Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Sweet Valley Twins #41: The Twins Get Caught

The twin's grandparents are coming for a visit, which naturally means that Elizabeth can't wait to see them and Jessica things it's a huge pain. She's got stuff to do yo. The Unicorns have a bunch of meetings, Lila wants to go shopping, and she just can't be bothered to deal with with the people who are responsible for her mother. Elizabeth's also a little worried because she knows they're getting up there in years. She thinks that they'll probably be too tired to do anything with them.

The first night they get there, her grandmother loses her glasses that are on her head, and her grandfather falls asleep on the couch. They also complain about going up the stairs, which flips out Liz. She gets up early the next day to make them boiled eggs and oatmeal, which no one else in the house likes. She basically goes overboard to make things easier for them, bringing them slippers, hanging a shawl out for her grandma, and being a pain.

This all changes when her grandpa shows up in a jogging suit with a matching one for her grandma. They reveal that they usually go for a jog around the block every day. Turns out that they were just tired from the flight and don't really need her help. She feels a little better about them, but Jessica keeps avoiding them.

Someone recently opened a new teen club appropriately called The Hangout. Word spreads that Aaron Dallas is planning a big party, and guess where he chooses to have it? Too bad the twins can't go! Steven shows up late to dinner one night with a black eye. Turns out that he was at The Hangout, some guys started picking on a little guy, and Steven stood up for him. All the guys got tossed out, but the Wakefields decided that the club isn't safe and has no supervision, so they forbid the twins from going to the party.

At the same time, Jessica really wants to get her ears pierced. Lila got hers done and now has a spiffy pair of silver Unicorn earrings, and the other members of the club want to get the same ones. Alice has a rule that the twins can't get their ears pierced until they turn 12, and no matter how much Jessica begs, she refuses to change her mind. When her grandmother tells her that she got hers done when she was 11 and doesn't think there's anything wrong with it, Jessica runs out and gets hers done.

Alice is extremely pissed that Jessica went against her rule, but she doesn't punish her when her own mother takes the blame. Jessica is all buzzing over her new earrings and because Todd Wilkins seems to like her. He keeps coming up to talk to her, asking her if she and Liz are coming to the party, and generally just being around. Everyone convinces her that this must me that he like-likes her.

While talking on the phone, Lila makes it clear that she would sneak out of the house and make her twin go too. Jessica decides this is a great idea and tells Liz, but their grandparents overhear. They make them tell their parents that they planned to sneak out. Alice and Ned decide to ground them, but them grandma won't shut her mouth. She talks about how they once forbid Alice from attending a party at a skating rink because of a similar issue and how the "light" went out of her eyes for weeks. They all feel so bad that they decide to let the twins go to the party after all.

Todd walks up and asks Jessica to dance once, which seems strange. Caroline sees and tells everyone that he has a crush on Jessica. She then talks to everyone about how they were dancing all night and are the hottest couple in the school. People are so excited that Jessica might have a boyfriend that they forget all about the pierced ear thing and just want to talk about her.

Their grandparents surprise them at the end of the book with tickets to a Darcy Chapman concert. Grandpa reveals that he's been listening to the rock station all week long because he couldn't figure out how to change the station on Jessica's radio. The twins and Steven go to the concert with them, but Jessica is already whining and complaining that their parents treat them like babies because they won't let them go to see their cousin Robin on their own.

*Elizabeth mentions that her grandparents are older than the people they saw on television in their 60s. Is it weird that I spent like five minutes trying to figure out how old they have to be for this book to match the Sweet Valley Confidential time frame?

*It's kind of sweet that their grandparents bought a matching set of jogging suits.

*Why do the kids always get their ears pierced in these books without any trouble? I was around the same age at the time, and I had to have my mother actually with me before they would do it.

*I find it hard to believe that the Wakefields would be the only parents upset at what happened at the club. Steven is several years older and leaves with a black eye, but all the other parents think it's fine to let their preteens go to a party there.

*I actually went to get my ears pierced when I was 11 and freaked out when I saw the gun. I ended up crying and running away from the poor lady. Finally got my ears pierced when I was slightly older, had an allergic reaction, and my ears actually swelled up so bad that they "swallowed" the earrings. A doctor had to surgically cut the earrings out of my ears. Stupid me tried two more times before discovering that I couldn't wear many, many types of metals. I now have two holes in each ear (I'm totally like Dawn!). Oddly enough, I did have both my eyebrows pierced at different times without any strange reactions.

*It's nice to know that the twins, especially Jessica, don't receive any type of punishment. She goes against her mom's wishes even after pestering her throughout the entire book and knowing that she can't do it, but she gets away with it anyway.

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Point Thriller: Nightmare Hall #19: The Coffin (Diane Hoh)

The Coffin starts out with some random crazy guy (or gal?) talking to himself. He keeps mentioning that he hates the dark and hates being kept away. I think I'll just stick with he from right now because I'm not even sure how many chicks are in this book! It then jumps to some random housekeeper named Mavis cleaning up at work when someone grabs her from behind and kills her.

Then we get introduced to Tanner, the main character of the book. Tanner lives with her dad because he's a professor at Salem University, which means she gets free tuition. After her parents divorced, she moved in with her dad. Her dad is incredibly strict and mean, while her mom is wild and crazy. Her dad also teaches psychology, and most of her friends took his class and did really bad.

She thinks about how her dad has this fancy music room because he plays 11 instruments, while she only plays one. She hates the room so much that she rarely goes in there. Her friends all try convincing her that she should throw a big party because her dad is out of town. Tanner kind of agrees but not really.

When she gets home, she finds the house empty even though her housekeeper Silly should be there. Tanner finds a big chocolate cake with a piece gone and a note from Silly saying she left her ice cream signed with her real name of Mavis. Duh du duh duh. Tanner gets a little upset because Silly didn't leave her dinner so poor her has to make her own sandwich.

While wandering around the house, she finds Silly's purse on the couch. Thinking she went to the dentist because she complained multiple times about a bad tooth, she locates the dentist and calls him, but she isn't there. Someone appears out of nowhere, throws a bag over her head, and knocks her out.

Tanner wakes up locked in the music room with a dude in a Halloween mask sitting across from her. He makes her write a note that says she decided to leave town and go with her mother on a trip to the Orient. He makes a bunch of vague and threatening statements about her, and lets her know that her friends will believe her note because he's leaving it on the mailbox. When he leaves, he casually mentions that he killed her housekeeper.

Tanner's boyfriend Charlie calls her friends Jodie and Sandy because he tried calling her and no one answers. Sandy mopes around about how she wishes she had a guy like Charlie, while Jodie tries to get him calmed down. He goes over to her house and finds the note, and she sees everything because apparently her dad has security cameras set up so he can keep an eye on things outside.

Tanner gets all mopey about how she can't put on socks or get a snack, but she still manages to get some sleep. The guy shows up the next day with a bunch of wood, nails, and a hammer, and he starts making a huge box. He demands that she get in it, and when she doesn't, he picks her up by her hair and throws her in it. He puts the lid on, nails it in place, and leaves her.

When he comes back, he lets her out of the box and suggests she eat something. They head into the kitchen, but when he mentions ice cream, she finally realizes that he killed Silly. It probably helps that she sees her scarf hanging out from the lid of the freezer. Dude tells her to open the freezer, she refuses, he tells her to do it again, shoves her into the freezer, and when she sees Silly's body, she passes out.

Charlie talks to his friend Vince who conveniently knows all about Silly and where she lives. He decides to go to Tanner's house and look for clues, but he hears a noise in the background. A motorcycle comes out of nowhere and knocks him down. Vince, their friend Phillip, Jodie, and Sandy all see him in the hospital, and he keeps moaning about Tanner.

Cut to Tanner back in the music room. The guy comes back and makes 957 comments about how he knows her dad. Turns out that her dad knew the dude was crazy and tried to help him. He keeps putting her in the "coffin" and taking her out before leaving again. She tries to get help by hurling lamps and other things at the windows in the room, but her dad used shatter-proof glass.

Tanner sees the ambulance lights and gets close enough to the windows, which are like eight feet off the ground, to see what's going on. She screams and cries, but no one can hear her because the room is soundproof. Oh, and she cries for pages and pages about Silly. The guy comes back, lectures her on making a mess, puts her in the coffin, and lets her out again.
Jodie goes back to the house and realizes that if Tanner really left, she'd take a lot of stuff, but there's nothing missing from her room. After some thought, she wonders if Tanner fell asleep in the music room and accidentally locked herself in the room. She writes a note and slips it under the door, and Tanner responds. She promises to get her best friend out, but then the guy pops up behind her.

The next time the guy tosses her in the coffin, Tanner realizes he did a really shitty job of putting it together and she can actually feel some of the nails coming loose. She starts slowly pulling the nails out with her hands and feet, doing even more damage to her poor feet, which she screwed up by walking on the broken glass from the lamp. She gets enough out that she can create an opening in the back that she can squeeze through.

Charlie keeps calling the hotel where her dad is, but he is never in his room. He does finally get in touch with him, and the professor tells him about one student that he had institutionalized. The kid got out when his insurance was up, and he's back at Salem. Tanner's dad finally realizes that something is wrong, but Charlie lies to him. He talks to a cop, and the cop goes over to her house. He doesn't think anything is wrong even though he finds the back door unlocked and standing open.

The guy comes back to the music room, Tanner slips out, and waits for him to open the coffin lid. When he does, she rushes out and slams the lid on him except that she realizes he has the only key to unlock the music room door. She manages to get her hand inside the coffin enough to get out the keys.

Right when she reaches the door, she turns and sees Phillip. See, this is what I hate about the Nightmare Hall books: the villain is always someone who is barely in the book. I think Phillip is only mentioned twice, but suddenly, Tanner thinks about how if she didn't start dating Charlie, she probably wound have ended up with Phillip. She gets to the door and manages to get out and lock it from the other side.

The book ends with the gang sitting around in the hospital. Jodie was safely found in the basement because Phillip could apparently kill the housekeeper but no one else. Someone mentions seeing him on a motorcycle that he borrowed from the garage where he worked on the day someone hit Charlie, and they all think it's sad. Then, they all joke about Tanner throwing a party because Salem is apparently close enough to Sweet Valley that after almost dying, you should tots have a party!

Friday, November 15, 2013

The Baby-Sitters Club #14: Hello, Mallory

Mallory Pike is finally ready to join the BSC. She wants to dress cool like all the other girls do, but she only has a limited wardrobe. She can't stop thinking about it all day, but she does get distracted by new student Jessica Ramsey. It seems like Mallory never had a best friend before, and she wonders if this girl might be her new friend. The only downside is that some of the other students make fun of her because she's black.

Mallory gets to brag at the meeting about how she sat for a bunch of her siblings. Buddy and Nicky were playing outside, Buddy hit the ball, and Nicky broke his finger trying to hit it back. Her parents left her in charge while they took him to the emergency room. The BSC blame her and decide to make her go on a test job and come back the next day for a real test.

While heading to her test, she runs into Jessica, who tells her that she can call her Jessi. She meets Squirt and Becca, and Jessi gives her a tour of her house. They agree to swap books and hang out, but she has to run to her test. The test is actually incredibly hard and unfair. They ask her the difference between creeping and crawling, when a baby cuts its first tooth, which teeth a baby cuts first, about tourniquets, and she has to draw a picture of the digestive system.

Mallory sits at the Perkins house with Claudia and everything goes wrong. She knocks over milk, lets Chewy in the house when she wasn't supposed to, and Claudia acts like she's a horrible person. When she asks Gabby about being a new big sister, she starts crying, which ticks off Claudia even more. Mallory does get the girls playing and laughing again though.

At the next meeting, Claudia gets super uppity about the sitting job. Kristy also points out that she failed the test, and Mallory points out that it wasn't fair. They have a huge fight, and Mallory says that she'll quit. Kristy says she can't quit because she isn't a member but fires her anyway.

Mallory ends up running into Jessi at school the next day, and they decide to form their own club. They model the BSC, make up fliers, and pass them out around town. They also decide to call the club Kids Incorporated. They get jobs from their own families but none from anyone else.

Dawn discovers their club while sitting for the Barretts. Suzi wants to bring Claire with them to the brook, but she makes up excuses and watches them work. She then finds one of their fliers and tells Kristy. Kristy calls and warns them they won't get any jobs and feels a little freaked out. The BSC realizes that they need help and invite her to a meeting, but she'll only come if Jessi can too.

The meeting goes really well until Jessi worries about what other people will think because she's black. She tells them about the woman who wouldn't let her daughter play with Becca and the stares she gets around town. Kristy says that she wouldn't sit for anyone like that and the other girls agree. They each have to go on one test job to get in the club.

Mallory sits for Jamie and Lucy, and Claudia has to run home to help Mimi. While trying to help the repairman, she sees Jamie fall from his swing. She manages to calm him down even though other kids are there playing too. Claudia sees it all happen and lets her know that she'll probably be their newest member.

*Mallory wears a red jumper with her name on it, a white blouse, and white tights with red hearts for her first meeting. Kristy says in the notebook that she doesn't need to get dressed up for meetings, which makes me wonder if she's ever seen how Claudia dresses.

*The next day, Mallory just wears jeans and a sweatshirt that says, "I'd rather be writing my novel."

*Jessi tells a joke about a penguin that I actually told my friends and we all cracked up laughing. We are all in our late twenties or early thirties LOL.

*Mallory tells them that Claire cut her first teeth at eight months, but they don't care because the answer they know is seven months, and Kristy gets snippy with her. I really want to punch her in the face.

*Mr. Perkins tells the girls that he "might" take them to Dunkin' Donuts. Mallory asks what they want for a snack, and Myriah says cookies. That ticks off Claudia, who lectures her on how one sweet thing is enough for the day. (A) He didn't say for sure that he would take them there so she's just getting their hopes up, and (B) he didn't say not to give them any sweets.

*Claudia calls it the divestive system at least twice, and she confuses soy formula with soy sauce. And they're worried about letting Mallory sit?

*You have to love Jessi, who points out that calling your babysitting club the baby-sitters club is like calling your restaurant The Restaurant.

*Don't try telling me that the ghostwriter didn't know about Kids Incorporated. I know that I watched that show long before I started reading BSC books.

*Charlotte is really cute in this book. She peeks through the hedges until Mallory sees her, asks to play with Becca, and gives Jessi banana bread for her family.

*The racism theme really slaps you in the face in this book. Literally everyone in town except the BSC, their families, and Charlotte's family immediately hates Jessi and her family because they're black.

Monday, November 11, 2013

Sweet Valley High #143: Party Weekend!

I never read the book before this one, but the beginning pretty much sums it up. Elizabeth was supposed to go to prom with Devon, but she asked Jessica to help her so she could go with both Devon and Todd. Todd took Courtney Kane to make Elizabeth jealous, but they ended up spending time together. Devon found out the truth and hung out with Lila, so everyone pretty much hates everyone.

Enter the Battle of the Junior Class, a totally made up event where different schools compete against each other the weekend after prom. Everyone is conveniently at Lila's house for a big pool party when Ken Matthews and Olivia Davidson show up with news about this year's event. It's a random talent show where each school can basically do anything they want.

SVH kids immediately start fighting over what to do, but they finally decide on a dance thingy, whatever. The only rule is that they can only have eight students participate. Sweet Valley winds up with Liz, Jess, Devon, Ken, Olivia, Lila, Maria, and Winston. Devon makes and decorates the sets, while Ken just runs errands, so Winston is the only one in the show.

They show up at Palisades High and find someone else in their assigned practice space. The girls from El Caro refuse to leave, and their leader, Erica, even makes a few rude remarks about Olivia's clothing. Since Olivia is a huge pushover, she just meekly walks away and agrees to practice somewhere else. One of the few adults in charge shows up, Erica lies about SVH agreeing to trade with them, and Olivia just goes along with her story. The one bright spot is a girl named Tia who tries to be friendly to them.

This book is so horrible that I think I'll just give each person a different paragraph. Liz thinks that being in the show will give her time to spend with Devon, but he just kind of ignores her. They randomly touch a few times, and he jumps away like she's on fire. They finally end up alone and almost kiss, but Devon tells her that he's basically sick of her jerking him around. He decides that they shouldn't date because she clearly isn't over Todd.

Jessica runs into this hot guy named Josh from Palisades. She does some hardcore flirting with him, but then she starts see Christian everywhere. Josh comes to pick her up from the date, brings Christian, and she passes out. Just messing with you. It's actually Christian's brother who she never met before. He was at the school visiting old friends.

Ken has a run-in with Erica and since she helps him pick up stuff he dropped, he thinks she's cool. He mentions this to Olivia and keeps mentioning it even after she tells him that Erica was rude to her. Erica does it again when he's not around, and Jessica spills grape juice all over her shirt. Ken then asks Olivia when she's going to apologize for what Jessica did.

Olivia immediately turns into one of those whiny and needy girls. She thinks that Ken wants someone pretty and popular like one of the Wakefield twins. She cancels on him for the dance and gets annoyed that he doesn't offer to stay with her, and she cries multiple times because it's clear that he doesn't love her anymore. Olivia even tells Liz that they're about to break up.

The girls have multiple encounters with the El Caro girls, and they find that the school ruined their sets with orange and black paint. They only find out because Tia tells to check it out at the dance. Everyone freaks out about the costumes, but Olivia took them home with her. They also decide to do something in return.

Jessica sees Christian in her room that night, and he tells her that he came back to warn her about rivalries and what could happen. She doesn't think he's really there, but they make out and fall asleep cuddling in her bed. When she wakes up, she calls the other girls and cancels the plan. Oh, and she also finds out from Josh that his school plans to do something special and have a slideshow that ends on a picture of Christian.

Their whole special performance involves a twin dance thingy, but on the day of the show, Jessica gets wicked sick. While she's throwing up, she tells Olivia to take her place. This also involves having a harness attached to you and dropping from the catwalk. Olivia flips out but agrees to do it.

Ken, who can't figure out why Olivia is pissed at him, tells Todd all about how nice Erica is while helping him. They hear some El Caro girls talking about screwing up the big show, follow them, and learn that Erica plans to turn off the lights when Jessica gets to the catwalk. He suddenly realizes that Erica is a huge bitch and runs to help. They find Olivia on the catwalk, the lights go out, and he goes up to rescue her. Yeah I know, it doesn't make sense to me either. Olivia apparently can't walk two feet in the opposite direction or stand there.

Ken and Todd drag Erica out on stage and tell everyone what happened. She fake cries, her boyfriend runs up, and he threatens to knock Ken down. A bunch of other people rush over to fight, Jessica flips out, and she begs Josh to put on the slideshow with the picture of Christian. Seeing his face reminds all the SVH people of what happened. The SVH students stop fighting, the Caro kids make fun of them, and then a bunch of Palisades kids stand up for the SVH students.

Suddenly, we're at the Dairi Burger. Palisades won by having someone read a poem over their slideshow. Um, okay? Jessica and Jason stand behind with Josh for pictures of the winners. Wait, what? They show up just in time to celebrate. Even though five seconds ago they all thought Olivia was about to die, now they just want to talk about the twins' upcoming birthday party.

*Did every school in your county have prom at the same time? All of the schools in my area have proms at some point within a one-month span but not on the same night or weekend.

*Liz says that she's doing the noble thing and she'd do anything for Devon even if it meant walking away so he can be happy. Um, that's nice of you Liz given that he already ended things with you when you decided that.

*So, Christian had a brother who looked almost exactly like him and never bothered to tell her that? I know that he mentioned his brother was super smart and pretty much just like Liz, but I find it hard to believe that he would have a doppelganger.

*Oh, and Jason (the brother) was in boarding school, which is why he didn't come back for his brother's funeral. Hm, pretty sure they would give you time off for that.

*Jessica is pretty ballsy in this book. She thinks about how Ken deserves someone pretty and peppy like her instead of Olivia. Maybe if you hadn't cheated on him...

*She also wonders why they broke up. Seriously? With all your sudden memories of Christian, you would think that she'd remember cheating on her boyfriend with him.

*Why is it that the girls in these books always think about how they're cheating on their boyfriends with new guys? You're also cheating on your new guys with your boyfriends. Ever think about it that way?

*Olivia agrees to make costumes for everyone in the show. Seriously? She can make eight costumes in less than two days?

*I don't understand this at all. Each team needs eight people, but what the hell did eight people do to make a slideshow and read a poem? And why did that win when they made a huge deal about how people spent hours working on this?

*And why did Jessica have to stay after if they were only taking pictures of the winners? She clearly didn't win anything.

*I love how some of these books use the twin thing because it gives them an advantage, like how no other school has ever seen twins before. Look, I went to a high school that had roughly 300 people total and even we had a set of twins.

*I am so glad I stopped reading these books around the 120 mark. I think I would have gone crazy later on in the series.

*It's convenient how Jessica suddenly never got over Christian's death. How many guys has she dated since he died?

*Ah yes, and she apparently had Christian's surfboard on display in her room since his mother gave it to her after his funeral. I'm pretty sure that would have popped up at some point.

Friday, November 8, 2013

The Baby-Sitters Club #122: Kristy in Charge

SMS announces yet another cool project for its students: Teachers of Tomorrow. The TOT program lets kids take over for teachers, and Kristy thinks it sounds like a great idea. She immediately volunteers, but her homeroom teacher lets her know that they have to fill out applications on Monday. Abby thinks she's crazy, but Mallory and Mary Anne are all for it.

Mallory actually fills out her application, and Kristy kind of reads over her shoulders and copies a little. She says that she would really like to teach physical education. Even though Kristy always loved Ms. Walden, in this book she thinks that she's boring and kind of mean, so she naturally gets assigned her class.

Kristy thinks it will be super easy and points out that she's tired of boring classes and teachers telling them what to do all the time. The only problem is that Cary gets assigned Mr. DeYoung's class, and both teachers were working together on a new lesson. She asks if they can work separately, but the teachers refuse. They even warn her that not all teachers like each other, which surprises her.

For part of their assignment, they need to make a lesson plan. Kristy thinks that gym is easy, so she won't need a lesson plan. She shows up with a warm up routine she made up by watching aerobics tapes, but no one really listens to her. Cary goofs off, the kids follow him, and Mr. DeYoung has to step in to get control back.

Kristy thinks that everything that goes wrong is because of Cary. Ms. Walden gives her a few tips, which she promptly ignores. She thinks that kids hate gym just because of the way the teacher acts. She and Cary try to play soccer, but when they divide up the teams, all hell breaks loose. Mr. DeYoung has to step up again after the kids actually fight, and they both end up in the principal's office. He basically tells them that they need to do better or else.

Mallory gets assigned eighth grade English, which flips her out. She thinks it must be a mistake, complains to the teacher, and he does nothing. She totally messes up in class, can't keep things organized, and the kids revolt. Kristy and Mary Anne try to help, but the kids won't listen to her. They nickname her Spaz Girl and it spreads through the school.

Kristy comes up with a passing game that she shows to Cary. They both write up a lesson plan because Ms. Walden tells her she has to make one, and class goes well. The teachers decide that they need well enough to finish the program.

Vanessa picks up on the teaching theme and decides to subject her siblings to poetry class. This basically involves them sitting around while she lectures them and yells at them, but no one does anything to stop her. Nicky and Margo end up typing her legs and arms together with plastic handcuffs and leaving her behind a chair. Abby finally convinces her to make learning fun, and the other kids agree to start writing again.

*Did anyone go to a school with separate gym classes? I always had classes with asshole guys, but I think if I had gym classes with just girls, I probably would have done a lot better.

*Stacey naturally teaches math, and Mary Anne winds up in social studies, which seems about right.

*Why would Mallory even agree to teach? She clearly doesn't get along with most of the kids in her grade, and she doesn't seem to do well in front of crowds.

*Then again, sending a sixth grader to tell eighth graders what to do sounds like a bad idea.

*Vanessa says that you can't write a poem about soccer because nothing rhymes and then flips out when they tell her that not all poems rhyme.

*The vice principal is all shocked that Kristy is in his office because she never, ever does anything bad. Didn't we learn that she often punched Alan or threatened him when they were kids?

*Kristy briefly considers making the other BSC members use lesson plans for sitting jobs. That would be the moment I quit.

Monday, November 4, 2013

Eye Candy (R.L. Stine)

This post is getting TONS of attention due to the MTV television show. For those who recently found my blog, please keep in mind that this review is nearly two years old. I'll comment when you comment, but I've read so many books since then that this one isn't very fresh in my mind.

Part One:

Eye Candy opens with our unknown killer out on a date with a girl named Alesha who he met through a dating website. Every time she asks him a question, he responds and thinks to himself how he's lying to her. After coffee, they decide to grab dinner, but he can't help looking at her man hands, which he calls Hulk hands, and how she laughs just like his mom.

They head back to her apartment, and she immediately throws herself at him. They kiss a little and he then proceeds to choke her to death in her apartment. As if that wasn't enough, he takes a knife from her kitchen and cuts off each of her fingers, thinking they feel like asparagus. The killer then reveals that he can always find women just like Alesha online. Kind of fitting for the times, isn't it?

Then we get to meet Lindy who is the main character in the book and is also on a date with Jack. He takes her to a play he has free tickets to, and she winds up hating it. He takes her to dinner at a place his dad does PR for so they eat for free, and at the end of the night, he wants to walk back to her apartment. She keeps thinking about how he's cheap, and when he kisses her goodnight, she turns her head.

Lindy thinks back on how her roommates convinced her to try online dating. Luisa works in a bar and brings guys home all the time, while Ann-Marie has a boyfriend named Lou, who frequently checks out Lindy right in front of his girlfriend. Ann-Marie actually made the ad and put it up for her, they laugh at all the responses, and she picks three guys to go out with. She also lets us know that one of these guys will try to kill her.

Speaking of our killer, he gets another chapter too. He reads the article about the girl he killed and thinks he should have paid more attention to her because he couldn’t remember her job and barely remembered her name. His mom calls, and he tells her all about how the newspaper ran a story on him before deciding he should find another girlfriend.

Date number two is with this guy Brad. He takes her to a sports bar where they can barely hear each other, and they go to a comedy club. She's 5'11" and hates people thinking she's a dumb blonde, while he laughs at all the dumb blonde jokes. At the end of the date, he kisses her so hard that she has to forcibly push him away and then says he tripped and fell.

She comes home, complains about the date, and sees Lou checking her out again, but none of that matters because it's time for a date with Colin. They meet in a bar, and she approaches him. They talk, share a few laughs, and then she realizes he isn't her date. Apparently, her calling him Colin doesn't register in the guy's head. Sandy gives her his number and asks her to call him.

Somehow, she has a fast connection to Colin. They both love movies, and he won't talk about anything but movies and cartoons, which kind of sounds like my perfect date! They wind up going back to his apartment, which is naturally big and gorgeous, and she has sex with him, but she still leaves without spending the night. When she gets home, she hears someone moving through the dark, but when she calls out, no one answers.

Lindy later says that it was just Ann-Marie coming home late from a date. She heads out on a date with Colin, and when he mentions going out of town the next weekend, she immediately wonders if he's secretly married. Then she decides he can't be with someone because he wouldn't have a personal ad. Yeah right.

She and Colin have sex yet again before taking a walk around town. He winds up disappearing inside a bookstore to shop for his niece’s birthday present, and just as she starts thinking someone is watching her, Jack pops up. He tries to ask her out again, Colin walks out, and they all share an awkward moment.

Lindy tells Ann-Marie about Colin and how she really likes him. Ann-Marie also wonders if he's dating someone else because god forbid someone travel for work and leave the girl he just met at home. Shelly then calls and says he got her name from the phone book. He asks her out, she turns him down, he asks again, and she decides that she doesn't have anything concrete with Colin and agrees. The phone rings again, and someone tells her that he'll mess her up if she doesn't keep dating him.

Part Two:

Ann-Marie convinces Lindy that she should call someone after hearing the message, so she calls Tommy, the ex-partner of her former boyfriend. Lindy once dated a cop named Ben who was the tall, blond, blue-eyed version of her. Everyone called them the perfect couple, but Ben was killed on the job.

Tommy comes over, listens to the message, and pretty much just warns her that she should be careful when dating guys online. He calls her again at work just to check in, and she bitches a lot about her job and the other assistant editor she works with.

We then go back to our lovable killer, who is on a date with another girl. She seems absolutely perfect until they stop by a bookstore. He notices that she's a little taller than him, which is a huge turn off, and that she has hands that feel like wet sponges. He takes her into a dark alley and starts to choke her before running away and wishing he took the time to learn more about her ballerina sister.

Lindy keeps thinking about the phone call and decides to make a huge list of what she knows about each guy she dates. All it does is sum up what we already read earlier in the book. The only thing that stands out is that the more she listens to the recording on her answering machine, the more she notices that it sounds like Colin.

Her date with Shelly goes pretty well. He makes her laugh, they goof off together, and he treats her to a hot dog dinner. It's really cute though because he says he's taking her to a gourmet dinner and takes her to a hot dog cart instead. They then meet up with Lou and Ann-Marie at some random club, and afterward, Shelly tries to get her to come home with him.

When she does go home, Lou confronts her in the hallway. He "paws" her breasts, tries to kiss her, and won't let her in the apartment. They fight a little, and she tries to get him to leave. He tells her that the only reason he stays with Ann-Marie is so he can be close to her. She finally gets him in a cab and promises not to tell her friend what happened. When she makes her way to her bedroom, she notices that something seems off. Turns out that someone stole all of her underwear and bras and left behind a note that she deserved better things.

Part Three:

Lindy naturally wakes up Ann-Marie, flipping out over what happened. Ann-Marie thinks it was some stranger, Lindy blames Lou, and all hell breaks loose. Her best friend basically accuses her of shoving her tits in the guy's face when she tells her what happened earlier, and Lindy fucking APOLOGIZES for blaming him.

She does take the note to Tommy, who feels bad for not doing more earlier. She tells him about Lou and the other guys, and he runs background checks on everyone. The only one she knows didn't do it was Shelly because they were together, but she has no idea who could have done it. Tommy tells her not to tell any guy no, so she just keeps making up excuses and putting guys off including Colin.

Cut to yet another date with Shelly. He's once again being a huge goofball and annoying the waitresses in the bar. After joking around, she tries to get serious and ask him about his writing because he told her he was a writer. He keeps being really secretive, and she notices a car fall out of his pocket. It says he's the manager of an electronics store, and she immediately decides she can't trust him because you apparently can't have a full-time job and write at the same time.

She comes home and finds Ann-Marie dead on the floor. Nah, just kidding. She actually has a few cuts and is passed out on the floor. Lindy rushes her to the hospital and calls Tommy. They already dusted her room for fingerprints and looked for signs of a break-in, and now he wonders if things are connected. Ann-Marie tells him that a man came out of nowhere, grabbed her, threw her on the floor, told her to tell Lindy not to tell him no, and knocked her out. The only thing she remembers is that he wore a stocking over his head and had a beard, and Colin is the only one of the guys with a beard.

Part Four:

Since Lindy doesn't listen to anything the police say, she agrees to a date with Colin. She wants to go on a double date with Ann-Marie, but she refuses to be around someone who might have attacked her. Colin takes her out on the town and asks about a note he left her. She flips out, thinking it was the note in her dresser, but he actually sent her a note asking her to go to some holiday party with him.

They get separated outside, she thinks someone is following her, and she runs down a dark alley. Lindy trips and feels someone standing over her, but it's just Tommy. He tells her that he's keeping an eye on her until they find the guy. She asks if she can do anything for him, he suggests dinner, and she wonders if he might like her. Colin then shows up, and she goes back to hoping he's not the stalker.

Back to our killer, who is making out with a girl named Ellen he just met. When they head into her bedroom, she lets her hair down, and he realizes that she looks like his mom. He strangles her in bed and imagines her hair attacking him, so he cuts it off. He then goes through her address book and sends a chunk of her hair to a random name he finds, which is completely and totally sane.

This leads to her going on dates with Colin, Jack, and Shelly before she goes out with Brad again. She keeps acting really odd around him because she thinks he might be the stalker. She also remembers talking to Tommy, who warned her about being careful yet again because that really helps. He is pretty funny though. He tells her that he'll be on the guy like white on rice, she says he hates that joke, so he's says he'll be on him like brown on rice.

While out with Brad, they decide to hang out by the water. Someone pushes her from behind and she falls over the railing. Someone calls for help, and Brad steps up. He finds her bag, buys her a new sweatshirt to warm her up, and gets her a cup of coffee. He tells the cops that he saw someone in a black hooded sweatshirt come out of nowhere, push her, and run away. She's still super suspicious of him because he's totally not Colin, so she asks the cops for a ride home. The stalker calls her again and then thinks that he can't let her go.

Part Five:

Even though they have to share an apartment, the girls somehow have money to rent a house in the Hamptons for the summer. Lou drives them up, but Lindy notices that Ann-Marie keeps snapping at him the whole time. He attacks her again, grabbing her breasts, and trying to kiss her when he gets her alone that night. Ann-Marie comes out and makes it seem like she saw it happen, but she leaves with him anyway.

Jack calls and asks for a date and she says yes, but she goes out with Shelly again too. She wonders why he doesn't kiss her or try to make a move and decides he's probably gay, which makes her feel better since she isn't attracted to him. They go back to the Hamptons, and Ann-Marie rents a car, telling them that she dumped Lou.

Our little stalker takes out a girl named Evan. They once again go back to her place because apparently every single woman in New York City sleeps with men on the first date. I guess Stine never read any chick lit books! He strangles her too, but he thinks that Lindy saw it happen. He decides that it's time to kill her.

While on vacation, Lindy notices that Ann-Marie seems depressed and doesn't want to do anything. She suggests that they go to the movies, but then Brad calls. Even though she didn't tell him where she was, he knows. He's in the Hamptons and suggests they go out. They meet, he takes her to see something special, and she thinks he's taking her into the middle of nowhere to kill him. Instead, he tells her that he got back together with his old girlfriend, and she bursts out laughing.

Our killer then fantasizes about the police coming to his house and killing him. He knows that now is the perfect time to kill Lindy, and he calls to make sure she's home. As he walks to her house, he reveals that he's actually Shelly. Well, damn. He heads to her apartment, she seems to want to kiss him, and he strangles her instead before dragging her into her bedroom and leaving.

Part Six:

Luisa comes home from work and finds no one there. She takes a message for Lindy about how she didn't show up for work and heads into her bedroom where she finds Lindy dead. No, actually she's just asleep and sick with the stomach flu. She doesn't want to go to work, but she thinks she should check on Shelly.

Lindy heads to his apartment, finds the door slightly open, knocks, and walks inside. She sees a piece of hair still attached to a piece of scalp and some body parts, but before she can run, Shelly wanders in. He offers to make her tea, and when he leaves, she runs away and calls Tommy.

Tommy later asks her to meet him at a bar for a talk. He tells her that Shelly confessed to killing six women, but he didn't really kill anyone. Shelly gave them names and addresses, but the women were all still alive. He basically was just fucked in the head and made up a bunch of stories. Oh and all those body parts in his apartment? Yeah, they were totally just mannequins and wigs.

Since things are fine again, she goes to the big office party at the Metropolitan Museum with Colin. After going to the bathroom, she gets turned around and lost. Someone hits her in the dark, she almost falls down, and then she hears the voice again. Colin suddenly shows up, she decides it was him all along, and runs away.

Cut to yet another weekend at the beach house. Lindy and Ann-Marie go to a party, she comes home, and finds that someone stole all of her clothes. She and Ann-Marie go to the beach, and Ann-Marie totally flips out. Turns out that she was behind the really bad stuff because she thought Lindy was trying to steal her boyfriend.

Ann-Marie knocks her down and gets ready to kill her when someone shoves her. It's Shelly because apparently the loonie bin where they sent him is super easy to escape from. He tries to strangle her because he would kill for Lindy, but Lindy stops him. The police come and take Shelly back to the asylum and probably need to take Ann-Marie there too.

We then get a nice little wrap up. Luisa's cousin moves in with them, they talk about how Ann-Marie was probably jealous of Lindy since college, and everything is fine. Lindy loses her job because the publisher gets bought up, but she goes out with Colin. They're now seriously dating and planning a trip together, so I guess having your best friend try to kill you and stalk you for months isn't that much of a setback.

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Tales to Give You Goosebumps (R.L. Stine)

The House of No Return:

Robbie, Lori, and Nathan are pretty dickish for being kids. The story starts with them waiting outside a supposedly haunted house. They convinced a kid that he could only join their group if he could stay inside for a full hour, but he comes racing out pretty fast. Robbie then decides to target Chris, a new kid in their school.

Chris makes it clear that he's not interested, and he even says that he's too afraid to go in the house. Robbie keeps riding him, but Chris doesn't care about joining their club. They then decide to trick him into going to the house. Robbie asks him to come out trick or treating with them. When they get to the house, they grab his arms, shove him in the house, and tell him to stay for an hour.

After an hour passes, they wonder what happened. Lori thinks he's showing off, but after 20 minutes, he still hasn't come out. They wait for 10 more minutes before going inside to check things out. Two scary ass ghosts walk out and grab them. They ask about poor Chris, and the ghosts just laugh. Turns out that Chris ran away pretty fast, but he promised them that if they let him go, he'd make sure that three more kids would take his place. The ghosts then let them know that they'll be there forever.

Teacher's Pet:

Becca and Benjy are best friends who can't wait to meet their cool new science teacher. Turns out that they wound up with a different teacher named Mr. Blankenship. He seems like a typical boring teacher (ha!) until he starts bringing in new cages and tons of snakes. Becca hates snakes so much that she starts having nightmares about the snakes coming home with her and attacking her.

Becca notices a big tank that Blankenship recently added to the class. Though she wonders how big the next snake will be, he never adds anything to the cage. While helping him feed the snakes, she accidentally drops one of the mice and it runs away. He seems particularly upset, so she asks Benjy to come back with her later to investigate.

They sneak into the school late at night and see a huge snake in one of the tanks. The snake climbs out of the tank, starts forming body parts, and finally becomes Mr. Blankenship. Becca and Benjy run from the school and wonder what he'll do next. He acts perfectly normal during class the next day, but he asks them to stay late. Turns out that they make a deal not to tell on each other – him for being a snake monster and them for breaking into the school – if they come in every day and feed him new mice.

Strained Peas:

Nicholas is waiting for his parents and reading an Iron Man comic. When they introduce him to his new little sister Hannah, he points out that his sister has the same evil birthmark as the villain in his comic book. His parents laugh it off, but Nicholas knows that his sister is evil.

Hannah has a birthmark that seems to pulse and glow, and he watches her eyes change color, but his mom thinks it's normal. She also spits green peas all over the house, and she covers his parents all-white room with his paints. His parents keep blaming her for everything that his sister does. When she comes at him with a pair of scissors, he finally snaps.

Cut to a phone call from the doctor. Turns out that Hannah isn't really his sister. She was switched at birth with another baby. They take her back to the hospital to pick up his real sister, and his parents decide to change her name to Grace. He spends all day with Grace to figure out if she's okay and decides she's normal. At the end of the night, Grace makes a weird noise and starts talking. Just as he runs from the room, he hears her warning him to watch out once she starts walking.

Strangers in the Woods:

Lucy has to spend the summer with her great aunt Abigail, but she does get the chance to bring her dog Muttster. Her dog acts really weird. He howls and barks, doesn't go in certain places, and just acts different. Her aunt also seems different too. Her cookies don't taste the same, she drives like a crazy person, and she warns Lucy about stepping foot in the woods.

The first night, Lucy sees weird lights in the sky over the woods. After she sees the lights a second time, she decides that it must be aliens. She overhears her aunt telling someone on the phone that it will all be over soon and when she turns, Lucy sees that her face is green. She decides to run away and runs into the woods, leaving her dog at home. She hears a bunch of voices and someone says to bring her to him.

It turns out that there was a movie shooting in the woods, which explains the lights and other stuff. Lucy heads back to see her aunt waiting up for her. Abigail explains that her face was the result of a homemade face mask and all the other stuff happened because she lost her glasses. She couldn't read the ingredients very well and drove crazy because she couldn't sleep. Later that night, Lucy finds her aunt's glasses and goes to give them back to her. When she opens the bedroom door, she discovers a crazy monster with tentacles staring back at her and speaking in her aunt's voice.

Good Friends:

Dylan is outside playing with his friend Jordan when his sister Ashley comes out and starts playing with her imaginary friend. Dylan keeps saying he needs to do his homework, but Jordan tells him to blow it off. He points out that his older brother Richard will tell his parents if he doesn't, and Richard ends up lecturing him from his bedroom window about doing his work.

The two boys then start teasing Ashley about her imaginary friend. She says her friend is real, and they have a big fight. They later decide to play a mean trick on her. While she's outside playing, they take Richard's tarantulas out of their boxes in his room and plan to sneak up on her and toss them on her head. Richard shows up at the last second, yells at him about what he's doing, and shouts about him playing with Ashley and Jordan. Richard then tells him that he needs to grow up and realize that Jordan and Ashley aren't real, they're just imaginary friends.

How I Won My Bat:

Mike is the star pitcher for his baseball team until he goes through a slump. Suddenly, he can't hit a single ball thrown at him. After practice, he sees a man in a black suit standing and watching him. The man gives him a card and introduces himself as Mr. Smith, the curator of a local sports museum. He offers him a free lightweight bat as long as he promises to return it right after his next game.

He breaks the school record and then the state record at his next game. He's now the top player again and everyone wants to celebrate with him. Mike makes up an excuse to sneak away to the museum, and when he gets there, he can't get over how realistic the pictures and displays look.

Mike tells Mr. Smith that he wants to keep the bat. Mr. Smith thinks about it and finally says that he can keep it forever. Just as he starts to get excited, some weird feeling comes over him, and he becomes part of the display. Mike gets to spend the rest of his life in the museum, watching and listening as people talk about how realistic his display looks.

Mr. Teddy:

Willa is a spoiled rotten twelve year old. Her mom constantly buys her whatever she wants, which pisses off her older sister Gina. When they go shopping, she sees a cute teddy bear that she absolutely has to have. Her mom asks what she'll do with it because she doesn't have any more room, but she buys it for her anyway.

She names her new bear Mr. Teddy, introduces him to Old Bear that she slept with for years, and moves Old Bear to a shelf above her bed. When she wakes up the next day, Mr. Teddy is sitting by her window. Gina refuses to admit that she did anything, and things heat up. She wakes up one day to see her bear sitting on top of some broken porcelain eggs, and she wakes up on another day to see her dresser tipped over.

Gina constantly denies that she did anything wrong, but Willa convinces herself that it was her sister. She finally wakes up one morning to see Mr. Teddy standing in the middle of her room with a piece of fabric in his hand and surrounded by all of her toys broken and destroyed. Willa rushes downstairs, only to learn that Gina wasn't home the night before. Convinced it was the bear, she rips him into pieces and throws the pieces out the window. The only toy that escaped was Old Bear, which she grabs and hugs. As she thinks about how lucky she is to have him, Old Bear thinks about how she'll learn that she shouldn't have other things and how she will always be his.


Seth is watching television when his dad comes home with a new universal remote that he just bought. After putting batteries in it, his mom comes in to lecture him, and he presses the mute button. It turns out that it actually mutes his mom. He then uses the rewind button to get more chocolate pudding at dinner.

Since it worked so well at home, he decides to try it at school. He uses freeze frame to freeze the classroom during a pop quiz so he can get the answers from a classmate, and he uses it to mute a lunch lady who lectures him on having too many desserts. When he pushes the mute button again, the woman still can't speak.

Thinking something went wrong, he looks for the remote and realizes that someone stole it. Seth and this guy Danny fight over the remote, which leads Seth to press the freeze frame again. A teacher rushes out, and he freezes her too. When he tries to make things right, the remote won't work. His classmates all start screaming, so he hits the power button, which leaves him in a dark black spot. Seth looks down to see what to do next and finds that the batteries in the remote are dead, leaving him there forever.

Broken Dolls:

Tamara hates her little brother because he won't stop breaking her dolls. After breaking her newest doll, she screams at him before she and Neal go to a craft convention with their parents. Her mom wants to get some new paint, while she wants to check out the dolls. She finds a stand filled with realistic looking dolls, and the older woman who runs the booth seems particularly interested in them. She offers Neal a cookie, mumbles something, and touches his head, which makes him act a little odd.

By the time they get home, Neal seems sick. He starts running a fever, and he just gets worse throughout the night. They find some weird sticky jelly on his head, but their parents wonder if he had an allergic reaction to something he ate. That makes Tamara remember the old lady, and she sneaks back to the craft fair thing.

She sees the old lady leave her booth for her trailer, and she sneaks into the booth. The dolls all start talking to her and asking her for help, and she notices a number of different dolls with blank faces. When she touches the head of one and notices the same jelly, she sees Neal's features appearing on the doll.

The old lady shows up again, and they have a big confrontation. The woman rambles about the new world forgetting about the old world and how kids go missing every day. She reaches for a jar of weird jelly, but Tamara grabs it, runs off, and tosses it in water, which causes the woman to disappear. When she gets home, Neal is back to normal. Cut to a few weeks later and she gets a package in the mail. It turns out to be a doll that looks just like the old woman. Feeling the evil in her home, she bets her little brother $5 that he can't break it, and he starts tearing it apart.

A Vampire in the Neighborhood:

Helga is the new kid in school, and Maddy and her friends think she's a vampire. She always looks really pale, has cold skin, wears old-fashioned clothes, and never really interacts with people. They decide to sneak over to her house but they can't really see anything.

Maddy invites her to do different things with them, but Helga always makes up excuses. She also makes up excuses why they can't come over to her house. The four of them sneak over again and watch her through her windows. When she sees them, Maddy jumps down and yells at her friends, who take off running.

They finally come back when Helga rushes out of her house to yell at them and ask them to stop spying on her. When Maddy finally asks her if she's a vampire, she agrees. Maddy tells her to show them her fangs, but she tells Maddy to show hers first. Maddy hesitates before showing her fans, and all of her friends show theirs too. Helga flips out because she was just joking, so they all gather around her and decide to take care of things themselves and turn her into one of them.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Fear Street: Haunted (R.L. Stine)

Melissa, also known as Lissa, wakes up in the middle of the night after hearing someone in her room. Her parents run in because they hear her screaming and find that it's just a tree branch hitting against the window. Since the Fear Street Prowler is running around town, her dad bought a gun, and he shows it to her to help her calm down.

A few days later, it's her birthday. Her dad gives her the keys to a brand new blue Firebird, and she runs off to show her best friend. She starts hearing someone call her name, loses control of her car, and crashes. Everyone teases her about it, but it's all good because her parents will buy her a new one.

When it's time for her birthday party, she hangs out with her friends and boyfriend Buddy. After a few hours, it's time to open the presents, but when they head into the bedroom where she put all the gifts, they find that someone ripped them open. Melissa thinks it was the prowler, but everyone else things it was a prank.

The next time she takes her car out, she sees someone in denim sitting next to her. Then, she sees someone in her room. She screams again and her parents rush in, but there's no sign anyone was there. While leaning out the window, someone shoves her from behind, but once again, no one is there. She tells Buddy what happened, but he thinks she imagined it.

While driving down the road a few days later, she sees the same guy sitting in her car. She loses control again and hits the car in front of her. When she tells him what happened, he points that no one was there. She sees the guy yet again, but this time he attacks her, screaming that she should remember him because she killed him.

The guy pretty much attacks her in her house, telling her that she killed him. Even though she says she doesn't know him, he keeps accusing her. He calls her a poor little rich girl who always gets what she wants. Melissa promises to help him discover what really happens to him, and he kind of agrees after telling her his name is Paul.

Melissa tells Buddy what happened and brings him home with her. She thinks Paul will appear, but he doesn't until Buddy tries to put the moves on her. Paul tries to hit him, but his arm goes right through him. Buddy turns around, and she realizes that he can't see him. Buddy thinks she went crazy and wants to tell her parents.

The next morning, she heads over to the library and does some research, but she can't find anything about a kid named Paul who died. She asks her friend Della for help, who suggests they talk to her cousin who lives in another school district. The cousin remembers someone dying, but it's a completely different guy.

Buddy wants to distract her with a trip to Read Heat, the local dance club. Melissa winds up wandering off and running into a group of guys n the parking lot, including a guy who looks suspiciously like Paul. They treat her like crap, Paul hits on her, and they all act really rude. Buddy shows up just in time to stop anything from happening.

Melissa realizes that she recognized one of the guys with Paul so she visits Frankie at work. When she mentions that Paul died, he flips out until he realizes that he just talked to him. He has no idea what she's talking about, and when she leaves, she runs into Paul. He does a bad job of flirting, chases her when she runs away, and steals her purse. The cops show up and she gets her bag back. She runs home and sees Paul who has no idea what she means when she asks him why he treated her so differently because he hasn't seen her all day.

The more they talk, the more she realizes that this Paul and the Paul she saw earlier are two different people. Paul tells her that he keeps fading in and out, and she wonders if he's a future ghost. Paul accuses her of trying to kill him, and when he agrees with her, he decides that she'll still kill him eventually. They finally decide to go to the real Paul and warn him about what might happen.

Ghost Paul leads her to his old home and goes inside. He follows his real form around, watching him hang out with his friends and drink some beer. Paul remembers that he was the prowler, and he tries to warn himself to knock it off, but he can't connect to himself. Melissa then sees real Paul who once again hits on her, and when she turns him down, he warns her that he knows where she lives.

Her parents decide that this is the perfect time to take a vacation and agree to let her have a friend stay over. Della unfortunately gets held up and can't make it to her house. While trying to sleep, she hears someone trying to break through the window in her parents' room. She calls out for Ghost Paul but runs into real Paul instead.

They do some fighting, and he reminds her that he told her he knew where she lived. They fight some more, and she runs to find her dad's gun. He doesn't believe it's a real gun and doesn't think she would use it, so they fight some more. Ghost Paul shows up just as the gun hits the floor. Real Paul gets to it first, but Ghost Paul knocks it out of his hands. Melissa shoots Real Paul and he drops dead on the floor.

Ghost Paul tells her that he realized he cared about her too much to see her die and now he knows what really happened between them. She admits that she cares about him too, he becomes corporeal, and they kiss before he disappears, telling her that things are okay now. She hears someone knocking on the door, rushes downstairs, and finds Buddy. He sees Paul's body, and she tells him that he's just some prowler.

*So this all happened because a guy had a crush on a girl and didn't know how to treat her? We get a few scenes where he seems upset that she didn't respond to him or calling her house and feeling disappointed. If she was actually nice to him, none of this would have happened.

Friday, October 25, 2013

Fear Street Super Chiller: Bad Moonlight (R.L. Stine)


Danielle is out shopping with her brother Cliff and her aunt Margaret who took them in after their parents died. She just got back from a two-week tour with her new band, even though they don't even have a freaking name, and she just wants to rest a little before the head out again, still without a name.

Cliff wants candy, and Margaret needs to find the right ingredients for some random oriental chicken dish with pineapple, so they both leave her alone. Danielle wanders off, thinks she sees someone she knows, and gets distracted. She suddenly hears her brother yelling her name in disgust and looks down to see that she was eating a package of raw beef.

Part One: Songs

Danielle is now driving to a show with the no-named band. She thinks about how Dee hates her because apparently the band let Danielle audition and gave her a spot as lead singer even though Dee was already their lead singer. On the way to the show, Joey (another member and driver) veers off the road and crashes through the guardrail. Danielle starts screaming before her friend Caroline calms her down.

It turns out that ever since her parents died in a car wreck, she has vivid fantasies that she thinks are real. She even sees a doctor about it. When they arrive at their hotel, Kit, the roadie and hottest guy around, asks her to take a walk with him. Joey and Billy give them both dirty looks because they both want to get with Danielle, and Dee tells her that she doesn't belong with them. It doesn't help that Dee tots wants to get with Kit.

After a short walk, they start talking and then making out. Danielle feels the urge to bite him, and she actually draws blood. Kit plays it off like it was no big deal and even lies about what happened, but it helps Danielle write an awesome song called Bad Moonlight. They play it and it becomes a big hit.

Danielle makes time to go home and see Dr. Moore because of her vision. She explains what happened with Kit, but the doctor thinks it was just her overreacting hormones. He hypnotizes her and she wakes up feeling slightly better, though she freaks out when she realizes that she clawed his chair into ribbons.

They go back on the road, and when they leave the show, Joey grabs her and kisses her. She pushes him away, but Dee saw it and gets pissed off. Instead of hanging out at the coffee shop, Danielle decides to take a walk on her own. Joey rushes out of the shadows and kisses her, but she runs away. She vaguely hears animal noises outside before passing out.

The next morning, no one can find Joey anywhere. They ask Danielle because he left just after she did, but she claims that she hasn't seen him since the coffee shop. Dee keeps giving her weird looks, and they decide to hop in the van and take off. Someone says they might pass Joey on the road, Caroline says they know that won't happen, and someone else tells her to shut up.

When they get ready to leave, Mary Beth decides to check out the policy cars heading down the street to the park. The others get ready to leave and hear her screaming. They run to the park and see her crying and screaming some more. The cops mention finding a body, and they realize it was Joey.

Part Two: Cries

Danielle thinks they should take a break after Joey's death, but everyone else wants to keep playing. Dee still acts really bitchy, and she even attacks her at rehearsal until the others pull them apart. She later sees Dee attacking Kit, but Caroline points out that it's just another fantasy. They name their band Bad Moonlight and people keep raving about that one song.

After another show, Dee sneaks into her room and tries to attack her, but Kit shows up unexpectedly. Kit starts to kiss her after Dee leaves, but she flashes back to what happened before. After hearing strange noises, she runs off to take a walk. She finds Billy dead on the ground, but he's actually just passed out drunk so she helps him up.

Danielle finally gets to go home again, and she sees Dr. Moore. He never says anything about what happened to his chair, but she does notice that he got a new one. She tells her aunt what's been happening and thinks her aunt is on her side, but then she hears her aunt having a whispered conversation with the doctor. That causes Danielle to snoop through her room. She finds an article about her parents deaths, which the coroner ruled as an unknown cause of death. She flips out because her aunt always told her it was a car accident.

Part Three: Howls

The doctor admits that he knows her aunt, but they only talk because they both worry about her. He hypnotizes her again, and this time, she sees herself in a fight to the death with Dee. When she leaves the office, she realizes that Caroline, who she had plans with, left her alone.

Dee pops up and warns her again to leave the band. Danielle basically tells her that she's sick of her whining, and Dee launches herself at her. The two girls have a brutal fight, and Danielle goes for her throat before Caroline pops up. She makes Dee leave before saying she's probably just jealous.

Danielle goes home and plays with her brother for awhile. He built a big ass fort that he keeps running around in, and when they play hide and seek, he disappears inside it. Cliff shouts that he needs a time out because he hurt himself. When he comes out bleeding, Danielle leans over and licks up the blood.

The same night, or maybe a few nights later, this book isn't really clear with its timeline, she hears something outside her window. It's only Billy, but he comes in and acts really strange before she practically shoves him out of her house. He shows up the next day to tell her that Dee quit the band by writing a letter and leaving it for him. Danielle thinks she quit because of her, but he calms her down. Everyone else thinks it was a little strange that Dee wouldn't at least tell them in person.

Kit has a friend who agrees to join the plan and take over for Dee. Everyone notices that Billy seems pretty crazy. He keeps bossing them around and seems really distracted. Danielle laughs about her original lyrics for Bad Moonlight, which talked about clawing people, and they all decide they like that version better. After playing at Red Heat, she wanders off.

Danielle finds a bunch of old trunks, and she discovers Dee's body inside one. Billy shows up, he tries to grab her arm, says that he can't let her leave, and they fight. She manages to get away from him, and runs off into the woods. Just when she thinks she can't run any further, she hears Caroline. Caroline agrees to help her, but then her eyes change and she starts sprouting gray fur.

Danielle tries to run away from Caroline and sees Mary Beth and Billy. They both turn into werewolves, and Kit shows up in the van. He tries to help her, they attack, and he yells at her to run away so she hops in the van and takes off. She manages to get home, only to learn that aunt Margaret isn't really her aunt. She's part of a werewolf pack that killed her parents and real aunt because they wanted her as a bride for their leader.

Despite another fight and more werewolves appearing, she escapes and makes it to Dr. Moore. He offers her orange juice because she needs sugar, and he starts acting strange. Kit shows up, and it turns out that he's the doctor's son. He saw Danielle three years ago and fell in love, so he set things up for her to become his bride. Though she puts up a fight, they take her and lead her into the woods.

Kit makes her sing Bad Moonlight while they wait for the right moment to get married. She begs everyone for help, but no one does anything except Billy. He tells her to give into the moonlight and she'll learn what to do. When the clouds part, she looks up at the moon and feels herself changing.

Danielle sneaks up behind Kit, bites down on his neck, and basically kills him. As soon as he dies, everyone starts changing back into humans because they were under his mind control or something. Dr. Moore's body literally falls apart and breaks into pieces, but everyone else is fine. Danielle makes a joke about wanting to see the daylight and everyone laughs like they haven't been werewolves for years or lost several of their friends. Ah, but we do learn that Billy really did have feelings for her, though we don't know why Kit decided to kill Joey.