Sweet Valley Twins #95: The Battle of the Cheerleaders

Steven recently decided that he wants to play in the NBA after high school and college but that he needs something to do after retiring. Since coaching sounds like a good idea, he applies for some summer program. The high school coach needs students who can coach younger players. While playing outside by himself, he decides to test himself and teach the twins. They wind up having a lot of fun, but the twins whip his ass.

The next day, the Unicorn Club meets at the park near Jessica's house. Jessica tells them about playing with Steven, but no one believes she beat him, especially Janet who is back to having a big old crush on him. After seeing Bruce and some guys playing horse, Jessica walks over and asks to play. Bruce turns her down, but Aaron speaks up for her. Before long, the whole club and Liz and her friends, who were rollerblading nearby, are all cheering for her. Bruce gets so annoyed at losing to them that he takes off, and the girls play a pickup game.

They have so much fun that they decide to start their own team at SVMS. Unfortunately, the coach tells them that the season is almost over and that he can't help. The guys have complete control over the gym, there's no one to coach them, and they have to apply for a spot on the local school roster. They start holding practices outside, but no one really knows what they're doing. Liz petitions the local whatever and they become a real team called the Honeybees.

Since no one knows what they're doing, they lose their first game by like 30 points or something. The guys think it's super funny, and Bruce makes rude comments about how women should only cheer and not play sports. The guys are also on a winning streak and getting close to the regionals. The Boosters keep showing up and cheering for them, but as spokesman for the boy's team, Bruce says they'll never come to a girl's game.

Jessica gets completely riled up and gets the others riled up too. They tell the boys that they won't come to another game until the guys come to their game. The boys laugh it off until their next game comes. The crowd starts asking where the cheerleaders are, Bruce gets irritated that no one is screaming his name, and they end up losing to a team that hadn't won a game all season.

Steven goes to see the coach and learns that his application was good but that he didn't get one of the positions. The coach explains that he needs someone with more experience. Even though the twins asked him to coach their team, he turned them down. When the coach says if he gets some experience that he can have one of the last jobs, Steven goes back to the twins.

As their coach, he makes them workout all the time. They have practices before and after school, spend all their free time together, and basically start acting like a team. They lose a few more games but eventually start playing better and finally start winning. The boys keep losing and finally agree to come to a girls' game if the Boosters come back.

The guys do come to the game, but not in the way anyone wanted. Jerry spends most of the game reading a magazine, and everyone else spends more time talking than watching. They show up 20 minutes late and leave with 5 or 10 minutes left in the game.

Jessica demands that the whole team go to Bruce's house. Since they won their last game, he hosts a big celebration and makes it seem like they won the championship. He does point out that he had their name added to the victory cake, but it's in tiny letters on the bottom and he called them the wrong name. Jessica swears that the cheerleaders are done with the boys, but Bruce just laughs about how they mean nothing to him.

That must not be true because at the championship game, they're down by 20 or something at halftime. The fans are bored and keep asking for the Boosters. Todd and Aaron finally speak up and tell him that they really do need the Boosters. Since Bruce screwed things up, he has to ask them to come back. He finds them outside practicing and is actually surprised because they barely notice him and are actually acting like a team.

He gets down on his knees and begs them to come back, but they won't budge. No matter what he says, they pretty much ignore him. Jessica finally comes up with an idea of what he can do to get them back. The Boosters come back to the game, and the boys somehow come back and win the game. Bruce ends up crediting the cheerleaders for the win too.

Cut to the Honeybees championship game. The deal Jessica made is actually pretty funny. The whole boys' team has to come out and cheer for them in Boosters uniforms, including a skirt. She storms over to them and yells at them when they don't do a good enough job. The Honeybees win, and the girls all celebrate and talk about how they can't wait to play next season. Too bad the team disappears after this. Oh, and Steven's coach caught the game, sees what a good job he did, and offers him a coaching job, but Steven only agrees if he can coach girls.

*I love that Steven's coach wanted people with experience. How does a freshman in high school get that experience?

*Lila says she will only join the team if they have cuter uniforms than just shorts and tank tops. The only description we get of their uniforms though is a tank top and a pair of shorts.

*Does anyone else find it hard to believe that girls like Lila, Janet, Tamara, and Ellen would sacrifice their mornings and after school time to practice basketball?

*Liz complains that no one comes to their games, and the other girls want to see the stands filled. It sounds mean, but I've never seen a full crowd at a middle school girls' basketball game.

*One of the teams they play has a full cheering section and its own cheerleaders. WTH?

*This whole book is ridiculous! I'm sure the school board would totally approve a brand new basketball team starting three weeks before the end of the season and have teams for them to play. And I'm sure the school doesn't mind the team practicing outside before school starts without any type of advisor or coach watching over them.

*Where the hell are Ned and Alice? There is literally never a mention of them coming to any of the games, but then again, none of the other girls' parents come either. They play one game where there is literally no one in the stands.

*Grace, Winston, and Kimberly agree to start coming to the girls' games and cheering for them as the only remaining Boosters not on the team, and Mary decides to join too.

*I really, really hate Bruce in this book. He is a complete misogynist. He constantly makes comments about how much girls suck at sports, tells them they're only good for cheering him on, and is just a huge ass. It really ticks me off that they go back to swooning all over him in later books.

*Lila's dad once again steps up and buys the uniforms for the whole team. Gee, maybe if they started at the beginning of the season, the school would supply those uniforms.