Sweet Valley Twins #46: Mademoiselle Jessica

Jessica is so sick and tired of Lila constantly bragging about how great she is and how she's super rich. Trust me, if I had to put up with her all the time, I would be too. Her dad recently took her on a trip to Hawaii, so she starts out bragging about that. Her dad then buys a box for the upcoming Dynamo show for her and his clients. Jessica can't stop seething because she thinks the lead singer Nick Englund is super hot and because her family never gets anything.

Later that night, she comes across a contest advertisement in Teenager Magazine, which somehow sounds even more ridiculous than Teen Bop. It's for an all expenses paid family vacation to Paris. The only catch is that the winning entry must be from a French oriented family. Jessica daydreams and fills out the form with her dream family. Her mom is an interior decorator who is also a ballerina and cooks French food. Her dad is a lawyer and a famous artist, and her brother is in a jazz band. She doesn't lie about her and Liz except to say that they speak French at home and do crossword puzzles in French.

Though she doesn't plan to send it, she does leave it sitting out when she runs to the mall with Lila. Liz comes home, sees it on the counter, and decides to mail it for her. Jessica spends a day or so flipping out and running around the house in circles wondering what to do. She eventually gives up and figures the contest probably got so many entries that hers won't matter.

While all this is going on, Lila somehow got it in her mind that Brooke Dennis would be the perfect Unicorn. She tells Janet that Brooke really wants to join, even though Brooke keeps blowing them off. Brooke skips hanging out with Lila multiple times to spend time with Liz and Amy. Janet decides to invite her to join and tasks Mary, Ellen, and Jessica with coming up with her pledge task.

Caroline finds out and spreads the news all over school. Elizabeth is a little hurt because Jessica didn't tell her. Even Todd knows the Unicorns are going to ask Brooke before Liz does. Brooke doesn't believe it until she attends a party in her honor. She asks for a little more time to think about it before making a decision. In the middle of the party, Jessica gets a special delivery that she made the finals of the Paris contest.

Brooke immediately tells Liz, who then goes to Jess. Jess tries to point out that it was technically Elizabeth's fault since she was the one who mailed in the contest form. After some back and forth, Jessica finally approaches her family. Alice is totally on board with them lying after they find out that a woman from the magazine is coming to the house to meet with them. Alice later reveals that she wants them to go all out to teach Jessica a lesson.

Jessica then convinces the Unicorns to make Brooke dress up as a French maid Brookette, help Alice cook dinner, and then serve their dinner as a pledge task. Even more unbelievably, Brooke agrees to it. She then comes over and helps them choose some horrendous outfits to wear, which she claims is totally French. Steven gets black jeans, a black turtleneck, and a black vest with silver metal pieces. Liz gets little black boots, purple jeans with rhinestones, and a black tee. Jessica gets a magenta and green long skirt, magenta shirt, Alice's green plastic jewelry set, and wears her ballet slippers.

Brooke shows up in a French maid uniform and heads into the kitchen. Mrs. Harris, the woman from the magazine, arrives and finds that Steven demolished the house. Jessica spent a few days cleaning, but Alice had him go wild and wreck the house. Alice and Elizabeth make a special dinner with a French name, which turns out to be macaroni and cheese.

Alice then shows up in a leotard, denim skirt, and leg warmers. Everyone works overtime to go all out. Steven grunts, barely talks, and wears his hair in a mohawk style. He then goes upstairs and plays a jazz CD before busting out his own trombone, which sounds awful. Ned also takes them outside and shows them a horrible painting he made. Everyone finally starts laughing. Alice reveals it was all a joke, and Mrs. Harris tells her that since she's not in a French class, she couldn't win the contest anyway. They then have a big laugh at her expense.

It turns out that Mr. Dennis arranged for Alice to redecorate a house that Nick Englund just bought for his parents and gave her four front row tickets. Jess, Liz, Steven, and Brooke all go together. Nick stops in the middle of the concert to pull Jessica on stage and dance with her. That makes up for the magazine sending her a consolation prize of French language tapes.

Jessica calls Lila, who reluctantly admits that she saw Jess on stage. She reveals that the in-box video feed didn't work so she barely saw the stage and there was no food, so she had to go to the concession stand. Lila asks if maybe Jessica could get her a front row ticket next time, and Jessica giggles because she finally won. Oh, and Brooke turned down their invitation to join the Unicorns.

*The place they stayed at in Hawaii was a condo. Given the type of luxury four star hotels and resorts there, I kind of expected more out of Richard.

*Really, he reserves a sky box for his clients, really? Richard doesn't seem like the kind of guy who would do business with clients who would get super excited about seeing a boy band.

*Amy claims she hates the Unicorns because they took advantage of her after her house fire. Yeah, I read that book and that's not what happened. She actually blew off her friends to spend time with them because they made her the center of attention.

*Jessica whines because the shirt and skirt Brooke gives her clashes, and Brooke says it is the height of fashion. I'm not sure how it clashes though because the shirt is literally the same color as one of the colors in the skirt.

*Apparently Alice called and let Mrs. Harris in on the trick/joke. I'm not sure why she would even bother coming, but I also don't think it was that cool of a joke to play on your own kid either.

*Brooke went with Lila to pick out a brand new stereo for her room and hung out with her a few other times. She then acts all shocked that Lila thinks they're friends and she would want to join the club.

*Elizabeth is all upset that Jessica didn't tell her that the Unicorns wanted Brooke as a member, but then she finds out that Alice is decorating a famous person's house who her twin loves and never says a word. Nice double standard.

*It seems really weird to me that these girls go to the mall together all the time and go clothes shopping. Elizabeth even goes with her friends to get new tennis shoes. I'm pretty sure I was a few years older before I went clothes shopping with friends. My mom wouldn't give me $50-100 and send me off on my own.

*Jessica thinks the jeans Liz wears are horrendous. It's purple jeans with a double row of rhinestones down each leg. That sounds like something she would love and something I would have loved at that age.