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Showing posts from 2010

Sweet Valley University #46: I’ll Never Love Again

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Let’s get some of the boring stuff out of the way before I go off on another rant about Jessica. First Tom does a story about how women have all the sexual power and goes on and on about how women can do whatever they want, but guys can’t. He basically lets out all his frustration on Liz and says that women can say no, get upset when a guy wants different things and expect the guy to hold on forever. He turns into a pariah with all the girls on campus hating him and he gets in trouble at the station. Danny keeps moping over Isabella because she’s the big love of his life. He decides to fly to Switzerland and win her back, but stops because it’s too expensive. Let that sink in for a minute: he spends the whole book moaning over her, but then won’t get off his ass and fly to see her because he doesn’t want to pay so much for a ticket. He and Tom go out drinking, he gets drunk and Tom has to save him when he accosts some girl who vaguely looks like Isabella. Todd can’t stop thinking

Sweet Valley University #45: Don’t Let Go

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This is the book where Jessica goes insane. It’s also the book where I started snapping (out loud) at the characters and had to put it down before I threw it against the wall. First of all, there really aren’t any stories beyond Jessica. Danny is still in love with Isabella, who still has amnesia. Her parents move into a hotel with her and agree to stay in town and let him try a few things to bring back her memory. He brings her pineapple pizza, which she used to love and now hates, then takes her on walks and basically just tries to be a good boyfriend. In the end, her parents decide that the best place for her is a sanitarium in Switzerland. Oh yeah, I’m sure that’s a lot better. Dana and Todd start spending a lot of time together, but neither one of them wants to make the first move. Todd is worried that he’s being unfaithful to Gin-Yung and Dana doesn’t think a nice guy like Todd would like her. It doesn’t help when Tom confronts her on campus and calls her a whore. Apparentl

Sweet Valley University #44: Love Me Always

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Everyone is in love and everyone is having problems. Danny keeps sitting by Isabella’s hospital bed, hoping that she’ll wake up and recover from everything that happened. The doctor tells him to encourage her other senses so he brings in her favorite clothes, perfume and tape. After draping the shirt over her, making her smell the perfume and putting the tape on, she starts moving. Isabella wakes up, but he’s heartbroken to learn that she has amnesia and doesn’t remember anyone. Winston starts taking dating advice from Bruce because he’s desperate to get Denise back. Yes, Bruce Patman who he should know isn’t the best person to ask for help from. He buys her a cute charm shaped like an elephant, but it’s made out of ivory and sets her off. Now I thought it was illegal to sell ivory, but what do I know? He then brings her another gift, which turns out to be a wrapped up cheeseburger. He explains that all the layers represent their love, but she thinks he should stop trying to brib

Sweet Valley Twins #22: Out of Place

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Ms. Waldron is one of the teachers at the twins’ school and she’s fairly well liked by everyone else. Except Ellen Riteman, who’s pissed off that the teacher gave her a bad grade. Ms. Waldron’s niece Ginny Lu Culpepper is coming to live with her for awhile. Her mom and Waldron had a bad childhood and she wants her niece to have more opportunities. Ginny Lu randomly arrives in town early and stops by the school, interrupting the first class she finds. She’s described as having red hair in braids, wearing a worn dress and raggedy boots. Of course she has a horribly stereotypical accent. Ellen makes fun of her and Ginny Lu turns it around, saying that they’re laughing at her because her slip is showing. Ms. Waldron decides to take her niece to the mall and pick out some new clothes, so she’ll fit in better with the other kids. I think she needs a lot more help than that. Ellen pops up and offers to help, since the teacher doesn’t know what those crazy kids are wearing. Yeah, she’s onl

The Baby-Sitter’s Club #28: Welcome Back, Stacey!

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Stacey is living in New York and baby-sitting for a few kids in her building. All of the kids that live in the neighborhood think they’re too cool for sitting, so she ends up with most of the jobs. After her job, she heads downstairs and hears her parents fighting long before she gets to the door. She listens to them fight for a few minutes, before running over to Laine’s house. Laine is a little hesitant to say anything and actually seems uncomfortable. She suggests Stacey call Claudia, which she does and interrupts a BSC meeting. Dawn thinks it doesn’t sound good when she tells her about the fights, but tries to make her feel better. When she gets home, her parents sit her down and tell her that they’re getting a divorce. Stacey surprisingly acts like a regular kid by ignoring them completely for the most part and not doing anything they ask. Her parents tell the school and she gets special treatment there too. After a few days, she comes home and finds a note on her door, telli

The Baby-Sitter’s Club #13: Good-bye Stacey, Good-bye

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Stacey’s mom and dad sit her down for some big news. She thinks that they’re having another baby, but they’re actually moving back to New York. Her dad got a promotion and they have to move back soon. She can’t decide if she should call Laine and celebrate or call Claudia and cry. At first she calls Laine and they excitedly talk about her coming back. Then Laine reminds her of the mean girls and how they teased her and she gets sad. She calls Claudia, they cry and then she rushes over there. The whole family is actually waiting, but they give the girls some time together. They decide that she should move into the Kishi house, but both sets of parents say no. Mrs. McGill starts packing things up and realizes they have way too much stuff. Stacey points out that they moved from an apartment into a house and needed to buy stuff to fill up the house. They won’t have as much room in the apartment, so she decides to have a yard sale. She tells Stacey that the club can keep the money they

99 Fear Street The House of Evil: The Second Horror

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Cally is all up in the attic, watching a new family move into “her” house. Brandt is the teenage and only son, who’s moving in with his parents and his cat Ezra. Both of his parents are researchers and they’ve bee living on some remote island for awhile. Now they’re moving back to civilization because he has some weird “condition” and they want to give him a chance at a normal life. Brandt’s dad starts hanging up these ritual masks and deadly spears around the room. Suddenly one of the spears impales the poor cat and he dies pretty fast. He gets over it pretty fast though because one of his neighbors shows up. Abbie is cute and hot, so he gets all distracted. Then he meets this other hot girl Jinny and they start bonding, even though she already has a boyfriend. Her boyfriend Jon starts ribbing him a lot and convinces him to try out for the basketball team because he’s tall and the coach says they need tall guys. He lies and tells his mom that he’s on the student senate because he

The Baby-Sitter’s Club #81: Kristy and Mr. Mom

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Apparently Watson got super rich by working constantly and not taking care of himself. Lately he’s acting even worse and he seems like his color is changing and he’s just not doing that great. Kristy comes downstairs one day and he’s out trying to push his car out of the snow, while Charlie drives the car. Her mom tells Sam to help him and Kristy runs out too. That works fine, but later that night, she sees him trying to shovel the sidewalk. She offers to finish up, if he’ll run inside and put on a pizza, so they can watch the game later. He agrees, but then starts shaking when he gets to the porch. When he collapses, she has to run inside and call 911. Kristy’s mom and Nannie go with Watson to the hospital, leaving her home with David Michael and Emily Michelle. Kristy acknowledges that she can’t do everything herself when Shannon calls after seeing the ambulance. Shannon offers to call Sam and Charlie at school. I find it fairly shitty that their coach says he’ll tell them at ha

Sweet Valley Twins #35: Amy’s Pen Pal

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It’s funny how some of these books tend to stick with you. I probably read this book 17 years ago (good lord, am I dating myself?) and as soon as I started reading it, the whole storyline started running through my head. Sweet Valley has a big three day weekend and everyone is off from school and work on Monday. It’s a big weekend too because Dave Carlquist is doing a live radio show at the mall on Sunday night. He’s a high school senior who ran a radio show and it was so popular that the local station picked it up. I call bull shit on that. Plus Alice is throwing a huge barbecue on Sunday and Lila is having a party on Saturday. Jessica and Elizabeth are shopping for napkins and stuff at the mall. Alice is so busy with planning that she doesn’t have time to get that kind of stuff. Jess gets all distracted by a purple sweater and wants is so bad because she’s in the Unicorn Club and they all love purple. They swing by the mall center, to see them fixing up the stage for the radio s

The Baby-Sitter’s Club Special Edition Reader’s Request: Shannon’s Story

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I find it hard to believe that readers actually requested/demanded a story devoted solely to Shannon. Plus, if we really wanted to read about her, then why not give her a story in one of the regular books? This one follows Shannon’s life away from the club (kind of) and focuses primarily on her life at home. Her dad is almost never around because he’s either at work or on the golf course. I think he calls/leaves notes 6 or 7 times in the book, saying he won’t be home for dinner. Her sister Maria is obsessed with her swimming and Tiffany is obsessed with her garden. She’s also worried about her mom because she’s obsessed with her daughters and living through them, without having a life of her own. It’s even worse when her dad forgets about Mother’s Day. He gives her a gift that he keeps at the office for situations like this, but she finds out the truth when she opens the birthday card on the front. Shannon decides to focus on herself and on her French classes. The students who h

Fear Street: Truth or Dare

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April, her friend Jenny and Jenny’s boyfriend Ken are heading to a ski condo for a weekend. None of them are very good friends with Dara, but she asked them as a way to make some new friends. They get there early and wait around for her and her parents. They run into Josh, who Dara knows and who was also invited. Dara shows up, but she doesn’t have her parents. Surprise! The teens are all alone for the weekend. Once they get inside, they meet Tony. His parents and her parents share the house and he got his weekends messed up. He also has this girl Carly with him and Dara is kind of pissed about them both being there. He points out that there are more than enough rooms at the house for everyone, so they agree to stay. The whole group decides to play truth or dare. Ken reveals that he once saw someone drop a $10 bill and took it for himself. Someone asks April to tell them a secret that she wishes she didn’t know. She makes a comment about Summer Island and kind of looks at Ken. The

The Baby-Sitter’s Club #114: The Secret Life of Mary Anne Spier

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Richard Spier made a bad decision: he gave Mary Anne his credit card. The deal is that she can charge as much as she wants to the card, provided she has enough to pay it back. This doesn’t make sense because if she has the money, why wouldn’t she just use it and skip the credit card? Mary Anne goes crazy, as any teenage girl would and buys gifts for everyone and spends more than she planned. She thinks she has six weeks to pay it back, but Sharon points out that credit card bills come fairly frequently and she actually only has two weeks. She makes a list of all the gifts and can’t believe how much she spent. She figures out how much she can make baby-sitting and knows it’s not enough. Luckily the mall is hiring, so she runs down and applies for a job. Another girl sees her application and tells her that the mall won’t hire a 13 year old. Angela changes the number to a 6 and of course she gets the job. The woman barely looks at the application, just asks her a few questions and th

The Unicorn Club #20: In Love with Mandy

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I’m not sure how I feel about the Unicorn Club books because this was way past my time. I flipped through a few of the earlier books, so I could figure out where this fell in the Sweet Valley line. The books cover the 7th grade year of our favorite girls, but the twins are barely in the books! Liz is in the earlier books, but by this book, only Jess is still a member and she’s only in a few scenes. Lila Fowler is up to her credit card limit, but still wants to get some new clothes. When she stops by to see her dad, she runs into Mitchell Parsons, who’s waiting for his dad to finish up a meeting. They do a little flirting, until their dads come out fighting. Mr. Fowler reveals that he’s in the process of buying Mitchell’s dad’s company and things aren’t going well. Mandy Miller, another member of the club, just got a job working in the kitchen of the country club. I have to point out that this is completely illegal for a 13-14 year old girl. Her first night working is also the nigh

The Baby-Sitter’s Club #36: Jessi’s Baby-Sitter

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Jessi’s mom hasn’t been working for awhile, though I don’t remember this ever being mentioned in another book. Not only does she go job hunting without mentioning it to her kids, but she also accepts a job. Jessi’s dad picks her up from dance class and makes it out like he has some big announcement at dinner. She’s convinced that her mom’s pregnant, but it’s just a new job. Right away, she starts thinking about how she needs to plan to take care of Becca and Squirt after school, but dad announces that Aunt Cecilia is coming to stay. The girls are so upset at the news that they immediately make a list of things to do, just to torture her. Cecilia shows up and apparently brings her whole house with her, despite the fact that she’s packing light. Seriously, she’s moving into their guest room and brings dozens of cartons, a birdcage, lamps, two chairs and god knows what else. They end up storing her stuff all around the house. Jessi also short-sheets her bed, puts shaving cream in her

Point Horror: The Stalker (Carol Ellis)

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Janna is your typical teenage girl, except that she’s working as a dancer in a touring production of Grease. Right before she left for the summer, she broke things off with her boyfriend Jimmy Dare. Jimmy thought they would go to college together, get married and live happily ever after. Now she’s just living the single life. After their latest show, she notices Ryan. He’s been with the theater group before and he’s super hot, so she starts blushing as soon as she sees him. She shares a room with three other girls: Liz, Gillian and Tori. Liz warns her about Ryan, saying that they dated last summer, he started cheating on her and then dumped her for another girl. Then he kept moving on to other girls in the group. Weird things start happening and Janna isn’t sure what to think. She gets a card of a broken and torn apart leg, with a note telling her to break a leg. Then someone starts sending her flowers and leaving notes that say they’ll meet soon. Liz points out (accurately) that

The Baby-Sitter’s Club #40: Claudia and the Middle School Mystery

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Janine is helping Claudia study for her next math test and surprisingly enough, she’s doing really well. Her regular math teacher is out of town or sick or something, so she has this substitute named Mr. Zorzi. Check out that pic of him on the cover. He reminds me of a teacher from a bad 80’s sitcom, but I can’t quite think who. Anyway, everyone tells her that she’s going to do great on the test and she starts to feel more confident. A few days later, they get their test results back and she totally nailed it! A- suckers. The teacher calls her and Shawna Riverson to the front of the room after class and points out that not only did they get the same grade and miss the same questions, but they answered every single question in the same way. Shawna instantly does the “I’d never cheat”, while Claudia twiddles her thumbs. By the time she gets around to defending herself, the teacher has already made up his mind. He thinks she cheated, so she’ll get a failing grade on the test. The pri

Sweet Valley High Super Thriller: A Stranger in the House

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For some reason, I really like this book and I remembered way too much about it! The book opens with this buy John Marin, who’s stuck in prison. He cuts a bunch of photos of the twins from local newspapers and sticks them up in his cell. He talks about using Liz’s love of books and Jessica’s love of the spotlight against them both. Then the books jump to the Wakefield house, where the twins are getting ready to start their 700th summer jobs. This time they’re working at the Marina Café and I’m summer, but I can’t see Jess voluntarily working as a waitress. Steve is home for the summer too (big surprise) and working at the law office. Ned nearly chokes to death when he reads in the paper that John Marin was paroled. We get the backstory of how Marin killed a woman and her teenage daughter, after kidnapping them from Secca Lake. He threatened the twins when he was being lead out of the court. This brings up two questions. First of all, how the hell do you get paroled after ten y

The Baby-Sitter’s Club #103: Happy Holidays, Jessi!

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Ann M. Martin apparently decided that no one realizes Jessi is black, so she had this book done just to remind us. I think the whole book is about how she’s black and no one understands what that means for her. When the book starts, she’s all excited about Kwanzaa and gives us a long (I mean pages and pages long) description of the holidays. Apparently she’s the only one in the family who cares because Becca is making a list for Santa and talking about everything she wants for Christmas. At a BSC meeting, Kristy points out that Kwanzaa is only for African-American people and Jessi gets kind of pissed off. She thinks that other people might feel this way, when it’s actually about bringing people together. Yet five pages before, she actually said it’s only for black people. Make up your mind Jessi! So she comes up with this “brilliant” idea to host a festival and invite people of all colors. Aunt Cecilia is living with the family and acting as bitchy as ever. She keeps lecturing t