Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Sweet Valley High #6: Dangerous Love

Todd Wilkins did the unthinkable…he got cool. Okay, so he just bought a motorcycle, but that’s still one of the coolest things he ever did, in any Sweet Valley universe. Unfortunately Liz can’t ride with him and she hasn’t got around to telling him that. At first she just thought he was all talk, but then he got the money together and she chickened out.

Jessica reminds her that their way-cool cousin Roxy did in a head-on collision exactly one day after buying the motorcycle that no one wanted him to buy. She also thinks Liz should move on and start dating other people. Liz prefers pretending like she has a cold and making up other excuses for not getting on the bike.

Todd finally confronts her about it and she tells him about Roxy. Todd can’t believe that she would think he might pick a motorcycle over her and decides they should just make the most of the time they have together. He shows how trustworthy he is and how much he loves her by immediately giving a ride to anything in a skirt.

Enid’s sweet sixteen is coming up, which I find hysterical. I’m pretty sure only the early books mention that she skipped a grade and is technically a year younger than everyone else. Jessica desperately wants a date with her cousin Brian and cons Liz into asking for her. Enid shoots her down (denied!) because Jess is a huge slut and a bitch. those are her reasons too!

She points out that Jess just had a date with another guy and when Liz tries saying that it wasn’t serious, Enid says she shouldn’t dick around her cousin either. Don’t worry though because in a few pages Enid calls and changes her mind. She decides that she should forgive and forget, bo-ring!

The Dairi Burger is having its grand reopening in this book, which I think they forgot to mention in the Sweet Valley bible. In every other series (including SVT), the Dairi Burger is the hottest place to hang out. In this book, it’s a dive place that no one really likes, so the owners give it a facelift.

Jess’s new boytoy Danny accidentally hits Crunch McAllister’s van and he pins the guy against his car. Todd flies in on his motorcycle, Crunch nearly wets himself and Todd lets him take it for a ride, saving Danny. Liz sees green when the owner thinks Mandy, the girl Todd rode up with, is his girlfriend. She even gets jealous when he offers Enid a ride.

Max Dellon kindly offers Liz a ride a few days later and puts the moves on her. It’s actually kind of funny because he tells her that a closed car can be more fun than an open motorcycle. I totally see him wiggling his eyebrows as he says it. He chases her down, Todd sees the exchange and blows his top over her getting so close to another guy.

The night of Enid’s big party finally dawns and Todd isn’t there. He had to go to a party for his grandpa, but promises to get there as soon as he can. The group all plans on leaving the fancy party for the local dance club and Todd still isn’t there. Enid’s mom offers Liz a ride, so she waits around. Jessica was supposed to give her a ride, but is shacked up with Brian, Enid’s cousin. Todd shows up and tells Liz that he made a deal to sell his bike to Crunch. She feels so bad that she decides to take one ride with him. He refuses, but she pushes the issue.

Jessica stops making out for five seconds because she finally remembers her sister, 30 minutes after she was supposed to pick her up. Brian, who is a sophomore in college by the way, does not want to stop tapping a hot 16-year-old ass, so he puts her off. They go back to kissing, but she stops him again and tells him they should check on her sister.

On the way back, they come across an accident and she recognizes Todd’s bike. Worrying about how to tell Liz what happened, she jumps out of the car and sees them loading Liz in an ambulance. As she jumps inside, she vaguely hears Crunch talking about buying the bike. Everyone rushes to the hospital and the Wakefields blame Todd for everything, even throwing him out of the waiting room.

Mr. Collins arrives because god forbid his star reporter take a dump without him present and stands by Todd’s side. Ned jumps all over him again and Jess bursts into tears because it’s all her fault and frankly, well it kind of is her fault. Is there even one instance in any Sweet Valley book where she puts Liz in front of a guy? Once Jess takes responsibility, everyone climbs all over themselves making her feel better.

The doctor suggests they talk to Liz and try to get her to wake up. The book ends with Jessica and Todd begging her to wake up. I wonder if anyone thought she might actually die…


  1. Every time Liz ordered the Dairi Burger's hot clam special I kinda got dry heaves.

    It's almost like something you'd see on the menu in a bad 80's sex comedy.

  2. That's probably why it's only mentioned in this book :-)

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    Oh yeah, I remember this one. Ho boy. How could ANYONE who read anything in the saga forget this?

    And I especially remember this cover. How sick it made me. This is from that infamous book “Dangerous Love” where Elizabeth gets on Todd’s bike and they go for “the ride of their lives.”

    They’re toolin’ around and havin’ fun… until Liz wants to drive. And she practically dies by her own hand. More so than Todd or the bike.
    This is one of the earlier ones… the ones Ms. Francine Pascal penned herself, right?

    Not yet another done by the ghosts. So much of the drama of the town of Sweet Valley was dreamed up and done by the hand of others. I don’t even think Francine even read most of them. Or even looked over them before they went out. She was just the “idea lady.” A figure-head. And just collecting royalties.

    I gotta say… the drawing of Todd on the cover. He looks like a drooling idiot. Of course, Liz looks like she’s going to die from an orgasm. Even the best-looking people can look terrible and absolutely stupid at times. Whenever Todd makes that face, he just looks ridiculous. He did it again in “Todd’s Story.”

    This was one of the more memorable and noteworthy volumes in the entire series… along with the next one. Where Elizabeth awakens from her coma and we see riding the bike and wiping out have put her through a metamorphosis. She is re-born as… Jessica. Actually, more like “Neo-Jessica.” Look up “Dangerous Love” and “Dear Sister.” In fact, read those two back-to-back. You’ve got to. Believe me, you’ll get the full-feel of the entire experience.

    Although, the way they tried to resolve all this... in other words, put everything neatly back to usual--tie things up with a nice, neat little bow--was really terrible. She's at the Patman's place with Bruce still in full "Uber-Jessica" mode and ready to do the nasty until Liz bumps her head and the personality is instantly resolved. Uh-huh. Right. OK, so it was standard overly- common soap-opera amnesia. She doesn't even remember offering it up to Bruce. But he wants it and he's going to get it one way or the other. So he forces himself on her and she races out and into the arms of Todd Wilkins.

    Does anyone else feel more than just a little nauseous here? Seriously... they couldn't find a better way to end all this? It's painful... it's embarrassing.

    I think we all know why these things are out-of-print. No wonder "SVH" is so over. After reading "The Sweet Life"... many have given up their lifetime subscription to the fan club. And there haven't especially been any new members.

    These things have just become obsolete. They even re-imagined them in 2008 The re-working was a huge improvement. But come on. Entertainment has really come a long way. Somehow, these thing just do not hold up. Just the whole idea. The whole concept.

    –-For Jenn, For Liz and Todd, For Miss Pascal, For the Readers… and all of the town of “Sweet Valley,” Dane Youssef

  5. "Every time Liz ordered the Dairi Burger's hot clam special I kinda got dry heaves.

    It's almost like something you'd see on the menu in a bad 80's sex comedy." --Severina

    Mmmmm.... yes, hon. Keep that in mind--a bad '80's... something. There's a good reason.

    --All The Best Possible, Dane Youssef

  6. Actually, Liz didn't drive the motorcycle, she just wanted to finally go for a ride. Todd was selling it for her, plus Jess once again ditched her for another random guy, so she hopped on the bike and went for a ride with him.

    As for the newer "reimaginings," I never read them and have no desire to read them. The few snippets I did read online made me wince so hard that I never even bothered to check them out. I even passed up a chance to buy the first two at a thrift store super cheap LOL