I can't believe I haven't recapped this yet! It's so full of ridiculousness!
Jessica and Lila are at the roller skating rink, and Jessica meets this cute older boy named Josh. Lila points out that he is way too older for her, but she decides to just lie to him and say that she's a freshman at Sweet Valley High. Since Josh is obviously a moron, he decides that she must be telling the truth, so he agrees to go out with her that weekend, and she asks him to pick her up at her friend's house.
Jessica manages to steal Elizabeth's best dress because a navy blue cotton dress with sandals is oh-so-elegant for a first date. Josh picks her up at Lila's house for a double date with his best friend Sam and his girlfriend Melanie. Since Melanie is a freshman, she keeps asking Jess about school, and they all think it's a little odd that she can't answer them.
They go to the Dairi Burger for dinner, and Jessica sees a little heart that someone drew with Josh and Anita inside. Since there obviously can't be two guys with the same name in the same town, she realizes that it's her Josh and his ex-girlfriend. Caroline Pearce sees them together and comes over to say hi, but Jess acts like she doesn't know her, even when she uses her name! The others want to go see an R-rated movie, but Jessica doesn't have a fake ID so they wind up at another movie. She thinks it went bad, but Josh gives her a kiss and asks her out on a second date.
Elizabeth and Amy are at the mall when Josh comes up and starts talking to her. After he leaves, Amy says that he used to date Caroline’s older sister Anita. Elizabeth realizes that he thought she was Jessica so she rushes home to talk to her twin. Jessica swears that they are just friends and that he's the same age as Steven.
Caroline naturally tells everyone what she saw, and it comes back to Liz. She confronts Jessica again and she just plays dumb. Liz knows that they made plans for that weekend and she calls her on it. Jessica lies, saying that she's going to Kerry Glenn's family cabin that weekend and that he was just going to call her on the phone. Elizabeth eventually finds out his actual age and Jess plays dumb again. She says that she had no idea of his age and that she would never have gone out with him if she did. She actually convinces Elizabeth that he lied to her about his age, and Liz totally buys it. When he calls that night, Jessica promises to break things off with him, but just makes plans for the weekend.
There's so big random circus coming to town that weekend and the Wakefields always go together. Ned waited too long to get tickets and it sold out. When he finally does get tickets, he learns that Jessica already has plans for the weekend, and Steven is going to the circus with some random girl he likes. Jessica throws such a hissy fit that Ned agrees to take her somewhere special the next weekend.
Alice actually acts like a parent in this one and refuses to let Jessica go to the cabin unless she talks to Kerry's mom. She convinces Lila to call and pretend to be her, and because Alice is a complete moron, she totally buys it. Jessica then goes over to Lila's house to spend the weekend.
Josh picks her up for their date and heads to pick up his cousin Megan before picking up her date. It turns out that her date is Steven. Jessica briefly thinks about making a run for it, but decides to stick it out. Josh then lets her know that he still has feelings for Anita but that he still wants to go through with their date. Jessica volunteers to go home but he refuses.
Steven comes outside and is shocked to see his sister. He teases her throughout the night but agrees to keep her secret. Jessica finds Anita crying in the bathroom and tells her that Josh is still in love with her. Anita comes over to see them and they're so smitten with each other that Jessica tries to sneak away. She runs into her parents and Liz and part of the story comes out in front of Josh. Steven convinces their parents to go on home and he'll bring Jessica back later.
Jessica tells Josh the whole story and he feels a little stupid. He confesses that he did something similar, stealing his dad's car when he was thirteen and lying to the cop who pulled him over. He tells her that she's a sweet kid and drops her off at home. Ned and Alice flip out but let her off pretty easy with just a grounding. Hell, she even gets to call Lila and tell her what happened.
The best part is that the rumor mill starts flying at SMS. The story Caroline spreads is that Jessica and Josh were hopelessly in love but that she sacrificed herself so he could go back to his ex. Naturally, she gets even more popular because she's the first Unicorn to date such an older guy.
*Really Josh, really? I feel like doing the whole "Really with Seth and Amy" from SNL right now. Look at that cover! She screams jail bait!
*Josh says that LILA looks young, and Jessica is all like, "oh yeah she's my friend but she's waaaay immature," and Josh is all like, "yeah, I can totally see that." Moron.
*There's no mention of anyone using a fake ID until Jessica brings it up. I so remember the days when anyone could get into an R-rated movie without the clerks checking.
*I know Josh is new to the dating world but telling your date that you are still in love with your ex is a no-no.
*Josh very clearly kisses Jessica at least twice in this book, but then we get a whole super special about her first kiss.
*I love Lila! When Jessica calls and says that she isn't coming back, Lila's mind immediately goes to a dirty place.
*This is the book where Jessica basically gives the gear shift a hand job while staring into Josh's eyes. Creepy.
*Lila assumes that Josh will take Jessica to all these romantic places like four-star restaurants and order fancy meals. I remember being in sixth grade and thinking that high school dates were actually like that.
*The rumor around school doesn't really make sense. If they were so much in love, why would he still have feelings for his ex?
*Steven actually agrees to meet his parents at the circus so they can meet his new girl, which seems out of character for him.
*When Josh finds out the truth, he realizes that's why he never saw her at SVH. Really Josh, really? You didn't think about maybe, possibly asking someone about the hot girl you're dating?
*Josh lies to his friends and says that she's 15 when she told him she was 14. He also thinks that 14 is too young to date, which makes it even worse that he doesn't figure out that she's younger.