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Sweet Valley University #8: Home for Christmas

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Steven is still passes out on the floor and Mike is starting to wonder why he isn’t coming back. He somehow smells the gas and realizes what happened so he tries to walk into the kitchen. Of course he can’t walk, so he figures out a way to crawl into the kitchen. He keeps thinking about what Jess would say if they both died in the apartment. He throws a cast iron doorstop out the kitchen window, which alerts the neighbors and one calls 911. Liz is turning into Jessica. She blows off her schoolwork, spends all her time with Tom and can’t think about anything but him. She even makes a comment about how her obsessive love for him is scary and that she can’t believe this is what real love feels like. Um, it isn’t. I really love my live-in boyfriend, but if I was around him all the time, I’d lose my freaking mind. They literally start going crazy when they don’t see each other for 12 hours. Anyway Liz decides that the only way she can do any work is if they spend the entire exam week away f

Sweet Valley University #7: Good Bye to Love

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Lila Fowler hasn’t been mentioned a whole lot in this series, so I got excited when I realized she was *finally* coming back. After dealing with Jessica’s whiny, bratty side for too long, I’m ready for someone who can put her in her place. Lila was supposed to attend Sweet Valley University, but the summer before, she went to Italy and stayed with her aunt. She met Tisano, a count and fell head over heels in love, within a week of course. They got married, she became a countess and only occasionally wrote her best friend back home. Then he dies in a jet skiing accident and her parents come to Italy to get her. She’s now auditing classes at SVU until she can register the following semester. Jess gives Lila a tour of campus and shows her the Theta house. Bitchy Alison is there and makes a comment about how a “widow and divorcee” with really liven up and the house and I just had to laugh. I would like to know why Alison always has so much power when she’s vice-president and the president

Sweet Valley University #6: The Love of Her Life

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Fair warning: I came dangerously close to throwing this book out the window by the time I got to the last 20 or so pages! Mike’s in the hospital and Steven is in jail, charged with attempted murder and felon assault. Jess stays with Billie until she realizes that Billie will be up all night just trying to find Steven a lawyer. Liz hears about the incident on the police scanner in Tom’s room when they’re talking about the secret society story and she rushes over to help. Everyone else in the book seems pretty happy. Danny and Isabella are all in love and Winston and Denise are in love, but he’s irritated because everyone assumes that they’re sleeping together. Todd learns that he has to sit out a season of basketball and move out of the athletic dorm, but he can play again next year and keep practicing with the team. His buddy Mark, Alex/Enid’s boyfriend doesn’t get off as easy because he got money and a new car. The school drops his scholarship, expels him and tells him that they’ll bl

Sweet Valley University #5: A Married Woman

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Jess still refuses to leave Mike, even though Liz spent the night with her just in case he came back, which he never did. She basically blows off the whole night before, saying that they just need to work on their marriage and invest more time if they want to make it work. She also quits her job because her boss won’t let her call in sick again (apparently she’s been doing that a lot so she can spend time with Mike). He shows up after Liz leaves, ask for forgiveness and they make up yet again. Denise poses as Winston’s girlfriend for his dad and she does such a good job of it that Winston starts to believe that it’s true. Danny and Isabella are now dating and Tom feels like a third wheel every time he’s around them. Alex and Mark are having problems because he’s looking forward to seeing how his life will turn out away from SVU and he has no intention of bringing her with him when he goes to the pros. Liz comes up with a “brilliant” idea and discovers that Mike is actually the leader o

Sweet Valley University #4: Anything for Love

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Jessica is still crazy in love with Mike McAllery at the beginning of this book. After a wild ride on his motorcycle, she tells him that she’ll love him forever and he tells her to prove it, by marrying him. Yeah, this will work out great… Liz goes by the hospital to visit Nina, who was admitted after the attack on her and Bryan. She’s convinced that she can find out who’s behind the secret society and get some justice for her friends. Suddenly she’s best friends with Bryan and the book acts like we should know this, even though she’s never said two words to him before. Then there’s Danny, who’s secretly in love with Isabella, but afraid to say anything because she’s obsessed with her roommate Tom. Tom loves Liz, but he won’t say anything because she’s still dating William White. What the hell is up with all these people? Everyone says they’re in love, but without knowing the other person, or even really having a conversation with them! Williams starts putting weird thoughts in Liz’s h

Sweet Valley University #3: What Your Parents Don’t Know…

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Jessica Wakefield is a moron and this book (not to mention the other early books in the University series) only serve to emphasize this point. She moved in with Mike at the beginning of the last book and then runs out and spends a shitload of money decorating their apartment. She also spends a ton on new clothes, to “keep up” with him. Uh, isn’t he a mechanic who always wears jeans and tee-shirts? She goes to the bank to make a withdraw from the account her parents setup and discovers that she only has 55 cents left. Good old Ned and Alice apparently deposited enough to get them through the whole semester and Jess spent everything in about 2 weeks. She changes clothes, goes back to the bank and makes a withdraw from Liz’s account because apparently you don’t need something as basic as a picture ID to use the college bank. Liz of course is way too busy to deal with her sister. She and Tom are on the hunt for a new storyline and decide to do one on freshman frat hazing. Liz tries to conv

Sweet Valley University #2: Love, Lies and Jessica Wakefield

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Jessica Wakefield is in a funk. At the end of the last book, her dream date Mike kissed her and promised to call, but it’s now been a week without a word, which makes me really like him. She moans over him constantly, annoying her roommate Isabella. Izzy points out all the bad stuff Mike did in the past, but Jess is so in love (after one kiss remember) that she won’t even leave the room because she’s worried he might call. Tom Watts finds proof that the athletic department is offering illegal help to players (like giving them $5,000 for free schooling and grants to pay for new cars), but because he’s a former football player, he can’t investigate the claims on his own so he asks Liz for help. She turns to Alex, who’s still going by Alex, but is called Enid 747 times in this book. Alex is all over her new jock boyfriend Mark and doesn’t think it’s odd that she’s hanging out with Todd and his new galpal Lauren. Liz is still having problems with her roomie Celine, who’s going around and s

Fall Into Darkness (Christopher Pike)

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Sharon McKay is on trial for killing her best friend Ann Rice and she’s in jail and everything, she even has a creepy lawyer named Johnny who wants to get in her pants. Apparently they’re charging her even though no body was found. It happened a month ago and she’s still sitting in jail. They don’t have a whole lot of faith in a teenage girl. Anyway, Sharon and her quasai boyfriend Fred had gone on a camping trip with Ann, Ann’s boyfriend Paul and his brother Chad, who works for her. Things were rough between the girls because Ann’s brother Jerry was obsessed/in love with Sharon and he killed himself when she wouldn’t date him…or something. Sharon was this great classical pianist who was already accepted to Julliard and Jerry was the annoying little brother of her best friend. She was nice to him and he never even looked at another girl because he was in love. Sounds a little more like stalker than love, but whatever. They all go camping and Ann tells Sharon they should take a walk lat

Sweet Valley University #1: College Girls

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Liz, Jess, Todd, Winston and Enid are ready for college life at Sweet Valley University. Jess can’t wait to get away from their parents, but Liz isn’t feeling as confident. She and Todd take one last date night, she thinks about how hard the change is going to be and cries at the thought of leaving behind Prince Albert (hey! He’s still alive). Jess thinks she’s a moron, but I can’t talk because I was the same way when I moved to college. Enid decides that when they get to school, she’s going to completely change her look and be a new person, complete with a new name: Alex. Liz can’t get over how much everyone’s changing, but willingly climbs in the car with Jess to head off on their new life. By the way, what kind of school lets all these freshmen have cars on campus? And what kind of parents just let their twin girls run off to college together without even checking out their dorm? Everyone I knew had their parents helping them move in on the first day. Oh and they’re leaving Sweet Va

Point Horror: Hit and Run (R.L. Stine)

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Cassie is your typical 16 year old girl who has three best friends, all of them guys. Scott is her secret crush, but she’s too afraid to say anything or anything about it. There’s Wink who’s pretty much an asshole and Eddie who everyone picks on. Winks gets a human eyeball from Eddie’s cousin Jerry, who works in a morgue and apparently also thinks it’s funny to pick on him. Eddie gets all freaked out and runs off. A few days later the gang decides to take Scott’s dad’s car for a long drive. None of them have a license, but they figure it’s good practice. Wink screams about seeing something in the road when it’s Eddie’s turn behind the wheel, but there’s nothing actually there and they all get a big laugh out of it. After a few more days, they all go back out for another drive. This time they hit someone. The whole gang runs out to see what happened and find the man laying in the road. Eddie digs out his wallet and learn that his name was Brett Tinker. After a long fight, they decide to

Point Horror: The Lifeguard (Richie Tankersly Cusick)

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Kelsey is pissed off at her mom because she takes her to spend the summer with mom’s boyfriend Eric and his kids. They’ve apparently never met before, even though they’ve been dating forever (unlike Trick or Treat, where the parents marry after 3 months). On the boat ride to Beverly Island where the family lives, she meets a hot guy named Skip who tells her that he’s a lifeguard in town. When they arrive on the island, they meet his sons Neale and Justin, but learn that his daughter Beth just went missing. Apparently she was supposed to meet some guy and then disappeared and now the police think she drowned. Kelsey also meets the requisite creepy town drunk without any teeth Isaac, who seemingly attacks her. Kelsey automatically likes Justin, who is super sweet and nice. But she hates Neale, who acts dark and moody. Oh and both are lifeguards…apparently the whole town only has three. She finds a couple of notes left for her by Beth and wishes she had the chance to meet the sweet girl.

Update

You should prepare yourself for an onslaught of Sweet Valley University reviews in the coming month(s). I was the high bidder on a set of the books, which included 10 of the Super Thrillers and the entire run of the original series. I plan on reading them in order, which will be a first for the blog. I'll try to cut them with a few reviews of other stuff. I went to a charity book sale this weekend and ended up buying about 30 different teen books including Pike, Stine, Fear Street, Hoh, Sweet Valley High and a bunch of the old Point Thriller/Horror books. In an ironic twist of fate, one of the books I bought actually came from my old high school and I actually remember checking it out back then! Needless to say, I plan on reviewing quite a few books in the next couple of months. Look for at least two reviews a week!

SWEET VALLEY HIGH #24: MEMORIES

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Memories picks up with a scene that makes much more sense if you read the last one right before this, or at least had some idea of what happened. Steven was at a party and flirting with Cara, but then Betsy Martin showed up and flipped out at him because her sister’s only been gone for ten books! In Sweet Valley time that could be anywhere from a week to six years. Steve runs home and cries himself to sleep, vowing to always keep Tricia in mind. Jessica tries to make him feel bad by pointing out how much Cara liked him, but he won’t listen. Liz is all heartbroken because Todd is back in Vermont and she can’t do squat without him attached to her hip. There’s also some charity volleyball game with a dance later (of course) and she’s upset that she won’t have a date. Jessica turns all snoopy (big surprise) and hears Alice on the phone with Winston’s mom. She learns that his uncle is some hotshot movie director (who will never, ever be mentioned again) and decides that she has to get close

FEAR STREET: THE CHEATER (R.L. STINE)

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Carter Phillips is one of those secondary characters who pops up in Fear Street books. In those she’s rich, blonde and slightly snobby. In The Cheater she gets her own story where she’s rich, blonde and slightly snobby. Carter is moaning to her boyfriend Dan about how horrible her life is. Yeah, I really feel for you girl. She took some special math test and scored 500 something, but that’s not good enough for her dad. Judge Phillips wants his little girl to go to Princeton and insists she retake the test and score at least 700. Dan acts all uncomfortable because he’s a math genius who scored 715 on his test. The head to The Corner, the local after school hang out and she “jokingly” suggests that Dan take the test for her. He gets all freaked out and she changes the subject fast. After he leaves, Adam Messner, a math genius from their school who works at the restaurant, approaches her and offers to take the test. All he wants in return is one date and she gets all excited, barely notic

THE VISITOR (CHRISTOPHER PIKE)

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The Visitor opens with a high school student named Mary trying to get over the loss of her boyfriend Jerry who died a month ago. She started smoking after he died and she doesn’t seem to care about much, which worries her parents, but not enough to make them cancel a trip out of town. Seems like a running theme with Christopher Pike: get rid of the adults as soon as possible. Jerry’s best friend Savey stops by to pick her up and take her to a party at Pamela’s house, a cheerleader who used to date Jerry and now has sex with everyone. Savey’s band plays the party while Mary sits in a corner and drinks and entire bottle of wine. She’s momentarily interrupted by Jerry’s brother Tom who just wants to know the truth about what happened to his brother. She runs from the party after he suggests they hold a séance, but later agrees to stay as long as Savey is there. At the séance they contact some weird spirit who claims someone at the party drew him there, but he won’t say who because it will

SWEET VALLEY UNIVERSITY #22: ELIZABETH’S SUMMER LOVE

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Will that Elizabeth never learn? The gang is still at Sweet Valley Shore for the summer, along with our new cast of characters: Wendy, Ben, Ryan and Paul. Jessica is still out to get Ryan all to herself, completely disregarding the fact that she saw him kissing her sister. Wendy is pissed at Winston for making Pedro Paloma take her out on a date and Ben is still mooning over Jess. Ah and Liz is still obsessed with Ryan and Nina is still unsure about Paul, both of whom still have boyfriends. Jess is back to her conniving ways, lying to Nina about being sick so the other girl will take her shift. She heads off to town where she gets a slinky new dress because she plans on seducing Ryan and stops by to get her nails done. Ben pops in to see her, they start flirting and he puts his heart out on the table. They goof around, only to get caught by Nina who is pissed that Jess lied again. Of course Jess gets pissed at Ben because she blames him for getting her caught. She stops at a fortune te