Sweet Valley High #32: The New Jessica

Jessica absolutely hates being a twin and is tired of people confusing her with Elizabeth, which is why she makes the insane decision to wear her twin's new dress to school. Everyone from Mr. Collins to Jeffrey and Lila get them confused. After giving it like three seconds of thought, she decides that she must make herself over and make her look nothing like her twin. Since Lila's dad is once again out of town, she spends the weekend there.

They use wash out dye to dye her hair (and apparently her eyebrows from the looks of the cover) black. Lila loans her some new clothes her dad brought back from Europe and shows her how to style her hair and do her makeup like a European model. Jessica even affects a new accent to go along with her new look. Everyone seems to love it except for Liz. Her parents figure it's just another Jessica fade and basically ignore it, but Liz spends weeks moping and writing in her journal about how they no longer have anything in common.

This book totally reminds me why I hate Jessica Wakefield. She starts carrying around French magazines and talking about new plays opening up. She then wanders off and thinks to herself that the real play is happening at SVH and how she's the star. Jessica then drops cheerleading and basically only goes to one practice a week. She considers it her backup plan in case she can't launch a modeling career. The agent she meets with thinks she would be perfect for a runway show at the mall but that she needs head shots first. Ned and Alice agree to pay as long as she pays them back later.

Liz suddenly gets it in her head that Jeffrey likes Jessica. He keeps talking about her new look and how much he likes it. There's some big festival coming up that the Wakefields always go to, but Jessica decides she's too old for it now. Jeffrey was looking forward to going until Liz says it's too childish. They then have a fight because she thinks he doesn't want to go because Jessica isn't going. It's annoying. She runs off to write in her journal, only to later realize that her journal is missing.

Elizabeth is so upset that she tells Jessica how Jeffrey likes her now and how she never wants to talk to him again. Since Jessica cares about no one but herself, she decides that he's cute so she might as well go for it. After heaving (heavily) flirting with him, he breaks down about how much he loves Liz. She kind of just abruptly gets off, tells him things will be fine, and takes off without telling her twin what happened.

Jessica convinces Liz to go with her to the modeling appointment. The head of the show decides she doesn't have the look he wants and that she looks too sophisticated, but he absolutely loves the way Liz looks. He offers her the job plus an extra $100 because he likes her that much. He also tells Jessica that they look so different that he can't believe they were twins.

Since this book makes no sense, Jessica washes all the dye out of her hair, changes her clothes, and dresses like Liz. She then shows up on the day of the show and gets the job. Penny shows up at the Wakefield house with Liz's missing journal, which she accidentally grabbed from the newspaper office. Jessica reads it, feels bad at how she treated her twin, and gets her and Jeffrey back together. While watching old family movies, she realizes she always had fun at the fair and suggests that they go again after all. Ugh.

*What the hell kind of hair dye did she use?? Lila says it will wash out after two showers, so Jessica has to keep dying her hair. A friend of mine in high school had light blond hair, dyed it black, and it never came out. You could seriously still see some trace amount months/years later. Jessica just washes her hair once and Poof!, it's gone.

*One of her outfits is three inch heels, a skirt so tight she can barely sit down, patterned hose in a matching green color, a white gauzy blouse, and a big belt. There is so much wrong with this outfit. First of all, how is that appropriate for high school? Second of all, no teenage girl should wear a skirt so tight that she can't sit.

*I do want to point out that everyone freaks out over her shoes and how it looks like she's walking on stilts. I'd love to see what SVH characters think about my four inch stiletto boots. Isn't it funny though that teenagers today wear heels all the time and no one comments on it?

*Her accent is too much. She starts saying darling, dear, and actually a lot because she thinks it makes her sound European. The modeling agent even asks if she grew up in Europe. I like to think she just sounds like a teenager with a cold.

*Liz spends a lot of time thinking about how Jeffrey is the perfect guy for her and how nothing will tear them apart. Poor, poor Jeffrey.

*Jessica gets $600 for the runway show, which includes the $100 bonus, but she owes her parents $100+ for the pictures and $60+ for some store bill. How long do you think the rest lasted her, an hour?

*They make it out like this runway show is a big ass deal and how hundreds of people show up. You would think that someone would have offered her another job because of it, but nope.

*I really hate the way these books address weight. Jessica loses three pounds, which gives her even more of a European model look. At the end, she's all excited that she can eat whatever she wants and gain those three pounds back. No wonder Robin nearly killed herself dieting.