Eye Candy (R.L. Stine)

This post is getting TONS of attention due to the MTV television show. For those who recently found my blog, please keep in mind that this review is nearly two years old. I'll comment when you comment, but I've read so many books since then that this one isn't very fresh in my mind.

Part One:

Eye Candy opens with our unknown killer out on a date with a girl named Alesha who he met through a dating website. Every time she asks him a question, he responds and thinks to himself how he's lying to her. After coffee, they decide to grab dinner, but he can't help looking at her man hands, which he calls Hulk hands, and how she laughs just like his mom.

They head back to her apartment, and she immediately throws herself at him. They kiss a little and he then proceeds to choke her to death in her apartment. As if that wasn't enough, he takes a knife from her kitchen and cuts off each of her fingers, thinking they feel like asparagus. The killer then reveals that he can always find women just like Alesha online. Kind of fitting for the times, isn't it?

Then we get to meet Lindy who is the main character in the book and is also on a date with Jack. He takes her to a play he has free tickets to, and she winds up hating it. He takes her to dinner at a place his dad does PR for so they eat for free, and at the end of the night, he wants to walk back to her apartment. She keeps thinking about how he's cheap, and when he kisses her goodnight, she turns her head.

Lindy thinks back on how her roommates convinced her to try online dating. Luisa works in a bar and brings guys home all the time, while Ann-Marie has a boyfriend named Lou, who frequently checks out Lindy right in front of his girlfriend. Ann-Marie actually made the ad and put it up for her, they laugh at all the responses, and she picks three guys to go out with. She also lets us know that one of these guys will try to kill her.

Speaking of our killer, he gets another chapter too. He reads the article about the girl he killed and thinks he should have paid more attention to her because he couldn’t remember her job and barely remembered her name. His mom calls, and he tells her all about how the newspaper ran a story on him before deciding he should find another girlfriend.

Date number two is with this guy Brad. He takes her to a sports bar where they can barely hear each other, and they go to a comedy club. She's 5'11" and hates people thinking she's a dumb blonde, while he laughs at all the dumb blonde jokes. At the end of the date, he kisses her so hard that she has to forcibly push him away and then says he tripped and fell.

She comes home, complains about the date, and sees Lou checking her out again, but none of that matters because it's time for a date with Colin. They meet in a bar, and she approaches him. They talk, share a few laughs, and then she realizes he isn't her date. Apparently, her calling him Colin doesn't register in the guy's head. Sandy gives her his number and asks her to call him.

Somehow, she has a fast connection to Colin. They both love movies, and he won't talk about anything but movies and cartoons, which kind of sounds like my perfect date! They wind up going back to his apartment, which is naturally big and gorgeous, and she has sex with him, but she still leaves without spending the night. When she gets home, she hears someone moving through the dark, but when she calls out, no one answers.

Lindy later says that it was just Ann-Marie coming home late from a date. She heads out on a date with Colin, and when he mentions going out of town the next weekend, she immediately wonders if he's secretly married. Then she decides he can't be with someone because he wouldn't have a personal ad. Yeah right.

She and Colin have sex yet again before taking a walk around town. He winds up disappearing inside a bookstore to shop for his niece’s birthday present, and just as she starts thinking someone is watching her, Jack pops up. He tries to ask her out again, Colin walks out, and they all share an awkward moment.

Lindy tells Ann-Marie about Colin and how she really likes him. Ann-Marie also wonders if he's dating someone else because god forbid someone travel for work and leave the girl he just met at home. Shelly then calls and says he got her name from the phone book. He asks her out, she turns him down, he asks again, and she decides that she doesn't have anything concrete with Colin and agrees. The phone rings again, and someone tells her that he'll mess her up if she doesn't keep dating him.

Part Two:

Ann-Marie convinces Lindy that she should call someone after hearing the message, so she calls Tommy, the ex-partner of her former boyfriend. Lindy once dated a cop named Ben who was the tall, blond, blue-eyed version of her. Everyone called them the perfect couple, but Ben was killed on the job.

Tommy comes over, listens to the message, and pretty much just warns her that she should be careful when dating guys online. He calls her again at work just to check in, and she bitches a lot about her job and the other assistant editor she works with.

We then go back to our lovable killer, who is on a date with another girl. She seems absolutely perfect until they stop by a bookstore. He notices that she's a little taller than him, which is a huge turn off, and that she has hands that feel like wet sponges. He takes her into a dark alley and starts to choke her before running away and wishing he took the time to learn more about her ballerina sister.

Lindy keeps thinking about the phone call and decides to make a huge list of what she knows about each guy she dates. All it does is sum up what we already read earlier in the book. The only thing that stands out is that the more she listens to the recording on her answering machine, the more she notices that it sounds like Colin.

Her date with Shelly goes pretty well. He makes her laugh, they goof off together, and he treats her to a hot dog dinner. It's really cute though because he says he's taking her to a gourmet dinner and takes her to a hot dog cart instead. They then meet up with Lou and Ann-Marie at some random club, and afterward, Shelly tries to get her to come home with him.

When she does go home, Lou confronts her in the hallway. He "paws" her breasts, tries to kiss her, and won't let her in the apartment. They fight a little, and she tries to get him to leave. He tells her that the only reason he stays with Ann-Marie is so he can be close to her. She finally gets him in a cab and promises not to tell her friend what happened. When she makes her way to her bedroom, she notices that something seems off. Turns out that someone stole all of her underwear and bras and left behind a note that she deserved better things.

Part Three:

Lindy naturally wakes up Ann-Marie, flipping out over what happened. Ann-Marie thinks it was some stranger, Lindy blames Lou, and all hell breaks loose. Her best friend basically accuses her of shoving her tits in the guy's face when she tells her what happened earlier, and Lindy fucking APOLOGIZES for blaming him.

She does take the note to Tommy, who feels bad for not doing more earlier. She tells him about Lou and the other guys, and he runs background checks on everyone. The only one she knows didn't do it was Shelly because they were together, but she has no idea who could have done it. Tommy tells her not to tell any guy no, so she just keeps making up excuses and putting guys off including Colin.

Cut to yet another date with Shelly. He's once again being a huge goofball and annoying the waitresses in the bar. After joking around, she tries to get serious and ask him about his writing because he told her he was a writer. He keeps being really secretive, and she notices a car fall out of his pocket. It says he's the manager of an electronics store, and she immediately decides she can't trust him because you apparently can't have a full-time job and write at the same time.

She comes home and finds Ann-Marie dead on the floor. Nah, just kidding. She actually has a few cuts and is passed out on the floor. Lindy rushes her to the hospital and calls Tommy. They already dusted her room for fingerprints and looked for signs of a break-in, and now he wonders if things are connected. Ann-Marie tells him that a man came out of nowhere, grabbed her, threw her on the floor, told her to tell Lindy not to tell him no, and knocked her out. The only thing she remembers is that he wore a stocking over his head and had a beard, and Colin is the only one of the guys with a beard.

Part Four:

Since Lindy doesn't listen to anything the police say, she agrees to a date with Colin. She wants to go on a double date with Ann-Marie, but she refuses to be around someone who might have attacked her. Colin takes her out on the town and asks about a note he left her. She flips out, thinking it was the note in her dresser, but he actually sent her a note asking her to go to some holiday party with him.

They get separated outside, she thinks someone is following her, and she runs down a dark alley. Lindy trips and feels someone standing over her, but it's just Tommy. He tells her that he's keeping an eye on her until they find the guy. She asks if she can do anything for him, he suggests dinner, and she wonders if he might like her. Colin then shows up, and she goes back to hoping he's not the stalker.

Back to our killer, who is making out with a girl named Ellen he just met. When they head into her bedroom, she lets her hair down, and he realizes that she looks like his mom. He strangles her in bed and imagines her hair attacking him, so he cuts it off. He then goes through her address book and sends a chunk of her hair to a random name he finds, which is completely and totally sane.

This leads to her going on dates with Colin, Jack, and Shelly before she goes out with Brad again. She keeps acting really odd around him because she thinks he might be the stalker. She also remembers talking to Tommy, who warned her about being careful yet again because that really helps. He is pretty funny though. He tells her that he'll be on the guy like white on rice, she says he hates that joke, so he's says he'll be on him like brown on rice.

While out with Brad, they decide to hang out by the water. Someone pushes her from behind and she falls over the railing. Someone calls for help, and Brad steps up. He finds her bag, buys her a new sweatshirt to warm her up, and gets her a cup of coffee. He tells the cops that he saw someone in a black hooded sweatshirt come out of nowhere, push her, and run away. She's still super suspicious of him because he's totally not Colin, so she asks the cops for a ride home. The stalker calls her again and then thinks that he can't let her go.

Part Five:

Even though they have to share an apartment, the girls somehow have money to rent a house in the Hamptons for the summer. Lou drives them up, but Lindy notices that Ann-Marie keeps snapping at him the whole time. He attacks her again, grabbing her breasts, and trying to kiss her when he gets her alone that night. Ann-Marie comes out and makes it seem like she saw it happen, but she leaves with him anyway.

Jack calls and asks for a date and she says yes, but she goes out with Shelly again too. She wonders why he doesn't kiss her or try to make a move and decides he's probably gay, which makes her feel better since she isn't attracted to him. They go back to the Hamptons, and Ann-Marie rents a car, telling them that she dumped Lou.

Our little stalker takes out a girl named Evan. They once again go back to her place because apparently every single woman in New York City sleeps with men on the first date. I guess Stine never read any chick lit books! He strangles her too, but he thinks that Lindy saw it happen. He decides that it's time to kill her.

While on vacation, Lindy notices that Ann-Marie seems depressed and doesn't want to do anything. She suggests that they go to the movies, but then Brad calls. Even though she didn't tell him where she was, he knows. He's in the Hamptons and suggests they go out. They meet, he takes her to see something special, and she thinks he's taking her into the middle of nowhere to kill him. Instead, he tells her that he got back together with his old girlfriend, and she bursts out laughing.

Our killer then fantasizes about the police coming to his house and killing him. He knows that now is the perfect time to kill Lindy, and he calls to make sure she's home. As he walks to her house, he reveals that he's actually Shelly. Well, damn. He heads to her apartment, she seems to want to kiss him, and he strangles her instead before dragging her into her bedroom and leaving.

Part Six:

Luisa comes home from work and finds no one there. She takes a message for Lindy about how she didn't show up for work and heads into her bedroom where she finds Lindy dead. No, actually she's just asleep and sick with the stomach flu. She doesn't want to go to work, but she thinks she should check on Shelly.

Lindy heads to his apartment, finds the door slightly open, knocks, and walks inside. She sees a piece of hair still attached to a piece of scalp and some body parts, but before she can run, Shelly wanders in. He offers to make her tea, and when he leaves, she runs away and calls Tommy.

Tommy later asks her to meet him at a bar for a talk. He tells her that Shelly confessed to killing six women, but he didn't really kill anyone. Shelly gave them names and addresses, but the women were all still alive. He basically was just fucked in the head and made up a bunch of stories. Oh and all those body parts in his apartment? Yeah, they were totally just mannequins and wigs.

Since things are fine again, she goes to the big office party at the Metropolitan Museum with Colin. After going to the bathroom, she gets turned around and lost. Someone hits her in the dark, she almost falls down, and then she hears the voice again. Colin suddenly shows up, she decides it was him all along, and runs away.

Cut to yet another weekend at the beach house. Lindy and Ann-Marie go to a party, she comes home, and finds that someone stole all of her clothes. She and Ann-Marie go to the beach, and Ann-Marie totally flips out. Turns out that she was behind the really bad stuff because she thought Lindy was trying to steal her boyfriend.

Ann-Marie knocks her down and gets ready to kill her when someone shoves her. It's Shelly because apparently the loonie bin where they sent him is super easy to escape from. He tries to strangle her because he would kill for Lindy, but Lindy stops him. The police come and take Shelly back to the asylum and probably need to take Ann-Marie there too.

We then get a nice little wrap up. Luisa's cousin moves in with them, they talk about how Ann-Marie was probably jealous of Lindy since college, and everything is fine. Lindy loses her job because the publisher gets bought up, but she goes out with Colin. They're now seriously dating and planning a trip together, so I guess having your best friend try to kill you and stalk you for months isn't that much of a setback.