Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Gimme a Kiss (Christopher Pike)



Lieutenant Fisher is in an interrogation room with a young woman named Alice in the hopes of finding out what happened to a group of teenagers. Alice's dad, a prominent local dentist, interrupts and wants nothing more than to take her home, but she decides to stay. She gives him a little information and warns up to him when he offers her a pop. Alice mentions her friend Jane writing in her diary and about how everything she wrote was fantasy.

Cut to Jane writing in her diary. She reads past entries about how she met and started dating her boyfriend Kirk. He walked into an ice cream shop and ordered a banana split right after she did, but she took the last banana, so they split the sundae. They went out a few times, and on one of their dates, she told him to "gimme a kiss." She then reflects on how none of that was true. They really only ran into each other because he didn't have enough to pay for his ice cream, and he asked her out by suggesting that he come over and watch a game because his television was broke.

Before she can write much more, her friend Sharon comes over. They talk about their class trip to the Santa Barbara Islands the following day and how Alice's dad paid for the boat they rented and the trip. She also briefly thinks about how Alice and Kirk once dated before Alice shows up with a wetsuit for Jane. She warns her that it has a rip and that she should use special thread to fix it but that normal thread will work for the weekend before making a cryptic comment about Kirk. Jane also notices that Alice has a new cold sore on her lip and offers her Blistex, which she refuses.

At school later that same day, Jane has a run in with Patty, the head cheerleader. Patty hates her because she wrote an article for the school paper where she called out the football team for sucking and the cheerleaders for spending more time on their hair and make up than cheering. The football and cheer coaches tried to get her kicked off the paper, but the advisor only stopped her from writing sports. Not long after seeing Kirk, she sees Patty flirting with him and then hears directly from her that Patty wants him.

The day gets a lot worse though. One of her friends tries to talk to her about something, realizes that she doesn't know what's going on, and runs away. Patty then confronts her with pages from Jane's diary. Though she denies making the copies, Patty does tell her that she plans to hand out more copies and that Kirk confirmed everything she wrote, including the fact that they had sex.

Jane runs off and finds Alice and Sharon. She swears that they never had sex and that she's still a virgin. They then run into her advisor, who takes them into his office and talks with them about the dangers of sex and tries to give them condoms. Sharon takes a few but only after determining that they really work. Jane escapes and runs into Kirk. He denies talking to Patty at first, but acts so slippery and reveals just enough that she realizes he did say they slept together. Jane slaps him across the face and tells him that he will never kiss her again.

After school, she goes to her job at Dr. Palmer's (Alice's dad's) office. Alice shows up briefly to talk with him about how to use a new piece of equipment. He then gets Jane alone and lectures her on premarital sex and the dangers of boys. Jane asks if Kirk can come on the boat, and when he refuses, she asks him if Kirk can come so he can talk with him about those issues too. He agrees but points out that he tried to talk to him before and that Kirk never listens. Jane then reveals to Alice that she plans to get back at both Kirk and Patty by making them kill her.

Cut to Alice and Fisher. Alice reveals some of the details of Jane's plan and how she wanted to make it look like they pushed her overboard. She also reveals that she saw and read Jane's diary at her house and accidentally arranged it so Jane would take the notebook to school. Alice does deny that she was the one who made copies of the entries though.

While on the boat, Jane goes forward with her plan. Alice tells Kirk that Jane wants to talk to him and tells Patty the same thing. Jane picks a fight with them both, accusing them of sleeping together. She also tells Patty that she has witnesses who can prove Patty stole her diary and made copies and that Patty and Kirk were actually on the date Jane supposedly had sex with him. The fight gets more heated, and as the chaperons start approaching, she calls the other girl a whore. Patty hits her in the head, and Jane goes over the side of the boat.

Jane then swims from the boat, finds a stash of equipment she left for herself earlier, and gets to shore. She walks to her car and drives to a cabin owned by Sharon's parents. Jane plans to hang out all weekend and come back on Monday to reveal it was all a prank. Before that can happen, she sees a report on the news. After she went over the side, Kirk jumped in to look for her. He kept searching even after everyone else gave up hope, and authorities later found his body floating in the water. They think he had a cramp and drowned before help could arrive.

Back at the police station, Alice says that Sharon always knew about the plan but didn't get the chance to tell her until much later. She also says that she thinks he died of the bends. Though she was in the water with him and diving, Alice swears that he didn't use her equipment because they were too far away from each other. Fisher presses her on what she thinks happened, which leads to her breaking down.

Cut to the cabin. The power suddenly goes out and plunges Jane into darkness. She manages to get to one door but can't open it, and when she opens another door, someone fires a gun at her, which breaks the nearby window. While trying to figure out where to go in the house, she finds a loaded gun but doesn't know how to use it. The door opens, and she slams the person over the head with a fire poker only to find out that it was Sharon.

The figure outside then throws in a Molotov cocktail that starts a fire. Jane tries to break a window with a glass jar and breaks the glass instead and finally realizes her only option is to get Sharon and herself upstairs. Though she initially plans on jumping out of a window, she discovers that she'll probably fall to her death on a series of jagged rocks and that there is no change Sharon will survive. After carrying her to the bathtub, Sharon wakes up and mumbles a little before telling Jane she loves her and passing out again. Jane uses her scuba diving equipment to provide Sharon with oxygen and comes up with one last idea.

At the police station, Fisher leaves Alice alone to talk with Patty. After hitting on him multiple times, he finally reveals that they found Jane's body in the burned out shell of the cabin. Patty goes crazy because she thinks he's trying to frame her and reveals that she spent the whole day and night by herself without anyone seeing her. She also tells him that Dr. Palmer had some serious hang ups about sex and hated anyone having sex. He even went off on Patty for getting birth control. Patty thinks he had something to do with what happened to Jane.

Cut to Dr. Palmer himself showing up and demanding that Fisher release Alice. He even insinuates that Fisher did something inappropriate when he wasn't around. Fisher than drives to the cabin and has a look around. On the way out, he sees something silver and finds a bicycle, which leads to him looking for Jane's car. He doesn't find the car, but he does find footprints, tire tracks, and a human body part. Fisher suddenly realizes that Jane had access to medical files and dental records, which were the same things used to identify her body.

Back to Jane, who is now hiding in Alice's closet. She went to the dentist's office, got some cocaine solution and other supplies, and hid in the closet. It turns out that she left Sharon in the cabin, and that's the body they found. Alice and her dad come home, and Jane listens as Dr. Palmer badmouths her and talks about how she's a horrible person. When Alice opens the closet door to grab her nightgown, Jane pulls her in and chloroforms her.

Even though she practically burned off the soles of her feet, she manages to drag an unconscious Alice down the stairs and to her family's guest house. Alice finally wakes up and seems surprised that Jane is still alive. Jane blames her for setting the fire, trying to shoot her, and for what happened to Sharon. She also shows Alice the gun she has.

When she brings up Kirk, Alice has a break down and they fight. Jane gets the upper hand and knocks her down. Jane then reveals that Kirk told her what he did to Alice, and Alice starts crying as she says that he gave "it" to her. Alice finally confesses that she arranged for Patty to find the diary and that she killed Kirk. She took two tanks: one with oxygen and one with laughing gas. When Kirk needed more air, she gave him the laughing gas. He passed out and died when he came up too fast.

Alice keeps playing with something in the room, and Jane eventually realizes that she turned on the gas. When her friend starts talking about lighting a candle, Jane tries to calm her down because she doesn't really want to die. Alice finally cracks and says that Kirk gave her a disease. Jane flips out until Alice points out the cold sores on her mouth and says he gave it to her so that he could get rid of it and that now she has a venereal disease and no one will ever kiss her again, which reminds me so much of that episode of The Office.

Jane laughs at her and tries to tell her that it's just cold sores and that no one gives you a disease to get rid of it themselves. She also rightfully points out that her dad clearly messed her up. Alice keeps trying to light matches as the gas fills the room, but a man suddenly shows up, rushes in, and carries Jane outside. He then goes back and saves Alice.

Though they don't say it, it's Fisher. He comes back to help her up as police show up from all sides. Fisher stops to talk to one cop, tells him that this is the real Jane, and the guy recommends he take her to a witch doctor. Dr. Palmer shows up, starts screaming about how Jane's death was a hoax and he's going to sue the police department, so Fisher pushes him in the swimming pool. As they reach his car, Jane says she doesn't know him, and he tells her it's okay but that he's been thinking about her all night. Aw, I kind of hope those two crazy kids end up together.

It's been awhile since I did a Pike book that wasn't a Spooksville book, and I think I picked a good one. I don't think I read Gimme A Kiss since I was 13 or so, but it actually holds up pretty well!

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