Goosebumps HorrorLand #7: My Friends Call Me Monster

The HorrorLand books have three different sections in each book, which is a little odd. The second section is part of a story that takes place at HorrorLand, but in a sneaky move by R.L. Stine, the story continues from book to book. So if you want the whole story, you have to buy every book. I only have a few, but we’ll see what happens.

The first story in the book has absolutely nothing to do with HorrorLand; it’s just a shorter version of a Goosebumps book. Michael and his friends hate their teacher Mrs. Hardesty because she would rather have them learn about monsters than do any real schoolwork. He takes a dog whistle to school and somehow when he blows it, the shade rolls up. Hardesty gets pissed off and hauls him in after school. When she hears his friends Daisy and DeWayne laughing in the hallway, she drags them in too.

As punishment she makes them do a community service project that Saturday near her house. Their principal Mr. Wong asks her to rethink her decision, but she is done. She makes them dig through a huge trash pile, looking for recyclable materials. Wong shows up with candy bars and paper towels, but still refuses to do anything.

To get back at her, the kids sneak into her house and hide a black cat in her basement, since she is superstitious. She comes home early and since they can’t for some reason get out, they hide in the attic. She comes upstairs and Michael sees her sit on top of a giant egg. The kids freak out and run away. Michael wants to go back and catch her in the act, but his friends refuse to go back.

This time, Michael sees the egg actually hatch and a green scaled monster come out. Hardesty takes the monster into the basement and he sees a whole room full of monsters. She talks to them, revealing a plan to take over the world with the monsters and reveals that she is actually an alien monster working for a commander.

Michael wants to go back again and his friends still refuse. He sneaks up to her window and sees her in her monster form making eggs. After eating the eggs, she turns back into a human. Hardesty hears him outside, drags him in and makes him eat some of the eggs, which turns him into a monster. She sticks him in the basement with all the other monsters.

Luckily, his friends show up. He blows his whistle, Daisy recognizes him and they help him escape. He eats a few bites of eggs, which turns him halfway back into a human. They run to Wong’s house because he lives right down the street, but find him sitting on an even bigger egg. Hardesty runs in and reveals that the principal is her commander.

Michael breaks the egg and Wong falls inside. Hardesty jumps in to save him and they both melt in the egg yolk. The other monsters jump inside and melt too. Michael eats some egg yolk and completely transforms into a human. DeWayne says he took pictures with his cell phone, but he cut off everyone’s head, so they have no proof of what happened.

Michael goes home and has dinner with his parents. His mom brings out a carrot cake and they all dig into it. After a few bites, his mom casually mentions that Mrs. Hardesty brought over the cake the day before, made with her “special” eggs.

And now we get to HorrorLand.

Several kids get invited to a special event at HorrorLand and two disappear right away. One of the “horrors”, the guys dressed in scary costumes, warns the kids that everything is real and they must escape as soon as possible.

Michael from the last story appears in this one, trapped in the Bat Barn with all the other kids. Apparently, him and his parents turned into monsters, but he gave them some of the special egg yolk and they all transformed into humans. A bunch of bats attack, but the kids get away when Michael blows his dog whistle.

They fill him in on how the other kids disappear. He learns that they went through a mirror into another park called Panic Park and how now they cannot find any mirrors in the amusement park. Michael goes off on his own, looking for a mirror. He tries the hotel and the stores, but no one has anything shiny. He sneaks into an employee area and finds a huge underground cavern, but he gets caught by a park police officer who sends him away.

Michael meets up with the other kids and they look for something with a mirrored surface. He also tries getting online, but the park has no internet and cell phones do not work. They sneak into the employee area and he uses a park computer to access the internet. They find a blog about girls that escaped from the park, but get caught again.

The police chase them into an area with cages. Every cage has a weird gorilla creature inside. One of the gorillas grabs a kid, but the police save him. As everyone breaks up and goes different ways, one of the horrors takes Michael aside. He gives him a shiny coin object and tells him he can use it to escape. Michael looks inside and is transported to another park. He looks and around and realizes that he is in Panic Park, but his all of his friends are long gone.

Oh, and we get a two-page map that shows what part of the park looks like.