Sweet Valley Twins #12: Keeping Secrets

Ned has a big secret and he is finally ready to share it with the twins. No he isn’t a pedophile, nor is he running for mayor. Nope, he just has a secret language called Ithing that he wants to teach the twins. It’s really lame and a total rip-off from Pig Latin. You just add “ithing” before and after constantans or some shit like that. Liz picks up on it right away and absolutely loves it. Jessica couldn’t give a shit because she thought he was taking them to Europe.

Ned explains that he and his former best friend used the secret language as kids and it means a lot to him. Please note that he only tells the twins and NOT Steven. Caroline Pierce shows up and Jessica suddenly wants to learn the language so she can drive her crazy. She learns it pretty fast too.

Before long (as in the next day), the twins are speaking to each other in their secret language. Amy overhears and Liz apologizes, but says she can’t tell her the secret because she promised her dad. Jessica even refuses to tell Lila the secret, which really pisses her off. Lila decides to invite a bunch of people to a charity party her dad is holding, complete with some fancy tennis player. She tells Jess that she can only come if she tells her the secret.

For a few chapters, everyone in school acts weird around them. Amy gets chummy with Lila and ignores Liz. Jessica finally breaks down and tells Lila, but only if she never tells anyone. Lila of course sends out invitations written in the secret language. Liz is pissed and refuses to go to the party. Jess does and Lila spills the beans, telling everyone how to talk in the secret language.

The next day at school, everyone starts using the secret language. Amy is pissed that Liz never told her and when Liz tries to tell her, she shoots her down because she already knows the secret. The class gets a substitute teacher and everyone talks in the language to make her look stupid. She has a supervisor coming into town that wants to watch her in action and see if she is fit for a full-time teaching position. The kids all decide that they will use the language and make her look bad again.

Elizabeth worries constantly because she doesn’t want to break her dad’s trust, but she feels bad for the teacher too. She finally goes to the teacher, only to learn that the teacher already knows the secret language and picked it up from everyone else. Lila and the other kids use it around her in front of her supervisor and she shocks them all by speaking it right back to them.

After class, the supervisor approaches a group of kids and asks about the teacher. Lila rants about how she’s a horrible teacher with bad taste in music. He shoots her down, explaining that Lila’s personal taste has no bearing on how a teacher acts and maybe she should act with more maturity. Burn.

Ned comes home, babbles away in the secret language and the twins answer him in English. He acts kind of hurt or surprised and they confess that they don’t want to use it anymore. Ah, so that’s why we never hear of it ever again!