Wednesday, November 16, 2016

The Unicorn Club #19: The Most Beautiful Girl in the World

Rachel is the newest member of the Unicorn Club. Not only is she as rich as Lila, but she's also a little more generous too. While Jessica is hanging out with her, they see an ad for a new chain of spas called Slenderella featuring Katherine Pierce. In case you don't know because I didn't, Katherine Pierce was once the it girl. She modeled, had tons of friends, and even her own show.

The ad lets viewers know that if they sign up as a member, they can enter a contest to spend a weekend enjoying the Katherine Pierce lifestyle. Rachel instantly calls and becomes a member. She then signs up all the other girls. Since she gets one more entry form for each one she buys, Rachel pays for them all. Lila is less than happy about this.

During their first visit, Mrs. Malone, the woman in charge of the club, takes Rachel aside and gushes all over her. Lila gets pissed off until she finds out that she can get entry forms for each purchase she buys. She buys brand new workout outfits for each club member and gets a ton of forms. Mrs. Malone then sets her up to have a private meeting with Katherine.

Katherine tells Lila that she has modeling potential and then goes on and on about the benefits of Slenderella and all its products. Lila pretty much lives off that meeting for days. She doesn't stop talking about it, though she never mentions that Katherine spent more time on her phone than talking to her. Katherine is so busy opening all these spas that she even skips her sister's birthday party.

It quickly turns into a major competition between Lila and Rachel. They both buy a ton of stuff and spend way too much of daddy's money. They both have some private meetings with Katherine, but all she ever talks about is Slenderella and its benefits. Both wind up signing up for a special “custom” program built just for them. Rachel signs up for one to help her lose weight, and Lila signs up for one to enhance her figure.

The other girls aren't quite as serious about the whole thing. They exercise every now and then but mainly just sit around trying to catch a glimpse of Katherine. They also make time to go to the movies or go shopping. Rachel and Lila have so many classes they must attend that they never have time for their friends.

One day, the girls come across Katherine in the locker room. When she finds out they know Rachel and Lila, she immediately starts talking up the Slenderella lifestyle and all the things they need. One service she recommends costs more than they earn in allowance in a year. Mandy starts thinking that maybe Katherine only recommended it because she thought they were rich too.

Mandy has some worries on her mind. Her mom sprung her favorite meal on her right before telling her that she has a check up with her cancer doctor. During her appointment, she hears that doctors rushed Katherine to the emergency room. Mrs. Malone is on hand and tells everyone that another member got her hand caught on a machine but that it absolutely wasn't Katherine. Mandy finds out from her former nurse that it really was Katherine.

She tells Jessica who doesn't really believe her, but they both notice that Katherine stops teaching classes and stops showing up at the spa. Mrs. Malone tells them that she's busy at another spa. They ride there and find out her schedule says she's in Sweet Valley. Mandy and Jessica then spot Katherine at a convenience store, but she looks awful and runs away from them.

When Mandy gets the news that she's cancer free, she also finds out that Katherine is back in the hospital for malnutrition, dehydration, and exhaustion. Her nurse friend breaks multiple laws to tell her what the chart said and her room number. Katherine breaks down crying because her career failed. She couldn't find work at all until the Slenderella opportunity arose. They kept her so busy though and made her follow such a strict routine that she never had time for anything else. When Mandy begs her to come forward with the truth, Katherine tells her that she can't sacrifice her career. Mandy then reveals that she had cancer and that some things are more important than a job.

Rachel is chilling at home when she sees on the news that the contest winner will get a weekend of the same Slenderella lifestyle that Katherine follows. She and Lila commiserate because they both assumed they'd get to go to Hollywood parties and meet celebrities. Both wonder if all the work they put into the program was worth it. Though they try to cancel their membership, Mrs. Malone tells them that she sees potential in them and that they could both be models.

This all ends with the news coming to do a story on the spa. Katherine shows up and admits that they're horrible people. She tells girls to eat healthy and be happy. Malone completely freaks out, and I assume the news cameras chase her around like a Benny Hill skit. Katherine then gets a brand new job as a consumer rights reporter for a local Sweet Valley station and invites the Unicorns to celebrate at a party with all her famous friends.

*Rachel's house has a huge screening room with a professional popcorn maker and soda fountain. I would totally have this in my dream home, but I would skip the family branded cups and popcorn bowls they use.

*Her dad also creates custom labels with their family name for all their movies, which is kind of overkill.

*Enhancing her figure really means getting bigger boobs. Mandy keeps seeing Lila peeking down the front of her shirt LOL.

*Lila literally has two exercise classes every day on top of school. How would any company think that is acceptable for a seventh grader?

*Mandy's favorite meal is lasagna with garlic bread and avocado salad. One of these things is not like the other...

*So Katherine has no career anymore but can somehow get all her famous friends to come out for a random party? Also, is she really old enough to be a TV reporter? Who wants to see some teenage girl advising you of your rights?

*The programs Lila and Rachel follow include “energy/meal replacement” drinks, visualization therapy, exercise classes, and seaweed wraps and treatments like that.

*In a truly creepy moment, Rachel finds out that her visualization therapy sessions have a two-way camera in the room with a therapist actually watching her. When she tries to skip out early, the woman starts screaming at her through the television.

*I totally have the Prince song stuck in my head right now...

*Lila an Rachel keep falling for this crap because Katherine and Malone tell them they have model potential. All they really get from it though is the chance to be in her exercise class when the television films it. Lila gets all excited because she appears on screen for like five seconds but then realizes that even after months of following the program, she looks exactly the same.

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