess has been dating Jean-Claude. Liz calls the countess, who tells her that she (Jess as Liz) and Jean-Claude went sailing.

Rene offers Liz a ride on her motorbike and they head off. I can’t believe she would get back on one of those after what happened, no matter how much trouble Jessica is in this time. They find the two stuck on a sailboat in the middle of the storm. Jess falls overboard and Liz tries to save her, but she can’t reach her. Rene jumps in and saves her, even though he’s been afraid of the water for years. Apparently he watched one of his friends drown.

Liz and Rene kind of get together at the end, but it’s lame. He realizes that she isn’t so bad and she reaches out to him to contact his dad, who talks to Feney and has a new family. At least it’s not one of those things where he’s never mentioned again. He does show up in the werewolf books, but Liz is way past him by then.

The other story involves Feney. Liz finds a photo of her and shows it to Jess. They both freak out because she looks just like Tricia Martin (another doppelganger!). Of course neither one bothers to call and check on Steven or Cara for that matter.

Steven decides that Feney is the perfect girl for him and that he’s in love with her, despite the fact that they can’t carry on a conversation. She barely speaks any English and doesn’t even know the word for beach. And Rene is bitching because Americans don’t learn the language when they visit? She and Steve keep signing to each other and he thinks she’s super smart and cool.

Cara tries to talk to Steve and of course he won’t listen. She mopes around the whole book, even seeing them out on dates and still doesn’t grow a pair. Steve finally gets a friend of his to go on a date with them and translate. Turns out that Feney isn’t anything like Tricia. He thought she wanted to be a scientist, but she just wants to create makeup. She’s only interested in boys, clothes and makeup. He kind of apologizes to Cara, she forgives him and they live happily every after until the next time he cheats on her.