In case you haven’t read the book before this (which I’m suspiciously missing LOL), Jessica has found her “one true love” in the form of Jeremy Randall. Unfortunately, he’s also engaged to Sue, the daughter of Alice’s college roommate who died. Alice threw her an engagement party and Jessica snuck off to make out with Jeremy.
Liz catches them and naturally flips out. Not because her sister is a huge whore, but because someone might catch them. They reluctantly stop kissing just before Sue finds them. They make up a lame excuse about trying to find flowers for the party and they head back inside. The twins have to give a speech at the party, but Jessica runs off in tears. Liz makes a joke about champagne going through her twin too fast and everyone laughs.
Liz tells Steven about Jessica and Jeremy, but surprisingly he doesn’t really care. He thinks it’s just another of Jessica’s flings and that Liz is overreacting. Um, would he feel the same way if Billie was sneaking around on him? Oh yeah that’s right, he would totally flip out like he did in the SVU series!
Liz has her own problems though. She feels bad about cheating on Todd with Luke, the werewolf killer. She mopes around constantly, reading relationship books and acting like she’s an expert. When Todd gets back in town, she gets ready to tell him about her affair, but he reveals that he dated someone else too. She rails on him about never trusting anyone again, storms off and ignores him for the rest of the book.
Jessica decides that she will just keep sneaking around with Jeremy. They make plans to watch the sun set, but Sue catches them and they go on a weird triple date. Lila makes a comment about Jessica being his mistress, which she kind of is and Jessica flips out. She accuses Robbie of only dating Lila for her money and decides that she will never again play second fiddle to anyone…until five pages later.
Jessica gives Jeremy the silent treatment for exactly an hour-long dinner. He comes up to her in the kitchen and she’s so happy to see him that she makes out with him some more. He agrees to tell Sue the truth and call off the wedding. Before that happens, Sue gets a mysterious letter. It turns out that she has the same blood disorder her mom had and she only has three years to live. I guess it was a fluke that her mom made it to her forties?
Jessica comes home “walking on air” from her latest date. When Liz tells her the news, Jess decides that Sue must be faking it. Liz accuses her of being a horrible person and that she can’t believe Jessica is her twin. Jess runs to her room and cries herself to sleep because her life is over. That becomes even clearer the next day when Sue tells Jeremy the news. Jessica eavesdrops on their conversation and hears Jeremy tell her that he won’t leave her side and that he wants to marry her.
The rest of the book is pretty much Jessica being a raging bitch. Sue and Jeremy go to the movies, so she goes too. She spills popcorn on them and when Sue suggests she join them, she climbs over the seat and sits between them. Sue and Jeremy go hiking and she tags along. She pretends that she hurt her ankle and gets Jeremy alone, which leads to another make out session. She even follows them to the mall where they go shopping for their honeymoon. She gets Jeremy alone in the elevator and throws herself at him.
The girls throw Sue a wedding shower and everyone brings her sexy lingerie. Jessica flips out because she suddenly realizes that they will have sex on their wedding night. Oh, poor naïve Jess! She then attends a beach party for them and sees the couple with their New York friends. They have a heated debate about politics and the environment. All Jessica can do is make a few jokes, but she still thinks that she’s a better match for Jeremy.
They wind up alone on the beach and Jeremy tells her that she is his soul mate. He will always carry a part of her with him, but he has to do the right thing. Elizabeth and Enid interrupt them, and Jeremy rushes back to Sue. Jessica rails about how she loves him more than any other man she ever met, including Sam.
The big day finally arrives and the girls go shopping. Sue keeps pointing out expensive clothes and buys several outfits. Jessica hisses that Sue is incredibly immature and that Jeremy deserves better. They all go to the ceremony, but she just can’t hold her breath. When the priest asks if anyone has any objections, Jess stands up. She tells everyone that Jeremy loves her and he says that it’s true. The priest cancels the ceremony, Liz carts Jessica off and Jeremy walks down the beach. Oh and Alice is all horrified because she apparently never met her daughter.
The B-plot is about Lila and Robbie. She decides to test him by telling him that she was an orphan taken in by the Fowlers. They treated her badly and she got blamed for everything their real daughter did. She even cooks him brunch, but ruins the waffles. Lila starts worrying that Robbie liked her more as a poor girl, so she confesses the truth. It’s okay though because he loves her anyway.
I can’t believe that I forgot to mention this, but Robbie throws Jeremy a bachelor party. For some reason Todd, Bruce and the rest of the gang go even though there’s never been any mention of them meeting Robbie or Jeremy. The girls break up the party, but don’t find any signs that the guys were “bad”. Apparently they just had dinner and played poker. Liz and Todd get back together. She tells him about the cheating and instead of being pissed, he’s just glad she’s okay and survived. Sometimes I hate this kid.