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Showing posts from 2011

Goosebumps #25: Attack of the Mutant

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Skipper is your ordinary pre-teen boy, except that he is obsessed with a comic book series called The Masked Mutant. He reads every new issue as soon as it comes out. One day he takes the bus to the orthodontist and meets a girl named Libby. He picks on her for reading what he considers lame comics, but they get along. He gets the next issue and sees the villain’s hideout, which looks like a huge pink fire hydrant. Later, he sees the same building in his town. Libby has no idea that the building appears in the comic and tells him that the building has been there since before she moved to town last year. When he goes back, the building is gone and she tells him that they tore it down. The next issue shows the villain throwing an invisibility cloak over the building. He sneaks inside with Libby and sees a weird flash go over him. He loses Libby inside, but finds a bunch of back and future issues, plus drawings. He realizes that the building is home to the printing company, finds Libb

The Unicorn Club #20: In Love with Mandy

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Lila Fowler wants to buy even more clothes because she hasn’t yet bought out every store in Sweet Valley. She stops by her dad’s office and sees the super cute Mitchell Parsons. They flirt and she likes him, but then their dads come out fighting. Her dad reveals that he is in the process of buying out the other man’s company and he isn’t happy about it. Mandy Miller is just excited because she landed a job at the Sweet Valley Country Club, working in the kitchen and as a waitress. She has to work on the night of a huge Halloween ball. Lila comes to the club wearing a purple dress and a fancy unicorn mask. She dances with a few regular guys and then spots Mitchell across the room. Mitchell suggests they sneak off to the golf course and she agrees, but can’t leave the room completely. She asks Mandy “unicorn to unicorn” to put on her costume and act like her. She sneaks off to the golf course and spends over an hour with Mitchell. She tells him that she needs to get back before her d

Goosebumps #23: Return of the Mummy (R.L. Stine)

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Gabe has recovered from the events in the last book, at least enough that he heads off to Egypt with his uncle Ben and cousin Sari. He makes an ass of himself in the airport when they get there late, by hugging a man in a burka, thinking that it’s his uncle. Uncle Ben presents him with a scarab in amber as a present and Sari freaks him out, pretending that the bug is attacking his leg. Uncle Ben is working in a pyramid that he thinks belonged to one of King Tut’s cousins. Sari claims that she is worried about him because he pinned all his hopes on the pyramid. If he doesn’t find anything inside, then she worries that he might lose it. Also on the scene is Nala, a reporter that Ben’s partner Omar let visit. She points out that she and Gabe have the same amber necklace, though hers lacks any bug. She mainly shows up to flirt with Ben for most of the book. After a few days, the group finally breaks through to the inner room. Gabe accidentally falls down a shaft, where he is attacked b

Sweet Valley High #10: Wrong Kind of Girl

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Annie Whitman desperately wants to be a member of the cheerleading squad because apparently she isn’t slutty enough on her own. Jessica is flabbergasted that Easy Annie thinks she has what it takes to be a cheerleader. Liz decides to help Annie study for her math class, so she can get her grades up, but doesn’t bother telling her sister. Liz goes over to her house one night and Annie confesses all about her past life. Her mom was only 16 when she had her, married her dad and then later divorced him before becoming  a fairly famous model. They live in a little apartment with Mona’s boyfriend Johnny. Johnny naturally hits on Liz the first time he meets her, showing himself as the creepy guy. Mona also talks to Liz, worrying that her little girl doesn’t have any friends, but she actually seems more concerned with her boyfriend and her next drink. Jess decides that Cara is the perfect girl for the squad. Apparently she and Lila were kicked off the squad after pulling a prank on an oppo

The Baby-Sitters Club #73: Mary Anne and Miss Priss

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Mrs. Prezzioso calls the BSC because she needs a regular sitter every afternoon. Mary Anne is the only one free enough for the job, but even she can only take three nights a week. Every time she goes to the house, the mom disappears with baby Andrea for a few hours. Mary Anne notices right off the bat that Jenny is even more prissy than usual. She wears matching dresses, socks, tights, shoes and hair ribbons. She freaks out when she spills apple juice on her clothes and flips when Mary Anne takes her outside and she gets mud on her feet. The triplets are ticked off because they don’t think they need a sitter anymore. They decide to start their own kickball team because they get to be in charge. Jenny wants to join the team, but all the other kids shoot her down because she never wants to get dirty and is too prissy. Mrs. Prezzioso tells Mary Anne that she’s been taking Andrea on auditions for photo shoots and commercials. Jenny changed because she wants some attention from her mo

Sweet Valley Twins #2: Teacher’s Pet

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Elizabeth is the star pupil in Madame Andre’s ballet class. Jessica is a far better dancer, but their teacher hates her because she thinks she doesn’t take it seriously. Both girls want the lead role in the production of Coppelia, but Jess is sure Liz will get it and so is everyone else in class. Jess even resorts to dancing next to Amy, who is the worst dancer in class. Liz decides that if Amy was a better dancer, than Jess would get more attention. Since she dances next to her, the teacher puts all of her focus on Amy. They make plans to tutor her on dancing, but Jess blows it off to hang out with the Unicorns. The club keeps saying she’s sure to win the lead role. At the next class, Madame Andre notices that Amy is better and praises Liz for working with her. Jess finally snaps and goes off on Liz, calling her a teacher’s pet. The two girls stop talking and act like total brats around each other. The day of the auditions dawn and Liz goes shopping with their mom. The time of the

Goosebumps #51: Beware, the Snowman

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Jaclyn and her aunt Greta are moving to a remote snow village, for reasons her aunt can’t explain. As soon as they arrive, she notices that everyone has snowmen with red scarves on their front lawn. She’s also fascinated with a huge icy mountain just outside town that everyone warns her about seeing up close. She makes the mistake of trying to get up the mountain and is kind of attacked by a wolf. His owner Conrad warns her not to try it again. Later she meets Rolonda and her little brother Eli. They explain that the snowmen are part of tradition, warn her about the top of the mountain and generally act a little weird. Rolonda then gets her alone in a church and tells her the true story of what happened in the town. Originally two sorcerers lived there and practiced magic. They accidentally created a snowman monster and trapped in at the top of the mountain. Eli pops out of nowhere and tells her that he saw it himself and wanted her to know because he knew she wouldn’t believe the s

Goosebumps #1: Welcome to Dead House

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Amanda and her little brother Josh are moving into a new house in the town of Dark Falls. Mr. Dawes, the real estate agent explains that their dad had a long lost uncle that died and left them the house. Both think it looks like a haunted house and Amanda is sure that she sees a boy looking down at her from upstairs. Things are pretty weird from the moment they move into the house. Their dog Petey hates Mr. Dawes and keeps growling at him. Amanda thinks she sees people in the house, usually kids. Someone keeps rearranging the clothes in her room or leaving clothes sitting out and her dad thinks she’s just imaging things until she gets used to the move. The two meet a neighborhood guy named Ray, who says he used to live in their house, but moved. He introduces them to some other kids, including Karen and George. The kids pretty much play baseball and chill for most of the book. Then Petey disappears one night and they can’t find him anywhere. Josh sneaks outside and Amanda follows

Sweet Valley High #4: Power Play

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Robin Wilson is fat-fat. I know this because the ghostwriter told me approximately 1700 times over the course of 150 pages. She also believes that she is Jessica’s best friend, which just goes to show how little she knows about that bitch. Their friendship mainly consists of her doing random things for Jessica and being her servant. Jessica is now the president of PBA, which is amazing given that she just became a member three books ago. Mrs. Wilson asks Liz if Jessica plans on nominating Robin because her daughter is contemplating dropping out of school. Consider what that school is actually like, I suggest Robin run for the hills. Robin worries about the nomination too and Liz finally decides that she will put her name up for nomination. Jess is shocked because Robin is fat and can’t possibly make the sorority look good. She breezes through their next meeting, trying to finish before Liz arrives from a newspaper meeting, but she gets there in time. She nominates Robin, pointing o

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #4: The Unicorns go Hawaiian

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Jessica gets reprimanded for making a terrible potato salad in school. That night, she’s hanging out with Mandy, who sees an ad for a pineapple recipe contest. They joke around and make a potato salad with raw potatoes, pineapple, anchovies and green food coloring. She submits the recipe and forgets all about it. Suddenly it’s months later and the twins are getting ready to spend Christmas break with their grandparents skiing. Lila bursts into school, excited because she accidentally read a magazine belonging to her maid and Jessica won the pineapple contest. She wins a trip to Hawaii for her and two friends. She decides to invite Mandy and Mary, which pisses Lila off. That night she goes home and tells her parents the news. Unfortunately they grew a pair overnight and decide that she can’t go to Hawaii without chaperones. She’s skiing and that’s it. Then Lila calls and reveals that her dad offered to take her and the rest of the Unicorns to Hawaii over break. Somehow he agrees to

Goosebumps #13: Piano Lessons can be Murder

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Jerry and his parents are moving into a new house because that’s how most Goosebumps books start. He’s a pretty big practical joker and within the first few pages, he manages to convince his parents that clumps of gray dust are actually mice. After deciding to investigate the attic, he comes across a gorgeous old piano. Within a few hours, he and his parents decide that he should take lessons. They hire a guy named Dr. Shreek since he’s the only one listed in the newspaper. He looks like Santa Clause, complete with a red face, white mustache, and big belly. At their first lesson, he gushes about how Jerry has perfect hands and that after a few lessons, he can start coming to the music school. Jerry starts hearing the piano playing at night, but no one believes him. He meets this girl Kim from his school and once she hears where he’s taking lessons, she runs off in a panic. Jerry keeps hearing the music playing and one night sees a girl ghost sitting on the bench. Each time he hears

Sweet Valley High #25: Nowhere to Run

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Emily Mayer is feeling down in the dumps. Her mom left town and she told everyone that she died. Her dad remarried a rich, bitchy woman named Karen and they now have a baby Karrie. She’s crushing on her bandmate Dan, but even he doesn’t seem to realize she exists. She volunteers to write an article for the paper, at the behest of Karen, which leads to a friendship with Liz. No matter what Emily does, Karen doesn’t approve. Even though her dad supported her drum playing, Karen thinks it’s a waste of time. She refuses to let her practice anytime Karrie is in the house, which is always, and her dad sides with his wife. She invites Dan over to practice because Karrie has a doctor’s appointment. Karen comes home early and explodes. She calls Emily’s mom a tramp and she runs off in tears. She goes to the Wakefield house and they try to help, despite never suffering a bad day. They convince Emily to call her dad, but he sides with Karen again and demands she come home. The next day, Emily

Point Horror: Nightmare Hall #12: The Whisperer (Diane Hoh)

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Shea did a really, really bad thing. She stole a copy of her upcoming test from her professor’s office. When the book opens, she’s sitting with her roommate Tandy, friend Diane and Diane’s boyfriend Sid. They introduce her to a new guy Coop and they hit it off right away. Professor Stark is nearby and they all talk about how much they hate her. Shea gets a mysterious phone call at the restaurant from someone warning her that they know her secret. At the end of their next class, Professor Stark announces that someone stole a copy of her test. She has proof because she had a camera recording the room. She decides to show the tape at their next class. Shea decides to just admit that she stole the copy and goes to her office. She finds the teacher face down on the floor and runs off in fear. Apparently someone hit her over the back of the head and took off. The teacher is paralyzed and can’t move her legs. Shea freaks out, wondering if she left behind fingerprints or other evidence tha

13 Tales of Terror: “The Doll” by Carol Ellis (Point Horror)

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A fisherman stumbles on a black box stuck in the side of a cliff. A few months earlier, Abby and her sister Lindsay moved to a new house after their parents’ divorce. After moving into the creepy old house, she decides to clean out the attic. Upstairs she finds an antique porcelain doll in an old leather case. Her mom thinks the doll might be valuable, but she thinks it is pretty enough to display in her room. Her friend Erin spends the night and thinks the doll is just creepy. Abby has a dream that she’s a little girl hiding in the hallway. Then she hears a scream, wakes up and finds that Erin almost fell down the stairs. Erin swears the someone or something tripped her. Mark, the hot guy in school, asks Abby out on a date. He comes by the house and Lindsay shows him the doll. She tells Abby that the doll was sitting in the middle of the hallway. Mark thinks it’s cute that she has a doll and that while pretty, the doll is not as pretty as her. Abby has another dream. This time s

Sweet Valley High #23: Say Goodbye

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Todd Wilkins is leaving Sweet Valley! Oh noes! Actually, when you consider that he is supposedly one of the most popular guys at SVH, no one really seems to give a shit except for Liz. She cries quite a bit and mopes over his leaving. She tells both Steven and Enid that they decided to stay a couple and not see other people. Both try to convince her that it doesn’t make sense. Enid throws Todd a going away party and they sneak off for a few minutes together. Todd tells her that his dad sat him down for a talk over their relationship and it isn’t fair of him to keep a hold on her. She tells him that she can’t picture dating anyone else and cries again. He gives her a gold locket, she promises to never take it off and they decide to stay together. Given that she can’t even stay faithful when he’s 10 minutes away, I don’t see this ending well. Jessica takes it upon herself to find another guy for her twin and Nicholas Morrow is just perfect. She goes to Mr. Collins and asks him to ass

The Babysitters Club #27: Jessi and the Superbrat

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Becca Ramsey is obsessed with the television show P.S. 162 and one of the guys on the show, Lamont. During one episode, she casually mentions that the guy playing Waldo lives in Stoneybrook. Jessi talks to Mallory, who reveals that Derek Masters lives in town when not filming his show and was in Nicky’s class. At the next BSC meeting, Jessi wants to talk about him, but Mrs. Masters calls first. The show is on hiatus and she needs a sitter for Derek and his little brother Todd. Jessi is the only one free, so she gets the job. On her first sitting job, she is shocked that he (a) doesn’t wear glasses like Waldo and (b) is really bad at science, while Waldo is a genius. She is also surprised that he likes playing with his little brother. At her next ballet class, Jessi learns that the Stoneybrook Civic Center is doing a production of Swan Lake and her teacher thinks she is talented enough to audition. Jessi moans about the audition constantly and how she’s not that great, but of course

Point Horror: The Phantom (Barbara Steiner)

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Forgive me if this one is lacking some details. It started out kind of interesting, but then got super boring and I started speed reading and skimming. Amelia “Mel” is a cheerleader and worried about her co-cheerleader and best friend Jillian. Jillian was dating the football quarterback, but he was seriously injured in a game. He went into a coma and died almost a year ago. Her boyfriend Garth was supposed to guard him during the game and he kind of blames himself for what happened. At the first pep rally, Jillian begs off, saying she can’t handle seeing everyone get so worked up. After the cheerleaders finish cheering, the lights go out and smoke blows across the room. Suddenly Reggie, the dead quarterback walks into the room, wearing his famous uniform. He waves to the crowd and then quickly disappears. Everyone thinks Coach Pal was behind it, but he thinks it was just a disgusting prank. He uses it to get the crowd fired up for the next game. Amelia sneaks backstage and sees a

Nightmare Hall #7: Pretty Please

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Joanna is one of the Beautiful People on the Salem University campus. She and some friends were picked by a local photographer to star in an ad campaign for a clothing store and everyone now calls the group by that nickname. Joanna, Nan, Kelly, Reed and Carl go to a party thrown by a rich girl and Jo meets a cute guy named Evan. He likes that she doesn’t have to be the center of attention and is fine just hanging out away from the crowd. The crowd gathers together for a group photo and Joanna is somehow pushed through a plate glass window. When she wakes up, she’s in the campus infirmary with bandages covering every inch of her head. The doctor promises that she will just have a few minor scars around her eye and chin, but she still feels self-conscious. Nan and Kelly pick her up from the hospital and take her home. The guys, including Evan stop by the dorm and when they walk in her room, she discovers that someone covered all of the mirrors with thick, black cloth. Evan discovers

Goosebumps #7: Night of the Living Dummy

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Lindy and Kris are sisters that don’t get along and are super competitive with each other. One day they’re investigating a construction site and see clothing. Kris freaks out, thinking that it’s a kid, but when Lindy gets close, she sees that it’s a dummy. She immediately names it Slappy, makes it hit her sister and thinks it’s hysterical. Lindy gets pretty good at using the dummy and others start noticing. When she gets a gig at a birthday party and Kris realizes she’ll make money, she decides that she wants one too. Their parents tell them to share the dummy first and they’ll see if they both are still interested in a few weeks. They finally break down (after like a week) and buy Kris one from a pawn shop. While Lindy’s wears a little suit and shiny shoes, hers wears a flannel shirt, jeans and sneakers. She decides that hers is much cooler. Weird things start happening though, like they find Mr. Wood (Kris’s dummy) sitting on top of Slappy. Mr. Wood keeps moving around the room,

Sweet Valley High #69: Friend Against Friend

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Andy is getting picked on constantly by Charlie Cashman and his buddies, all because he’s black. If you’ve never heard of the character before, don’t worry because I barely remember him too. He wins a contest and gets the chance to study marine biology at the big center in town, which pisses the group off even more. They claim that he only got it because he’s black. His best friend Neil notices the problem, including the guys throwing trash in his locker and writing “go back to Africa” on it, but he does nothing. He says it’d because Andy doesn’t want him too, but it kind of seems like he doesn’t want to. It doesn’t help that his dad is kind of racist too. He has to sit and listen to his dad and Mr. Cashman complain about a black supervisor at work. The guys quickly escalate from slashing his tires to worse things. Neil and his girlfriend Penny walk outside and see the gang dragging Andy out of his car. He runs to help, while she calls the cops. Unfortunately Neil is feeling kind o

Point Horror: Nightmare Hall #1: The Silent Scream

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This is the book that started it all. Jess has just moved into the off campus dorm Nightmare Hall. She meets her new roommates Linda, Milo, Jon, Cathy and Ian, as well as the handyman Tucker. On the first night, their house mother falls down the stairs and breaks her hip, leaving the kids all alone. Ian makes the mistake of telling them the story of Gabrielle, who lived in the dorm before. She was a well liked girl, but one day came home and hung herself in her room, the same room Jess now lives in. Of course weird things start happening. When Ian says it was a suicide, a window slams shut. When Linda calls it a suicide, the mirror in her room explodes. Jess keeps noticing cold spots in her room that no one can explain. Then she comes home and finds muddy footprints leading into her room and then disappearing. Weird things happen to other people too. Cathy spends weeks working on a paper, only to have it disappear. She blames Milo and rips apart his room, but finds nothing. Someone

Sweet Valley Twins #1: Best Friends

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Ah, the book that started the Sweet Valley Twins franchise. Jessica and Elizabeth are starting sixth grade and realizing that they are two really different people. Elizabeth wants to start a school newspaper and is shocked that Jess wants nothing to do with it. Jessica wants to join the Unicorn Club and doesn’t give a damn if Liz wants in the club or not. Janet Howell decides that Jess must complete three tasks before joining. Apparently the club is really selective about bringing in sixth graders, but they are interested in her and one other girl. She is a little surprised that they don’t want Liz, but gets over it pretty fast. Her first task involves hiding Mrs. Arnett’s lesson plan book and putting it in her bag. Then she has to stand outside the girl’s room and convince three girls to use the boy’s room. The last task is to come to school looking completely different from Liz. She waits until Liz gets dressed, wears a different outfit, curls her hair and puts on makeup. Liz can